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SfanGoch

PLEEEEEEEZ! Just go back to Flyoverlandia!

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The dreaded SantaCon is in full swing. The only thing more annoying than a mob of drunk Quaids, Montagues, Cankleens and Stephonicas ruining your recreational drinking activities at your local gin mill is a mob of drunk Quaids, Montagues, Cankleens and Stephonicas ruining your recreational drinking activities at your local gin mill dressed as  Santa and his elves. Season's beatings are definitely in order. Now, where did I put that baseball bat?

Booze-fueled SantaCon has come to (Mid)town as revelers defend the dreaded annual event

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Fascinating... didn't know such a thing existed.  Sounds like it would be a good plot event for a 3rd 'Bad Santa' movie. 

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Wow, kind of a Sturgess in costume and without the bikes!  That is strange!

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1 hour ago, SfanGoch said:

The dreaded SantaCon is in full swing. The only thing more annoying than a mob of drunk Quaids, Montagues, Cankleens and Stephonicas ruining your recreational drinking activities at your local gin mill is a mob of drunk Quaids, Montagues, Cankleens and Stephonicas ruining your recreational drinking activities at your local gin mill dressed as  Santa and his elves. Season's beatings are definitely in order. Now, where did I put that baseball bat?

Booze-fueled SantaCon has come to (Mid)town as revelers defend the dreaded annual event

Hay man, calm down. You could always dress up as the Grinch just to mess with them.  

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Unless you've experienced this in person, you really have no idea as to how bad it is. A lot of establishments will lock their doors and not let them in when the see them coming. These clowns cause a lot of chaos in the bars and bother the living hell out of the customers. There have been bars which were completely trashed by SantaCon participants, which is why they aren't welcome in a lot of places. Also, the large number of obnoxious costumed drunks loitering around the various neighborhoods particularly pisses off local residents. I can safely say that two of my favorite dive bars won't be tolerating any disruptions to the regular routine. :D 

image.jpeg.e1032705eec00ed5e13a2c3e453502eb.jpeg

Image result for hank's saloon

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This would drive me crazy. Please don't come to Canada...

Edited by kitbash1

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2 hours ago, kitbash1 said:

This would drive me crazy. Please don't come to Canada...

Would drive me nuts also, hope they don't show up in eastern Washington state.

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The Pubs need to hire some Bouncers whos knuckles drag the ground when they stand erect, problem solved.  

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11 hours ago, cowboy rich said:

Would drive me nuts also, hope they don't show up in eastern Washington state.

It's odd that you should say that, Rich. Washington State is one of the places that these costumed, urban exploring transplants originally came from. Usually, they emigrate from small tract housing communities located near shopping malls which were the center of their almost non-existent social lives and the locals wouldn't put up with this kind of happy horses**t. So, they make their way to NYC, usually settling in that mythical, magical place known as BushPointBurg. It is here where they are free, mainly because their parents are paying their bills, to continue acting out their teenaged years by doing quirky things like having boat races on the flooded streets during Superstorm Sandy, marketing "genuine" Brooklyn dirt for 25 bucks per test tubeful or deciding that it's, like yah, soooooo kewl to to live in abandoned houseboats on the shores of Newtown Creek and the Gowanus Canal, both designated as Superfund sites due to the toxicity of the water. Why, wedding ceremonies on skiffs has become the latest trend among the interloping set. Here are Zacc and Formaldehilda getting hitched by Rev. Zigward Hummusworth, pastor of the Church of the Sub-Genius and part-time latte foam sculptor at Cafe Rudin, under the picturesque Union Street Bridge. The main draw for the Gowanus Canal as an event location is that it is one of the few bodies of water where you can contract STDs by merely coming into casual contact with it. Note the reception hall in the background.

gowanuswedding2copy.jpg.53ad41b1b51241aadc613e30ec78edda.jpg

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They've discussed SantaCon on Howard Stern, and it sounds awful and ridiculous to me. Almost as bad as Wing Bowl.

 

 

Edited by iamsuperdan

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I guess I've led a sheltered life, just not familiar with any of these problems that you seem to have. I guess there is something to be said for living in a "Fly Over State".  

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1 hour ago, espo said:

I guess I've led a sheltered life, just not familiar with any of these problems that you seem to have. I guess there is something to be said for living in a "Fly Over State".  

Riding in shopping carts on truck routes is as bad as SantaCon.Considering that these pogo stick shaped playcationers are a major export from flyover states, rivalling manufactured and agricultural goods in terms of sheer numbers to large East Coast cities, you are in a win/win situation. They leave where you're at and come here.

hipster-fashion-men_large.jpg.375ac580ee6a514cfe70ea8a80a55ddd.jpggWVbmJ8.thumb.jpg.43d3d29e67daf9e2d1ebbc68ef9e0a7b.jpggeek.jpg.44438b3d43644427cebc451de53d7a06.jpg

Heck, humane, expertly set and baited traps have been set up near areas of heavy infestation in order to control them.

hiptrap.jpg.e59bad78ab632039af8aa0fdd1a54dab.jpg

You better hope that the market doesn't crash, thus wiping out the retirement accounts of the flyover state parents on whose dime they're sponging off. They figured doing so was a small price to pay in order to get their offspring to vacate the basement so dad can finally convert it into a proper game/entertainment room. If that occurs, expect a reverse migration back from whence they spawned. The effects will be 100 times worse than a plague of locusts, prairie dogs or gophers ruining your lawn or even being bombarded by robocalls from cable companies offering special price packages. 

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Pretty funny thread..the last post sounds like your hood is getting infested with Millenial hipsters with artisanal beards.    It does sound like a variation on what is a familiar problem in college towns everywhere, the culture clash between students and locals...

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The 50% less testosterone generation.  Soy boys, unite.     hipster-fashion-men_large.jpg.375ac580ee6a514cfe70ea8a80a55ddd.jpg     

I tend to see this as an ultimately self-correcting societal aberration, as it would seem to me to be highly unlikely any of these sporting lads will reproduce. 

EDIT: Of course, one should never underestimate young women's propensity to choose useless men to breed with.

Edited by Ace-Garageguy

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1 hour ago, Rob Hall said:

Pretty funny thread..the last post sounds like your hood is getting infested with Millenial hipsters with artisanal beards.    It does sound like a variation on what is a familiar problem in college towns everywhere, the culture clash between students and locals...

It's been infested with these red bearded fauxhemians since 1997. It's not just Millennials. There are the 35 year old kidults attending NYU, Columbia, etc. who are ready to celebrate their seventh anniversary as first semester freshmen as they attempt to get degrees in Etruscan Cat Poetry, Fine Art and English Lit which will leave them eminently qualified to fold jeans at Banana Republic, restock shelves at Barnes & Noble or make artwork by gluing macaroni on bedbug infested mattresses they scavenged before the sanitation trucks picked them up. Then, there are the 50+ year old single, pseudo-hip daddio artist/intellectual/unemployed musician losers who try to pretend to be cool by wearing 40 foot long scarves and lice-incubating ski caps in August, cheesy looking MC jackets with lame, obscure band patches on the lapels, oversized pork pie hats, high water pants and a beat up pair of Chuck Taylors in the hope that they can B.S. some braindead, bowling pin shaped canklesaurus with hairy armpits into giving up some strange. They priced themselves out of the Williamsburg section of Brooklyn because landlords took advantage of the fact that they were willing to pay almost anything just to say they are experiencing the "real" Brooklyn. It was a way they thought they were establishing their "street creds" to impress their stupid friends back home in Culdesacia. What they neglected to tell their gullible friends was that they were paying upwards of $3000/mo. for the privilege of sharing an illegally subdivided, roach-infested 1 BR apartment in a ratty, one step above condemned tenement building, surrounded by crack hookers and gangbangers as neighbors, with six other similarly stupid people. :D They risked getting robbed or, worse, having their apartments stripped bare every time the stepped outside their pads. These naive stooges think they're back home on the Great Plains and don't believe in locking the front door or windows facing the fire escapes. Bad for them; but, great for anyone looking for super deals on Macbooks, flatscreen TVs or slightly used surfboards.

So, next on the travelling roadshow itinerary was my neighborhood, Greenpoint, which is in the northernmost part of Brooklyn. They did the same here, willing to pay ridiculous rent for something slightly larger than a walk-in closet. The linguini-limbed Marco Polos acted as if they discovered Greenpoint, never mind that it's been inhabited since 1643. Developers jumped on this need to live in a cool zip code by constructing monstrous, dystopian-looking hipsterrariums where, in more than a few places, rent for a studio apartment is $5995/mo. OO-FAH! The parochial school I attended was converted to high end apartments. My old second grade classroom goes for $3250/mo. I could only hope that the spirit of Sister Philemona, who looked like Ernest Borgnine in a habit, haunts the place. My neighborhood now has the distinction of the most expensive cup of latte in the city - 10 bucks for a 6oz. cup at the previously mentioned Cafe Rudin. Seriously though, natives and long time residents feel that they are George Bailey. There's almost nothing left of the old neighborhood. Heck, the deadbeats who run the new, $600 for a tee shirt boutiques won't even pony up a few bucks to the local merchants' association to pay for the Christmas decorations which used to decorate the main drag. And then, there's the icing on the cake - SantaCon! Merry Christmas, Tiny Tim! :D 

 

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1 hour ago, Ace-Garageguy said:

The 50% less testosterone generation.  Soy boys, unite.     hipster-fashion-men_large.jpg.375ac580ee6a514cfe70ea8a80a55ddd.jpg     

I tend to see this as an ultimately self-correcting societal aberration, as it would seem to me to be highly unlikely any of these sporting lads will reproduce. 

One can only hope. There's the possibility that their female counterparts might, in the absence of alpha or even beta males, mutate into a hermaphroditic form (sorta like slugs and barnacles), thereby allowing the continuance of these lifeforms.

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17 hours ago, SfanGoch said:

One can only hope. There's the possibility that their female counterparts might, in the absence of alpha or even beta males, mutate into a hermaphroditic form (sorta like slugs and barnacles), thereby allowing the continuance of these lifeforms.

I have enjoyed how you have expressed your inner most feelings about these developing future leaders of our society. After seeing the pictures you have provided I now understand why it is I haven't seen any of these people around here, If they were sighted in any drinking establishment or restaurant in this area we would be seeing the aftermath on the 10 PM news for sure.  

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On 12/11/2017 at 3:30 PM, SfanGoch said:

One can only hope. There's the possibility that their female counterparts might, in the absence of alpha or even beta males, mutate into a hermaphroditic form (sorta like slugs and barnacles), thereby allowing the continuance of these lifeforms.

Some states need to have a Shoot on Sight law.

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On 12/11/2017 at 3:30 PM, SfanGoch said:

One can only hope. There's the possibility that their female counterparts might, in the absence of alpha or even beta males, mutate into a hermaphroditic form (sorta like slugs and barnacles), thereby allowing the continuance of these lifeforms.

If widespread evidence on the interwebatron is anything to go by, I believe we may be seeing that happening already.

Related image      Image result for triggered gif

Edited by Ace-Garageguy

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