Stepping On Toes (not your feet either)

[MoparWoman Jamie]

How do you all fill on this stuff?

Edited June 15, 2013 by M0par Jim

[LDO]

What the bleep are you talking about?

[my80malibu]

I know I dont like my Toes stepped on, it can be quite painful. Thats my feeling anyway.

Edited June 15, 2013 by my80malibu

[Austin T]

I feel as if we are missing some information here. If were talking about physically stepping on toes that's kinda silly and childish, last thing a grown man wants to be seen doing is playing a game of "footsie". Or are we talking about the other one?Either way It's kinda rude.

Edited June 15, 2013 by Austin T

[MoparWoman Jamie]

Sorry, it's just right now I'm very upset, It's toes as in someone talking and talking to a person for afew weeks about doing something and getting ready and then out of the blue another party comes and steps in an does it.

[Harry P.]

Still.... huh?

[Guest]

I don't get it either.

[Jantrix]

A complete explanation is required if you want feedback on this. Without that info, I'm more inclined to say, "Man up. Life ain't fair, get over it."

[cobraman]

More input required. : )

[philo426]

Methinks a woman may be in the mix somewhere!

[cobraman]

Methinks a woman may be in the mix somewhere!

Ain't they always ? : )

[Harry P.]

Ain't they always ? : )

Not if you're a Tibetan monk.

[1930fordpickup]

Sorry, it's just right now I'm very upset, It's toes as in someone talking and talking to a person for afew weeks about doing something and getting ready and then out of the blue another party comes and steps in an does it.

Well, why did the person let someone do it if you were going to do it? Next time do not offer.

[southpier]

the old Alpha Dog rears his ugly head, again, eh?

[MoparWoman Jamie]

Okay let me shed some light on whats going on. My father-in-law became handy-cap about two months ago. My mother-in-law and my wife and I been talking for the last few weeks about things. I was asked to help my mother-in-law out by building a ramp going into her house. Well after she asked the family members for help they all was too busy. They couldn't do it they said. She waited a month before asking me and yet they all said they didn't have time to do it. Then after that she asked me and I said Okay to it and we talked. Now after all this time no one wanted to do it BUT all a sudden last Wednesday she tells her oldest daughter (that her husband didn't have time at all before or was too busy to even come up to visit) about me going to build the ramp this weekend. Low and behold out of the blues her husband all a sudden says he'll come up and build the ramp after me and her mother (her mom is also my mother-in-law (her mom has 3 daughters), 2nd daughter being my wife) had talked and her mom wanted me to build it, no one else had wanted to do it for the last month and a half and her mother waited and waited then I offered then all a sudden she heard from her mom knowing her mom had someone picked and ready to do it. Yet her and her husband out of the blues knowing her mom had someone going to do the job, the two comes up and does the job. I'm am totally tick at the two.

[slusher]

You really can't control what people say or do. At least you didn't have to do it and there will be other opportunities for you to help...

[MAGNUM4342]

All that should matter is that the man got the help he needed. Life is too short, move on and be happy it's covered.

[my80malibu]

Just let your Mother in law know that your willing to help, and leave it alone for now. Hopefully the ramp holds up,

[cobraman]

I doubt anyone was trying to "dis" you . The only important thing really is that the man got his ramp. IMO

[Danno]

"handy-cap?"

Why did it take you so long to get around to doing it?

Once you "talked about it" you should have done it.

Then no one else would have had a month and a half or even two weeks to steal your thunder.

Appears you set yourself up.

Besides, was it about helping, or was it about taking credit?

Edited June 16, 2013 by Danno

[ScaleDale]

Man (unfortunately)needed ramp. Man got ramp. The end.

OP: This isn't about you.

Dale

[Kris Morgan]

The dude got the ramp he needed. Does it matter how? Or, did you need to be able to say you did it? Let it go. Maybe your brother in-law felt bad and changed his mind. Maybe his plans changed and freed him up. No use in being upset here, be happy for your father in=law.

[MoparWoman Jamie]

You guys are right, what matters more is my father-in-law needed a ramp. He got a ramp he needed.

I guess I was just steamed was all due to how everyone treats my mother-in-law and it ticks me off. It just seems to me well how can I put this so you all can understand from my point of view. My mother-in-law has 3 daughters (3 son-in-laws too). One that lives two county's over (the oldest daughter) and can always go about 80 miles south to visit her dad yet her mom lives like 50 miles away and yet she won't go visit her hardly but can her dad though. Then there's the 2nd daughter which is my wife and we live 8 miles away, and then theirs the youngest daughter that lives probably about 80 miles away down in the next county as well and she treats her mom like BLAH_BLAH_BLAH_BLAH and doesn't care to much. The only one that really cares is my wife and me. My mother-in-law might have neighbors which is also family, but all they want to do is charge her all the time for everything and I do mean everything! But yet they help everyone else out for nothing. My mother-in-law asked them also and they wanted $$$ double for the lumber even though they had it and on top wanted to charge her as well for building the ramp too when they live like 50 feet away. But yet when someone is there helping my mother-in-law out they come over to see what is going on and talk and talk. My mother-in-law always ask family for help and they always have something to do or wants to charge her double.. I always told her if she can't find anyone willing to help her out or if she needs help don't be afraid to ask me. It seems to me everyone in the family don't want to do anything for her until I wait and speak up and then they want to do it when the hear I spoke up or my wife did, we always give everyone in the family a chance as we always ask if anyone else is doing it or not and if not then we speak up. I know it also makes my mother-in-law upset they do this to her as well. But like you all said, the main thing is my father-in-law got his ramp he needed and I'm very glad he did so now when he gets out he can come home, I don't care if he's in a wheel chair and is handy-cap, I still love him as my father-in-law.

[James2]

Seems to me you got the job done without lifting a tool! All it took was tricking them into doing it...

[Tom Geiger]

Hey Jim, everyone has issues with family. Back in the day I'd always offer to help my father in law. He was a nice man, eventually handicapped and in a wheel chair and I'd do anything for him. I didn't have my brother in laws trying to do the work because none of them are handy enough to do a project. There would be jobs I'd offer to do, I'd show up on Saturday with the tools and material to find out he hired a professional during the week. He'd say he didn't want to bother me, but I think he was just impatient and wanted it done that day. It would tick me off to no end because he'd spend money he didn't have and get crummy results. Like the 'professional' who wallpapered a room for him and didn't match the pattern anywhere! Argh!

So who knows... maybe you do so much for your inlaws since you are close, your mother in law felt that one of the others could pitch in this time. Or the guy said he didn't have time, then his wife leaned on him that he was going to do this for her father!

In the end, if these folks were friends you may never call them again. But they are family and you'll be knowing them a long time, so you just got to forget it to get along!