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Something to cheer up your Monday blues . Aka humor


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#1 hotrod59f100

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Posted 07 May 2012 - 03:50 AM

A prayer to thee car gods lol.just for fun





Haul a Yugo. Haul a Yugo."

Gearly beloved, we are Blazered here in the name of our Four-door, who art in Half-ton.

I'm speaking of our lord and Mazda, Jeep-sus Chrysler.

He is the Alfa and the Romeo.

He was born in a Ranger, he was Tempo'd by the DeVille, and he Daihatsu'd for your Sentras.

He said, "Dodge not, that ye not be Dodged.

Thou shalt not Corvette thy neighbor's Whitewall, but turn the other Cherokee.

If ye have Fiat, ye can move Montecarlos.

He ain't Chevy, he's my Beretta."

He ate the Last Supra, and he climbed the mount of Cavalier, where they Cruise-controlled him on the Motocross.

But God, in his Infiniti Mercedes, did Rolls away the Stanza.

Let us Prelude: Sayeth the prophet Isuzu, in the Dusenburg Bible, In the 23rd Saab, "The Ford is my Chauffeur. I shall not Walk.

He Lexus me in the paths of Right-turn-signals.

Yea, though I walk through the Valet of the Shadow of Dart, I shall Fiero no Eagle.

Subaru Goo dwrench and Mercury shall Volvo me Audi Daytonas of my life, and I shall Dwellmeter house of Delorean, Four-cylinder."

Gloria, In Ex-Celica Geo!


#2 High octane

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Posted 07 May 2012 - 04:20 AM

Keep your day job.

#3 JunkPile

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Posted 07 May 2012 - 05:08 AM

Thats's Kaiser funny in a Willys kinda way!

#4 Greg Myers

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Posted 07 May 2012 - 05:48 AM

> On the outskirts of a small town, there was a big, old pecan tree just inside the cemetery fence. One day, two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts.
>
> 'One for you, one for me, one for you, one for me,' said one boy. Several dropped and rolled down toward the fence
>
> Another boy came riding along the road on his bicycle. As he passed, he thought he heard voices from inside the cemetery. He slowed down to investigate. Sure enough, he heard, 'One for you, one for me, one for you, one for me...'
>
> He just knew what it was. He jumped back on his bike and rode off. Just around the bend he met an old man with a cane, hobbling along.
>
> 'Come here quick,' said the boy, 'you won't believe what I heard! Satan and the Lord are down at the cemetery dividing up the souls!'
>
> The man said, 'Beat it kid, can't you see it's hard for me to walk.' When the boy insisted though, the man hobbled slowly to the cemetery.
>
> Standing by the fence they heard, 'One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me.'
>
> The old man whispered, 'Boy, you've been tellin' me the truth. Let's see if we can see the Lord...?
>
> Shaking with fear, they peered through the fence, yet were still unable to see anything. The old man and the boy gripped the wrought iron bars of the fence tighter and tighter as they tried to get a glimpse of the Lord.
>
> At last they heard, 'One for you, one for me. That's all. Now let's go get those nuts by the fence and we'll be done...
>
> They say the old man had the lead for a good half-mile before the kid on the bike passed him.
>

#5 Romell R

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Posted 07 May 2012 - 07:25 AM

Now thats Funny!!!

#6 rel14

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Posted 07 May 2012 - 09:37 AM

Two old redneck boys out hunting, and they ran across a hole in the ground,, and looked at each other and said, that sure looks deep,, so the first redneck picked up a rock and dropped it in the hole,,and heard n'thin.. so the second redneck round a big rock over to the hole, and dropped it in,,, heard n'thin,,they looked at each other, and said man, sure like to know how deep that is,,, so they looked around,,and said hey,,lets drag that big log over here, and drop it in the hole,,and they lined it up,,picked one end of the log up,,and dropped it in the hole,, a couple seconds later this Billy goat ran between them, jumped straight up in the air, and shot right down the hole,,, The two rednecks were amazed, looking at each other in disbelief,,they never in there life seen a billy goat do anything like that before,,,,,,,,Then this Farmer walked out of the tree line, and said,,,,,,,, YA TWO BOYS ANI'T SEEN A BILLYGOAT I HAD TIED TO A LOG AROUND HERE,,,.....

#7 Mercman

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Posted 07 May 2012 - 04:58 PM

Great stuff guys. Greg I remeber that one (cemetary joke) from when I was a kid many years ago.