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Advice (please)

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Posted · Report post

I'm sorry if I am posting this in the wrong spot, but I need advice. I got married about 10 months ago, and it seems to me that my wife doesn't want to help me out much and is rather dysfunctional, she rather chat with her friends online, or on the phone when I ask for help. Now since about Oct 2012 its gotten worst, she doesn't want to do very much round the house or spend time with me, all she wants to do is just sleep sleep and sleep. I can be talking to her and she just doses right off.. but yet she asks me why I don't spend time with her for. She gets mad when I tell her the truth about her ways. I know we have married men on this forum and I like to hear from those married people if they don't mind. I fill like my wife and my marriage is falling apart due to her.

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Posted (edited) · Report post

Pain medications and/or depression could be the cause. Good luck with this

Edited by JunkPile

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Posted · Report post

Since everything you said is heresay,

I'm curious what advice you think would be useful?

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Posted · Report post

Sorry Jim, Pat is no help for you today.

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Posted · Report post

I don't know that anyone here is qualified to give advice about a marriage, myself included, but if "all she wants to do is just sleep sleep and sleep. I can be talking to her and she just doses right off", I would suggest finding out why she can't stay awake first. That's not normal, and it sounds like she may be suffering from narcolepsy?: http://www.ninds.nih.gov/disorders/narcolepsy/detail_narcolepsy.htm

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Posted · Report post

Step #1, see a doctor

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Posted · Report post

What randy said, It could be many different things from depression to even yourself and how you relate to her.

We don't have an open door to your lives, we don't know you, so it is impossible to say more than seek professional help.

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Posted · Report post

it sounds like some form of depression and/or she is not getting a good nights sleep, good news both are treatable

(my wifes an RN so I hear about these symptoms)

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Posted · Report post

Oh please lock this thread. This could be a train wreck of epic proportions.

WE ARE NOT QUALIFIED TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTIONS.

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Posted (edited) · Report post

Places to go for help:

1) Doctor

2) Clergy

3) Dear Abby

4) Ann Landers

5) Not us Plastiholics

:mellow:

Edited by Danno

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Posted · Report post

I can't say anything that hasn't been said here already. I have a similar situation. My wife sleeps a LOT. She suffers from depression, among many other things. There's no guarantee your wife has the same problem, but I would suggest you talk with her and tell her your concerns and then ask her to see a doctor. Tread lightly though because if it is depression the wrong words could cause a downward spiral.

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Posted · Report post

Im agreeing with james !!!!

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Posted · Report post

I would say that while I don't think any of us here are licensed therapists (I might be wrong) or other psychological professionals, most of us have dealt with people, and many of us (not me, however), have dealt with marriage, which creates what I'll call experiential qualifications- i.e., The School of Life.

I taught for over ten years. In that time, I had to deal with everything from problems between other teachers, teachers and myself, other teachers and students and/or parents, students and parents, and every other imaginable configuration, in effect making me a default counselor as well as an instructor and disciplinarian.

I would venture to guess that your wife does have some depression. Now, whether that is caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain, circumstance, or a combination of those things, is another question, and can only be diagnosed with proper testing issued by a qualified counseling professional.

The question of sleep was also raised. If she's having sleep problems, that can, and will, exacerbate depression, regardless of its cause. If she seems to have trouble sleeping during "normal" sleep hours, particularly with breathing, she could have sleep apnea, which can be very dangerous. Your doctor or insurance company can refer you to a sleep lab. If you don't have a physician or insurance, a walk-in clinic in your area will maintain a list of sleep labs near you. The cost is moderate (around $300) but can be invaluable in finding what's wrong.

I do agree with the others, though, I would start with a qualified psychological counselor. This is a good place to start. http://www.papsy.org/index.php/psychologist-locator.html

If you're not comfortable with a counselor, a trusted friend who knows you both well or your pastor are good alternatives.

Whatever path of solution you decide to travel, Jim, I wish both of you well. Marriage can be a tough road to travel. I've seen a lot of my friends do it, and not always successfully, but, if you both make the effort to work through this, and remind her that you do love and support her, you'll probably be able to see it all through.

Charlie Larkin

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Posted · Report post

Step #1, see a doctor

I agree with Randy. I would speak to your doctor. If you and your wife share the same doctor he won't be able to say anything about your wife's health, but at least he may be able to give you some suggestion and could refer you to a counsellor.

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Posted · Report post

Jim,

Have her see a doctor and get a complete exam (physical and mental). There has to be an explanation to this change in behavior and I doubt anyone here can determine what is going on with her.

The best thing you can do is be supportive and see that she gets the help she needs so you two can build a life together.

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Posted · Report post

You didn't see any of this before you got married ? As others have pointed out we may be able to tell you how to chop a top or what primer to use but for the issues you describe you need a doctor. You won't find solutions on a model car forum. Good luck.

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Posted · Report post

Professional help for both of you; to find out what the problem(s) is/are, the cause(s) and how to deal with them. Good luck to you both.

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Posted · Report post

Oh please lock this thread. This could be a train wreck of epic proportions.

WE ARE NOT QUALIFIED TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTIONS.

I have to agree. This forum probably isn't the best place to find answers, but at least he has plenty of suggestions.

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