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Custom Hearse

Member Since 24 Mar 2006
Offline Last Active Today, 03:31 AM
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Posts I've Made

In Topic: Let's see your long wheel base trucks

26 December 2014 - 05:19 AM

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In Topic: Revenge on the Highway

26 December 2014 - 05:00 AM

Here's the whole movie on YouTube if anyone wants to watch it...

 


In Topic: some corny jokes

26 December 2014 - 12:37 AM

A young guy from N. J. moves to Fla. He goes to a big "everything under one roof" store looking for a sales job.

The Manager says, "Do you have any sales experience?"

The kid says, "Yeah. I was a salesman back in New Jersey."

Well, the boss liked the kid and gave him the job. "You start tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you did."

His first day on the job was rough, but he got through it.

After the store was locked up, the boss came down. "How many customers bought something from you today?"

The kid says, "One."

The boss says, "Just one? Our sales people average 20 to 30 customers a day. How much was the sale for?"

The kid says "$101,237.65."

The boss says "$101,237.65? What the heck did you sell?"

The kid says, "First, I sold him a small fishhook. Then I sold him a medium fishhook. Then I sold him a larger fishhook.

"Then I sold him a new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast,

"So I told him he was going to need a boat, so we went down to the boat department and I sold him a twin engine Chris Craft."

"Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4x4 Expedition."

The boss said, "A guy came in here to buy a fishhook, and you sold him a BOAT AND a TRUCK?!"

The kid said, "No, the guy came in here to buy Tampons for his wife, and I said, 'Dude, your weekend's shot, you should go fishing.'"


In Topic: some corny jokes

26 December 2014 - 12:32 AM

A blonde, out of money, and down on her luck after buying air at a real bargain, needed money desperately.

To raise cash, she decided to kidnap a child and hold him for ransom.
She went to the local playground, grabbed a kid randomly, took him behind a building, and told her, "I've kidnapped you."

She then wrote a big note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and leave it under the apple tree next to the slides, on the south side of the playground. Signed, A blonde."

The blonde then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents.
The next morning, the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the apple tree.

The blonde looked in the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow blonde?"


In Topic: some corny jokes

26 December 2014 - 12:15 AM

A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods.

She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.

The frog said to her, 'If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes.'

The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, 'Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes.

Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!'
The woman said, 'That's okay.'

For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.

The frog warned her, 'You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to'.

The woman replied, 'That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful

Woman and he will have eyes only for me.'

So, KAZAM-she's the most beautiful Woman in the world!

For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.

The frog said, 'That will make your husband the richest man in the world. And he will be ten times richer than you.'

The woman said, 'That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his is mine.'

So, KAZAM-she's the richest woman in the world!

The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, 'I'd like a mild heart attack.'

Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.

Attention female readers : This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue feeling good.

Male readers :

The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife.
Moral of the story : Women are really dumb but think they're really
smart.

Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show.

PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to show that women never listen...now run along and put the coffee on, there's a good woman.