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Well, this has been a long, long week.......


Joe Handley

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Due to issues in relation to her illnesses, Mom passed away Monday night. She had been not lucid and in the hospital due to an infection since early Thursday morning which was found to be MRSA related sepsis and pneumonia and had been put on a respirator before the weekend. By Sunday we found that her kidneys were not working and would need dialysis and if she wasn't breathing on her own by this weekend, she would need a trachiotomy as well. Since she hadn't come out of it fully, we made the incredibly difficult decision to not maker suffer any more if she hadn't come out of it by Monday morning. My Sister took some sick time (she has a ton of it) and I took a personal day (we're both very lucky, boss wise) and spent Monday there with Mom and Dad. Mom  had become slighty lucid by noon  and Dad explained the problems and she didn't want the above options either. We took her off life support after my Brother in Law got there (the Baby was with his Mom, not safe to bring her) and were standing around her as she passed, with Elvis Gospel Music playing on Mom's cell phone, strangely, as the final song on the album my Sister chose to play came to an end, Mom stopped breathing and was officially declared a few minutes later. 

My boss ok'd me to take my 3 bereavement days mid week and use more PTO for Friday as well as approved unpaid time off for Saturday (the leave from yesterday covers the lost pay as I only was to work a half day. I've been spending time with Dad this week and my Sister is going to be taking her's the first half of next week so she can do the same then. We're hot holding services here, but going to have a family gathering in her little home town in Iowa the weekend before my birthday since I have 2 older cousins with birthdays within 2 weeks of mine, thinking we should maybe include the little one even though it's a bit early (about 5 weeks later) since she'll be nearly 11mo by then and her first time seeing our side of the family........and just may be her first real road trip too!

As we were leaving the hospital, my Sister let a relative know and within a few hours, one of my cousins who is one of the two mentioned above found out before we could call family and posted the below on FB....

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We miss her, immensly and wish she still with her and with I was working with plans to go and visit her after I get off work in the next hour instead of typing this out, but considering the pain she was in, lost quality of life she has had which would have been even worse, we know that she is in a better place and no longer in pain.

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16 minutes ago, alexis said:

Joe, how awful.  You made the right choice. I'll say a prayer for her soul.

Spend time with your Dad. He'll be shocked by what happened, now matter how prepared he seemed. Be gentle with him.

(and be gentle with yourself, as well)

We have been (should see if he is ready for dinner, conr to think of it!) and we were talking about going to the Chicago Auto Show  next month, haven't done been able to go together since 2014, and he can go to the model club meetings again. Might get to do other things together too when I'm not working.

7 minutes ago, cobraman said:

So sorry Joe. Stay strong !

Thank you, we're doing our best right now.

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So sorry for your loss Joe, our Moms are special to us and losing them hurts a lot. Take solace in knowing she is not suffering anymore and is pain free. Be there for your family, especially your Dad, as the coming days, weeks and months will be difficult for all of you. May God bless you all.

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Thanks again everybody, even if I'm sounding like a broken record!

 

One thing odd that has happened, just about every time I've gotten in the 200 and had the Elvis channel from Sirius on when started, there's an Elvis Gospel or Inspirational song playing, or is the next song in their rotation.....this has been happening every time I've started the car since I left the hospital just after midnight Monday morning, between when made the decision we did and when she had passed. Doesn't matter if Dad is with me or if I'm running somewhere on my own, kinda weirding me out a bit at this point too:blink:

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