A man comes home one night thoroughly intoxicated. He doesn't want his wife to know, so he slowly creeps up the stairs toward the bedroom. Unfortunatly, he slips and lands on the beer he is holding and breaks the bottle all to pieces. His butt is very cut up so he goes to the bathroom, gets out some bandaids, and carefully covers each and every cut. Finaly, he sneeks into bed. When he wakes up in the morning, his wife is furious and asks if he had been drinking. He is understandably surprized, and askes how she had possibly known?
She replied- "Well, my first hint was the blood all over the sheets, the next one was the beer all over the stairs, and the clincher was the bandaids all over the bathroom mirror!"