I agree with Rob in principle, but I also think a lot of kids in single-mom homes need and can really benefit from a strong male leader / role model (though I know that's probably not today's idea of PC family workings). Calm communication and establishing ground rules can be more beneficial than after-the-fact discipline. I've been involved with several women over the years with children of various ages, and I've found that SOME pretty young kids are entirely capable of grasping concepts like respect for personal possessions.
A woman I knew had a 7-year old daughter who seemed to delight in taking the 3-year old's things and making her cry. One afternoon, I sat the older one down on the front steps and simply asked her to imagine if her little sister was instead her BIG sister, and how she'd like to be treated the way she was treating the little one. This incredible look of realization came over the 7-year old's face, and the problem ceased.
I agree with some of your points but being a step father in a blended family, I've taken several courses in regards to a blended family. Being the step father moving into a family of step children its very very hard. My step daughter respects me most of the time but even at first when I was the new "guy" coming into her life she had problems adapting. I accept her as my own daughter as I knew going in that my wife had a child. First thing the counselor told me as a step father was I should NEVER EVER physically correct her. Its the mothers job to do. That doesn't mean I can let her disrespect me and walk all over me. I can raise my voice at her, give time outs, put in the corner, ground her etc but never ever lay a hand on a step child. Any parent of a biological child shouldn't hit there child to begin with. In the end we came up with the agreement that I will act as her father, treat her as my own daughter but she will never ever call me Dad. You will only ever have ONE DAD. In the end, we are as close as she is with her DAD. Because I was stern, and corrected her as my own but never used force of physical discipline. Taking ipads, and cell phones now days works wonders ha ha.
To the originator of this post, I suggest getting the child his own set of tools. You can get a rather inexpensive set of tools at any Harbor Freight. If its model tools that the child wants to go after next, then head to Michaels and Hobby Lobby as they have weekly 40% off coupons which can build a very nice set of tools cheaply in a short period of time. I always stick to the thinking of Where there's a will there's a way when I get frustrated or angry with my step daughter. In my past 15 (have a biological daughter 3 years older then my step daughter), I have found that physically correcting children with but whoopens makes them even worse in the long run. I wish you the best with your situation and hope you can find a method that works well in the end bringing you two closer and with him giving you the respect you deserve. Being in a blended family with counseling on how to deal with situations if I can ever assist you with answering any questions please shoot me a private message Id be happy to help in any way I can.
3
well I should of noticed there was going to be a problem when I caught my soon to be step son using my snap-on breaker bar as a hammer. I was calm and told him that each tool has a job it's used for and that is it. " If you have to pound something in use a hammer because that's what a hammer is for."
