Wonderbread Kustomz Posted October 9, 2014 Share Posted October 9, 2014 (edited) Im so freakin mad right now my head is spinning.... Today is my birthday, and its been really good until a sherriff came by to serve me some papers from my loving father.... So, my father had a restraining order placed against me back in August.... No biggie, after the treatment I recieved from him, I have no use for him... Now he is claiming I violated the order twice last month... he claims I called him from a san diego phone number and said I sold his social security card to an illegal alien... First off, I live in Florida... Second, I dont even have his card, let alone know his social... and third, Ive got proof that I set uup my phone service on September 5th because I had no phone...his claim says I called on September 18th and 19th from San Diego.... Fourth, I was removed from his home on the 21st of August, and have proof via notorized letter from my sister in law stating I have been living and paying rent since August 22nd.... Now I had to pawn my ipad, and borrow more money so I can travel from FL to TN to court in exactly one week.... Im so pissed right now.... Oh and he now changed it from accusing me of stealing money to stealing his social security card.... Ive had a headache all BLAH_BLAH_BLAH_BLAH day and smoked about two packs of cigarettes.... Aggravated I say.... Edited October 9, 2014 by Wonderbread Kustomz Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ace-Garageguy Posted October 9, 2014 Share Posted October 9, 2014 No fun at all when relatives' heads explode and they file with the courts. Good luck with it all. Just stay calm and make SURE you have irrefutible documentation to back up EVERYTHING you say is true Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angelo7 Posted October 9, 2014 Share Posted October 9, 2014 Sorry to hear this. Even sadder from a father. Just take one day at a time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jrherald420 Posted October 9, 2014 Share Posted October 9, 2014 Yep, have all proof with you including statements that are notarized. After that is done file a law suite to get back the money you have lost because of his claims. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Petetrucker07 Posted October 9, 2014 Share Posted October 9, 2014 (edited) We share the same birthday. That really blows. Especially since its your dad. Well hopefully your birthday gets salvaged. Happy Birthday, hopefully the day ends decent for ya. Edited October 9, 2014 by Petetrucker07 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
booboo60 Posted October 9, 2014 Share Posted October 9, 2014 Dam! I lite the wrong end of my last smoke and thought that pissed me off! Dam you ol man must be one hard SOB! Dam, ol school man, good luck my friend, my pops an i got along good, even raced together! BLAH_BLAH_BLAH_BLAH..not helping, sorry..i live in fla too, good luck bro Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slusher Posted October 9, 2014 Share Posted October 9, 2014 You have a right to be mad and that just hurts your heath and ruins the days your angry. Take all your proof and spouse Then put it behind you. Bad deal for your birthday friend. Hang in there.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
southpier Posted October 9, 2014 Share Posted October 9, 2014 sounds like HE is the one that needs help. maybe dementia or other uncontrollable stuff going on in his head. and stop smoking fer crissakes; that's not helping anyone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clovis Posted October 9, 2014 Share Posted October 9, 2014 Hang in there, James.Praying for you. Praying that you have peace in this very difficult time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1930fordpickup Posted October 9, 2014 Share Posted October 9, 2014 We are pulling for you here. Good luck and I agree with Bill , back everything up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Handley Posted October 9, 2014 Share Posted October 9, 2014 sounds like HE is the one that needs help. maybe dementia or other uncontrollable stuff going on in his head. and stop smoking fer crissakes; that's not helping anyone. Him not smoking might be just as bad if not worse at this moment. Knew an elderly man who lost his wife to cancer and was a bundle of nerves and when his Doctor asked him if there was anything he could think of that would calm him down, he said that when he had been a smoker, that would usually help calm him down. The doctor figured that if smoking was about the only thing that calmed him, he could try picking it back up. Granted he was old enough that it no longer really mattered (he still lived for quite a while after this), but if it helps keep the OP's nerves in check, I couldn't fault him for lighting up during these times. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quick GMC Posted October 9, 2014 Share Posted October 9, 2014 quitting smoking will make it so much worse, at this particular time. Can't you just ignore the order and stay out of TN forever? They'll put a warrant out, but I don't think they'll bother crossing state lines to come get you. I vaguely remember your story. Does your dad have dementia or something that might be causing this. I'm sorry you have to deal with this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slusher Posted October 9, 2014 Share Posted October 9, 2014 quitting smoking will make it so much worse, at this particular time. Can't you just ignore the order and stay out of TN forever? They'll put a warrant out, but I don't think they'll bother crossing state lines to come get you. I vaguely remember your story. Does your dad have dementia or something that might be causing this. I'm sorry you have to deal with this. Not showing up might be an admission of guilt. May depend on the charges and if arrested they may not grant bail and who knows how long it may take to get to court.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lunajammer Posted October 9, 2014 Share Posted October 9, 2014 If what you're saying is completely correct, there may be deeper issues here that will require patience and understanding... like southpier said, dementia, alzheimers, stroke? Even if he's getting too unreliable to keep track of his own meds that can result in behavioral changes. Though there's obviously pre-existing tensions, see if you can find a way to check his health. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ace-Garageguy Posted October 9, 2014 Share Posted October 9, 2014 Can't you just ignore the order and stay out of TN forever? They'll put a warrant out, but I don't think they'll bother crossing state lines to come get you. Not showing up might be an admission of guilt. May depend on the charges and if arrested they may not grant bail and who knows how long it may take to get to court.. In many cases, if you don't show up, you lose by default. That means you're screwed, as there's no going back and undoing it. For your own peace of mind, and not having to wonder if you're going to be arrested some time in the future (or if you happen to get pulled over for a burned out light in Tennessee) , you probably ought to go to court. If you have solid evidence to back up what you say, you'll be OK. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bobthehobbyguy Posted October 9, 2014 Share Posted October 9, 2014 While it may seem tempting to ignore this that is not the solution. . You need to show that your fathers illness or meds is causing this problem otherwise this is going to continue. Have you talked to his doctor to see if this is caused by his illness? Do you know what meds he is taking they could be part of the problem? Don't judge your father too harshly until you have addressed these questions. Finally take a deep breath and relax you need to have your wits about you to deal with this Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wonderbread Kustomz Posted October 10, 2014 Author Share Posted October 10, 2014 Thanks guys...... I am going to show up to court... if I dont show up, they will issue a warrant and they will notify Florida and a sheriff will come to arrest me.... as far as his doctors go... I am not allowed to have any contact with his physicians, place of employment, or anyone who has any contact with him.... I have all the proof I need.... and agreed, I should quit smoking, but at this point.... Ill wait til this is over with and then Ill make a plan to stop smoking.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom Geiger Posted October 10, 2014 Share Posted October 10, 2014 Sorry to hear this James... family stuff sucks! I know how this elder stuff works, we've been up to our ears in aging and dying parents for the last decade. My father had his wits about him, but as we all knew he was dying of cancer he refused to acknowledge it or make any plans for the future care of my mother who had Alzheimer's. His doctor called my sister and I in for a consult, frustrated with the situation. There was no talking to my dad, so I went to their family attorney, who was a friend of my mother's who tersely told me to butt out of my parents affairs. Once my father was on his death bed, my aunt (his sister) went to same attorney and got him to sign a will and sign over my mother's care to me. Same attorney apologized to me and suddenly was my best friend. Then my sister smelled money and went to the attorney to challenge my power of attorney and executorship of estate. Fortunately the attorney chased them away and they weren't brave enough to try a court challenge. It became a tense 10 years until my mother finally passed penniless. My relationship with my sister has never been right since. Hope things get better for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bobthehobbyguy Posted October 10, 2014 Share Posted October 10, 2014 James you need to make sure the court understands the hardship this has created for you and that you have had or will have the desire to violate the restaining order. Otherwise he could cause this to happen again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mnwildpunk Posted October 11, 2014 Share Posted October 11, 2014 James I feel your pain this past Nov-feb my mom was losing her battle with cancer and became livid with me. I was her power of attorney and because of my job I had to put her in a home but before that her mind was going she misplaced things, she was hallucinating and was blaming me. My situation didn't get as bad as yours but very easly could've. #1. Thing I suggest is get proof that way hopefully the charges can be amended. I'm pulling for you idk what your relationship was before the cancer but if it was like my mom and I with her sudden mood change. From the person she was it truly was a hard thing to watch I feel for ya and wish you the best Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wonderbread Kustomz Posted October 11, 2014 Author Share Posted October 11, 2014 there was never a relationship with him... he was never around when i was growing up... i saw him a total of two times growing up... once when i was eight and the other time when i was 21.... I couldnt find him growing up as he was always moving or had a PO box... he was a truck driver during the 70s and 80s... I found him two years ago and started talking to him once a week.... I honestly hoped for a good relationship with him... and to top things off, I got served with yet another violation of the same thing.... So a total of three violations... Im going to tell the judge that this is creating stress and a hardship financially on me... and that I have no desire to talk to him or come back to the state of Tennessee.... Im also going to see about filing a restraining order against him as well... And Im going to countersue him for financial expenses because Im having to take out a loan due to having to travel there just to go to court.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mnwildpunk Posted October 11, 2014 Share Posted October 11, 2014 Oh I got ya my relationship with my dad is sort of the same way. I wish you all the best looks like you tried and that's more then you can say for him. I'm pulling for ya hope once it is all done ill see some more awesome builds from ya like the one weathered delivery truck of yours I remember Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bobthehobbyguy Posted October 11, 2014 Share Posted October 11, 2014 James you would have always wondered if you did not make the effort to establish a relationship with your dad. It just horrible that your effort turned into such a horrible experience Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wonderbread Kustomz Posted October 12, 2014 Author Share Posted October 12, 2014 James you would have always wondered if you did not make the effort to establish a relationship with your dad. It just horrible that your effort turned into such a horrible experience Thanks Bob... I completely agree with you on that... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mikemodeler Posted October 12, 2014 Share Posted October 12, 2014 Before you show up in court, take the time to write down timelines and the action you took to try to find your father. If he wasn't in your life growing up, chances are he never paid child support, something worth mentioning to the judge. Detail what has happened since you made contact with your Dad, with information from other family members who have been a part of the experience, and the impact on your life since contacting him. Regardless if he has a medical condition, mental defect or is suffering from dementia, the agony and expense he has put you through is a shame and should not be allowed to go on. Not sure what the standard is for filing these claims with the court are, but if you can explain that he is in the wrong, he could be charged with false claims. You might want to contact the public defender or legal aid department of the county in Tennessee to see if they can help you with your defense. Maybe if you show up with a lawyer your father will see things differently and the nonsense will come to an end. Finally, if he has some financial resources and filing a lawsuit to recover your expenses for these false claims is a possibility, you should consider what is most important to you. Yes, he has caused you great pain (emotional and financial), but it will continue with your lawsuit, so sometimes it is better to "cut bait" and go on. I learned a long time ago it is best to move on and be the "better man", despite what we might feel in the heat of the moment. I wish you a belated Happy Birthday and more importantly, the best of luck with this latest drama. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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