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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb?

One to hold the bulb, four to turn the ladder....

How many psychiatrist does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has to want to change.....

How many hillbillys does it take to change a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?

:D

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A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the engine of a Range Rover when he spotted a well-known heart surgeon in his shop.

The surgeon was there waiting for the service manager to come take a look at his Mercedes when the mechanic shouted across the garage: "Hey doc, can I ask you a question?"

The surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to where the mechanic was working on the Range Rover.

The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked: "So Doc, look at this engine. I open its heart, take the valves out, repair any damage, and then put them back in, and when I finish, it works just like new. So how come I get such a small salary and you get the really big money, when you and I are doing basically the same work?"

The surgeon paused, smiled and leaned over and whispered to the mechanic: "Try doing it with the engine running."

  • Haha 1
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A drunk staggered up to a motorist who had broken down.

' Washhsup?' The drunk asked.

'Piston broke.' said the motorist.

' Shhho am I.' Said the drunk!

Edited by Bugatti Fan
  • Haha 2
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Posted (edited)
On 2/21/2022 at 5:13 PM, NOBLNG said:

..."Try doing it with the engine running."

Funny, but in actuality it's a poor comparison.

Hearts are routinely stopped for valve-replacement surgery.

And an argument can be made that it should be quite possible to replace the valves in one head of a V-type (or other multiple-head) engine when it's running (with support equivalent to what a surgeon has), but why anyone would want to do it (maybe on a combat vessel at sea?) is a good question.

ALSO...when I was in composite aircraft repair, one client was an orthopedic surgeon. He was interested in understanding the processes involved in repairing the structure of a plane he'd be trusting his life to at up to 7 G.

After watching complex structural reconstructions requiring multiple, precise techniques and steps, his reaction was "you do pretty much exactly what I do, but in my case, all I have to do is get the parts stabilized in the right place, and they grow back together; you have to create and complete the "healing" of everything, from bone to skin".

Nice to be recognized by someone with intelligence that some of us do more than smear goo or bang on tools while we breathe through our mouths and drool. B)

Edited by Ace-Garageguy
TYPO
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  • 2 weeks later...
4 hours ago, BeakDoc said:

Never heard of the manufacturer, but, they do know their product. LOL.

34D190F6-B143-47F7-8905-CC45BE677169.jpeg

Check the back side of the packaging. Pretty sure this isn't made around here based on the way the warning is worded. 

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20 hours ago, espo said:

Check the back side of the packaging. Pretty sure this isn't made around here based on the way the warning is worded. 

The wording is why this is awesome though. You know, the fact that 10mm sockets disappear all the time. Ask any mechanic about the missing 10mm socket. They'll know. :)

 

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4 minutes ago, iamsuperdan said:

The wording is why this is awesome though. You know, the fact that 10mm sockets disappear all the time. Ask any mechanic about the missing 10mm socket. They'll know. :)

 

The 10mm problem is widespread even among do it yourselfers. I have lost more than a few open-end wrenches as well as sockets in the frame rails and other hard to reach places. I was just thinking of all of the products that I have looked at that are made offshore, and they have a bit of a language barrier. Words that we use often do not have a corresponding word in another language.    

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On 2/1/2022 at 10:25 PM, peteski said:

No comments?  I thought that there were plenty of older guys on this forum.   This would be a good car to model. Too bad the Pinto hatchback kits are so rare.

Well done. 

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19 minutes ago, Smoke Wagon said:

It’ll be just like Mad Max but with Geo Prisms, old Corollas, and moped scooters covered in spears.

Driven by LARPers wearing chain mail made from pop-tops, with scary-skulls finger-painted on leftover bat-flu masks, carrying their moms' leaf-blowers into battle.

Kinda like Seattle a while back.

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