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One of the announcements you least want to hear on an airplane...


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#1 sjordan2

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Posted 03 June 2014 - 06:35 AM

"Is anyone onboard a pilot?"

 

 



#2 HomerS

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Posted 03 June 2014 - 06:40 AM

I was in the KHL terminal of the Detroit airport when they came on the speaker asking for volunteers to be bumped as the flight to England was overbooked and overweight!  Say whaaaaatttt???  I had to call the wife and waited for the announcement to repeat as I wanted a witness to this one.  If I was to be on that plane, I would have preferred just knowing 'overbooked'....didn't need to know the second part of that announcement! 



#3 Deano

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Posted 03 June 2014 - 07:20 AM

"That sound you heard was not the engine falling off." 

 

"The engine is not on fire."



#4 Danno

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Posted 03 June 2014 - 07:51 AM

"We will be diverting to . . . "



#5 thatz4u

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Posted 03 June 2014 - 07:55 AM

"Hope the plane don't crash"  (pilot to co-pilot)



#6 Harry P.

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Posted 03 June 2014 - 08:09 AM

 

"Is anyone onboard a pilot?"

 

Does anyone on board speak Jive?   :lol:



#7 Scalper

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Posted 03 June 2014 - 08:21 AM

 

Does anyone on board speak Jive?   :lol:

 

Oh man. I love that movie

 

I have a drinking problem .



#8 Danno

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Posted 03 June 2014 - 09:36 AM

Actual announcement: 

 

 

"Pay no attention to the ambulances and fire trucks lining the runway.  They're not here for us.  Prepare for a bit of a bump when we land." 

 

 

 

 

PS:  Yes, they were there for us!


Edited by Danno, 03 June 2014 - 09:36 AM.


#9 Ace-Garageguy

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Posted 03 June 2014 - 01:21 PM

Ladies and gentlemen, in order to compensate for the rising cost of fuel (so we can continue to pay our CEO's multi-million dollar a year salary, even though he doesn't actually even know how planes fly) we've out-sourced our maintenance to the lowest bidder. Relax and enjoy your flight !!!  :)


Edited by Ace-Garageguy, 03 June 2014 - 01:23 PM.


#10 Ace-Garageguy

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Posted 03 June 2014 - 05:53 PM

 

Does anyone on board speak Jive?   :lol:

 

Wow. The Cleavered beaver. A babe in '57. I wonder if she was into manufacturing...Beav104BarbB.jpg



#11 Agent G

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Posted 03 June 2014 - 06:01 PM

"Oh $#!*"

 

Said by an Air Force crew chief whilst aboard a C-130 travelling from MCB 29 Palms, California to Camp LeJeune, North Carolina. As said phrase was spoken by said crew chief it became apparent that the unusual stains on his flight suit were hydraulic in nature.

 

U turn commenced immediately and we landed at Nellis AFB in the heart of Las Vegas NV. Trouble was we had just spent three weeks in the desert without seeing mainside, and we were armed.........   

 

G


Edited by Agent G, 03 June 2014 - 06:02 PM.


#12 martinfan5

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Posted 03 June 2014 - 06:16 PM

 Please enjoy your non stop Intl flight , we will arrive at our destination in about 16 hours , drinks will be coming your way soon. Oh, and all the toilets are backed up and not working .


Edited by martinfan5, 03 June 2014 - 07:59 PM.


#13 slusher

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Posted 03 June 2014 - 07:39 PM

Is there a doctor on board. He is needed in the cockpit..



#14 Custom Hearse

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Posted 04 June 2014 - 01:06 AM

 

Does anyone on board speak Jive?   :lol:

 

And don't call me Shirley! :lol:



#15 Custom Hearse

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Posted 04 June 2014 - 01:13 AM

An airplane was flying from L.A. to Hawaii when the pilot announced that they were gonna have to make a crash landing in the ocean. The pilot brought the plane down to water level and skimmed across until the plane came to a stop. The pilot got on the intercom and asked that the non-swimmers go to the left side of the plane, and the swimmers go to the right. Everyone seperated as the pilot instructed. The pilot came on again and announced, "swimmers, you have 1200 miles to go to get to Hawaii", "non-swimers, thank you for flying PSA"... :blink: :lol:



#16 mikemodeler

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Posted 04 June 2014 - 10:19 AM

"Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue!"



#17 Harry P.

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Posted 04 June 2014 - 03:21 PM

 

Wow. The Cleavered beaver. A babe in '57. I wonder if she was into manufacturing...Beav104BarbB.jpg

 

Ditto on the "babe in '57."

 

And Ward must have been a happy camper.... June wore a pearl necklace all the time...  ^_^



#18 Agent G

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Posted 04 June 2014 - 03:26 PM

^ oh baby ^

 

G



#19 kitbash1

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Posted 04 June 2014 - 04:20 PM

My dad told me this. On the the trip back from a bombing mission to Berlin, this came through his headset, hey skipper, we still got one hung-up in the bomb-bay. Are you ( insert swear words here ) me my old man shot back. That's a positive skip, a 500 pounder and it's hot ! It fell out an hour or so later as they flew back to England with the bomb-bay doors open.


Edited by kitbash1, 05 June 2014 - 03:42 AM.
swearing


#20 Tom Geiger

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Posted 04 June 2014 - 04:22 PM

 

Wow. The Cleavered beaver. A babe in '57. I wonder if she was into manufacturing...Beav104BarbB.jpg

 

"What's that gnawing sound out in the driveway Ward?"

"Don't worry June, that's just our new 1960 Plymouth rusting."

 

There's a new nostalgic tv show channel here in Philly. I've been taping the Beav' and some of the old cop shows.