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Reluctantly


James2

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I have been posting here for over 13 yr now and I have made some wonderful relationships during that time. Some just internet acquaintances others have been more formal and in person. I have found most to by genuine and honest people. I don't share personal things very often but, That being said I would like to share something very personal to me and my family.

On 6/21/20, Fathers Day morning I awoke to find my oldest child, Cody James lying in  the back yard under our swing next to the fire ring where his mother and I were just sitting the night before enjoying a bonfire. Cody had taken his own life sometime after we all went to bed.

I can not even begin to explain what happened after that. The thoughts, emotions, fears and tears were and still are over whelming for us. It will be a very long journey trying to navigate through this and process all the things that may have led up to this and an even longer journey moving forward from that tragic day.  I share this not to gain sympathy or cause sorry, but to make others aware of something that is considered Taboo. It is a life altering experience no one  should ever have forced upon them. But it happens and it happens more often than we all realize! 

Sep. is Suicide Prevention Month, I hope you would consider that for a moment and take time for one another. You never know if the people around you are doing everything they can to keep from falling apart... 

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My heart breaks for you, James. My nephew was lost to this 20 years ago in June. I know you and your wife will have to deal with this for the rest of your life. I will keep you in my prayers and look to God for guidance. God will ease your pain. In Jesus name

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My deepest condolences, James, to you and your family.

Just over a year now since master modeler Tom Piagari took that road out. His widow and family and friends still miss him greatly, as do I.

The last evening we were together, I asked him if he had looked into MDMA as treatment for depression (I'd mentioned it before), and he sighed and said it was still experimental and would have cost $3000 a treatment. I wish he could have tried it - maybe it would have helped, maybe not, but now we'll never know.

Edited by ChrisBcritter
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Iam so sorry for your loss.I find that there are a lot more people thinking about taking their own lives,and doing it.Back in 96,a friend of mine put a 9 mm in his mouth.His mother found him.Dam I miss him everyday.And it’s amazing how fast time goes by.Again very sorry to u and your family.

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Wow sorry to hear about your loss. I've been there before , but on the other side. As one who's tried a couple times and not succeeded the thoughts and pain at the time are really unimaginable. You are convinced that the journey you desire in unreachable . Not hard but impossible to reach . Not a good place to be in mentally trust me. It will be hard but you will get through this . Always remember you will see him and be with him again someday . Try not to be as sad about the loss, but celebrate the life that he had . All the good that I'm sure was in it. Celebrate the time that he had in this world ! I'm SURE that is what he would want, and hey remember that he's probably watching over you this very minute . Pm me if you would like to talk and God bless.

Ken

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