Stupid things people say at car shows

[Jantrix]

Or anywhere, about cars in general. Please feel free to add some of the winners from your experience.

These first two are from a co-worker. I can barely stand to be around this guy. And because he knows I'm into cars, always has some BS car story. The rest are from some recent car shows

"My mother had a stock ’66 Mustang fastback with a Cobra Jet engine. She bought it right off the showroom floor. It was crazy fast. I know it was a ’66 because I was born that year."

"I had one of those back in ’91. It would pull 6’s in the quarter mile. No, never took it to a drag strip, I’d take it to a back country road, measure the distance and do a run just counting off mississippi’s."

"The y-blocks are okay, but I like the t-block better."

"I don’t see a master cylinder, does the car have brakes?"

"This one has only one tail light, two was optional that year."

"If this is a Ford engine then why is the distributor in the back?"

"I don’t know why everyone looks down on the small block. You can get just as much horsepower out of a small black as you can a big block."

Edited November 13, 2013 by Jantrix

[Randytheroadrunner]

I was at a show where a guy had a really nice AMC Rebel Machine, and people were saying what a nice Road Runner it was.

[Rob Hall]

Probably 20 years ago I was with my Dad in his '68 Cougar..came out of a convenience store and some young guys (my age, I was in my early 20s then) walked by and said 'sharp Camaro!'

[Ace-Garageguy]

I built a custom convertible 240Z many years ago, and was driving it in primer, sans any ID. It DID have a leather-knobbed gearshift lever I'd pirated from a Fiat (still with the enameled Fiat badge on top). I came out of a restaurant and overheard a girl exclaiming what a cool looking car it was, and her boyfriend 'expert' told her it wasn't anything special...just a ratty Fiat.

Another time I was driving a client's Pantera, and came out of another restaurant in time to overhear another 'expert' pontificating on it being a "Lamboriginie Kountak", though it had a powered-by-Ford badge on the butt, Ghia emblems on the front fenders, and huge PANTERA GTS graphics on the rockers.

[Nxr]

AMC cars always get mistaken, the Scrambler always gets taken for a dodge and the amx or javelin seems to somehow make people think its a gt 500 or a mustang.

[tubbs]

hehe.... how neat... do we have enough room for all of them. most of mine are mopar based. you know your in for a long conversation when the guy starts out like this...

"I used to have one of those....."

then it graduates to.....

"mine was a 350, not a 383"

"mine was a dodge, not a Plymouth"

'mine had a 8 3/4 dana"

then you have the know-it-all's"

"that should have a black push button on the door handle, not a chrome one."

"that's the wrong (insert whatever part here)!"

"that car never came with (insert whatever part here)!"

when someone tells me these things, I ask "what kind of car did you have?" and their reply ... "oh, I never owned one, but I have read about them"

onward.....

"is it fast?"

"can you spin the tires?"

"boy, I guess you get lousy gas mileage."

and on a more personal level, (see picture of my car and you will see what I mean, and no offense to anyone who thinks the same, we will save all that for another thread...)

"why did you go ahead and do THAT for?"

I am sure I will post up some more later.

Edited November 13, 2013 by tubbs

[Scale-Master]

I had a guy argue at me ( I tried to ignore him, but there was an entertainment factor in his stupidity) for almost an hour at a show that my '73 RS Camaro was a '72 because that was the only year they had the split bumper. (The RS option was available on all '70-'73 Camaro's.)

I finally opened the drivers door and showed him the OEM tag with the build date of June 1973.

He retorted that even GM screwed up when they mistakenly put the build date on it.

Best part is some stranger watched the whole thing, came over and introduced himself since he was getting such a chuckle out of it, and we have been great friends for over a dozen years now.

[Tom Geiger]

I used to own a very nice 1973 Plymouth Scamp. Every time I'd take it to a show there always was at least one loud mouthed jerk who would matter of factly tell me that I had wasted my time and money on a nothing car and if I had spent that same money on a Mustang or Camaro I'd really have something.

[MAGNUM4342]

At the recent show I did, I had no less than three people tell me their grandfather helped build the original Batmobile, and one guy told me his dad owned it...for just a couple of years. :lol: :lol:

[Jantrix]

entertainment factor in his stupidity

:lol:

Oh man, ain't it the truth. I went to the Ocala Pumpkin Run recently and overheard someone say "Nice rat rod" to some fella with a flat black '49 Ford. What an earful that owner gave the patron. Put a smile on my face for the rest of the day.

[Nitro Neil]

"why did you go ahead and do THAT for?"

I tell them because this is America and I can do what I want to my own car.

All of these comments are one reason that whenever I take my car to a show - (I don't do that very often. I would rather drive it than park it on a lawn) - I park the car and leave it and go look at the other cars. Then I hang out with friends at their cars. That way I don't have to listen to people tell me what I did wrong.

I have a 68 Impala and it seems that everyone's GRANDFATHER owned one. Evidently my car isn't cool enough for anyone's FATHER to have owned one.

They also very often comment one how many bodies I can fit in the trunk.

[Tom Geiger]

They also very often comment one how many bodies I can fit in the trunk.

Yea, bodies of people who make stupid remarks!

[Rob Hall]

I have a 68 Impala and it seems that everyone's GRANDFATHER owned one. Evidently my car isn't cool enough for anyone's FATHER to have owned one.

I think that's more of a function of time and the age of the commenters than anything..

[Tom Geiger]

How about in a hobby shop?

Many years ago a small group of car modelers were in a Brooklyn, NY hobby shop one Saturday morning. A new guy came in and wanted to get into the conversation, and no doubt impress everyone that he was indeed a 'big fish'. So he spins this story about how his models are so good that he won Best of Show at NNL East. He continues on that the judges were very impressed with him and he won a trophy the size of a floor lamp. He then tells them that he's best friends with John Slivoski, who was president of Tri-State and ran the NNL.

What was wrong here? John Slivoski was one of the guys he was telling the story to and everyone else there knew it. Everyone just held their tongues and let him go on. Eventually he left and there were howls of laughter.

Facts - This guy probably hadn't even entered NNL East. The show as NEVER awarded trophies nor are there judges. And John didn't know this guy from Adam!

[tubbs]

"why did you go ahead and do THAT for?"

I tell them because this is America and I can do what I want to my own car.

All of these comments are one reason that whenever I take my car to a show - (I don't do that very often. I would rather drive it than park it on a lawn) - I park the car and leave it and go look at the other cars. Then I hang out with friends at their cars. That way I don't have to listen to people tell me what I did wrong.

I have a 68 Impala and it seems that everyone's GRANDFATHER owned one. Evidently my car isn't cool enough for anyone's FATHER to have owned one.

They also very often comment one how many bodies I can fit in the trunk.

that's what I usually say, only very diplomatically. you never know who is waiting outside the gates in a beat to BLAH_BLAH_BLAH_BLAH monarch. I stay nice to every stupid....er, everybody at shows. I hear you about driving it. I go to shows (mostly cruises) to see the other cars, not to show mine, it's just a cool way of getting there. the grandfather thing is funny. I can see that happening quit often.

that's another big (to me at least) stupid question.....

"how much is it worth?"..... probably more than you can afford.

[tubbs]

How about in a hobby shop?

Many years ago a small group of car modelers were in a Brooklyn, NY hobby shop one Saturday morning. A new guy came in and wanted to get into the conversation, and no doubt impress everyone that he was indeed a 'big fish'. So he spins this story about how his models are so good that he won Best of Show at NNL East. He continues on that the judges were very impressed with him and he won a trophy the size of a floor lamp. He then tells them that he's best friends with John Slivoski, who was president of Tri-State and ran the NNL.

What was wrong here? John Slivoski was one of the guys he was telling the story to and everyone else there knew it. Everyone just held their tongues and let him go on. Eventually he left and there were howls of laughter.

Facts - This guy probably hadn't even entered NNL East. The show as NEVER awarded trophies nor are there judges. And John didn't know this guy from Adam!

that's great!! I wouldn't be able to keep myself from cracking up.

[Nitro Neil]

"that's what I usually say, only very diplomatically."

Diplomacy has never been one of my strong suits

That's another reason I don't stick around my own car. I get into less trouble that way.

Edited November 13, 2013 by Nitro Neil

[MAGNUM4342]

If I had been John, I would have quietly listened while slowly getting out my driver's license. Then when the windbag ran out of air I would have held it up to him and said "Is this the guy?"

[Sixties Sam]

_{My son had a Ford Taurus SHO once. A friend of his had one and after he had moved, he took it to a Ford dealer for some warranty work. The mechanic told him they wouldn't honor the warranty since someone removed the stock engine and had installed an aftermarket Yamaha engine in it.}

[Plastheniker]

For about 35 years I always own two cars: an everyday car and another more or less exotic (in Germany) car for fun.
Stupid questions are inevitable, since only people without car expertise ask questions - the others don‘t need to ask.
Among all odd experiences these are my two most bizarre dialogues - up to now.

In the nineties I refueled this Esprit, because of his proportions obviously a mid-engine car.

Someone approached and asked: ”Is this a Porsche?” First I thought that this was a joke, but since the man did not look very intelligent (to be polite) and I wanted to get rid of him I replied: “Yes, brand new model.” But he wasn’t yet satisfied. He walked around the car, stopped at the rear lid and said: “She has a very large boot!” I pointed at the louvers of the lid and replied: “Yes, very big, but these vents are really impractical. When it is raining everytime I stop the luggage gets wet.” He really seemed to be convinced that he had just seen the world’s most stupid car.

In the eighties I was waiting for someone and stood near this Caterham Super Seven.

The picture shows that the protruding air filters and the front suspension were clearly visible. A group of (say 18 year old) experts stopped and the leader said: “I know these cars, they have a VW bug chassis.” I replied: “Yes, but the chassis is turned by 180° in order to have a front engine car.” The bigmouth seemed to be impressed., therefore I continued: “ But now the rear wheels are steerable. One has to get used to that”. Since he looked really staggered I pointed at the Union Jack below the windscreen frame and said : “English. It’s really true, everything coming from England is odd.”

I think it was Einstein who said (at least approximately): “I do not know if the universe is unlimited. But I do know that human stupidity is unlimited”. Since the latter episode I know that he was right.

[Ace-Garageguy]

...which reminds me of the time I was driving a brandy-new Porsche 914 in downtown Atlanta. Pulled into a gas station, opened the front hood for access to the fuel filler, and opened the rear deck to stow the fiberglass roof. Gas jockey looks bewildered and asks "engine ain't in front, ain't in back...where IS it??".

I just went along and said "man, I don't know". We looked the car over and just couldn't find an engine anywhere ( ) and I eventually drove off, with him still looking awestruck.

[Rob Hall]

...which reminds me of the time I was driving a brandy-new Porsche 914 in downtown Atlanta. Pulled into a gas station, opened the front hood for access to the fuel filler, and opened the rear deck to stow the fiberglass roof. Gas jockey looks bewildered and asks "engine ain't in front, ain't in back...where IS it??".

I just went along and said "man, I don't know". We looked the car over and just couldn't find an engine anywhere ( ) and I eventually drove off, with him still looking awestruck.

LoL...a buddy of mine has an '08 Boxster, front trunk, rear trunk, basically can't see much of the engine at all from above...

[kitbash1]

My friend owns a Porsche Cararra 4. We were out for lunch one afternoon and as we come out of the restaurant, some guy comes up to us and say's how come your car say's Camaro on the back . My friend looks at me then looks at the dope who asked the question and say's you need glasses or you need to learn more about cars jack a## !!!

[BKcustoms]

I took my Regal to a car show a while back and I heard at least 3 different people argue over whether it was a Monte Carlo or a Cutlass. And I also got told that my car couldn't possibly be a Buick because "they all came with turbo 6 cylinder motors" and mine has a Chevy 350...

[Tom Geiger]

My friend owns a Porsche Cararra 4. We were out for lunch one afternoon and as we come out of the restaurant, some guy comes up to us and say's how come your car say's Camaro on the back . My friend looks at me then looks at the dope who asked the question and say's you need glasses or you need to learn more about cars jack a## !!!

And I'm always impressed by the guys who put an ad up to sell their own car.. and they spell the car name wrong! Camero, Valient etc. You've owned the friggin car for how long and you can't spell it???

And it's the same guy who can't take a picture of the car. The ad contains photos that show sky, the ground, part of the car. How can you aim the camera at the car and miss?? Over and over??