sjordan2 Posted June 3, 2014 Share Posted June 3, 2014 "Is anyone onboard a pilot?" http://www.cnn.com/2014/06/03/travel/737-emergency-pilot/index.html?hpt=hp_t2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HomerS Posted June 3, 2014 Share Posted June 3, 2014 I was in the KHL terminal of the Detroit airport when they came on the speaker asking for volunteers to be bumped as the flight to England was overbooked and overweight! Say whaaaaatttt??? I had to call the wife and waited for the announcement to repeat as I wanted a witness to this one. If I was to be on that plane, I would have preferred just knowing 'overbooked'....didn't need to know the second part of that announcement! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deano Posted June 3, 2014 Share Posted June 3, 2014 "That sound you heard was not the engine falling off." "The engine is not on fire." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danno Posted June 3, 2014 Share Posted June 3, 2014 "We will be diverting to . . . " Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thatz4u Posted June 3, 2014 Share Posted June 3, 2014 "Hope the plane don't crash" (pilot to co-pilot) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harry P. Posted June 3, 2014 Share Posted June 3, 2014 "Is anyone onboard a pilot?" Does anyone on board speak Jive? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scalper Posted June 3, 2014 Share Posted June 3, 2014 Does anyone on board speak Jive? Oh man. I love that movie I have a drinking problem . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danno Posted June 3, 2014 Share Posted June 3, 2014 (edited) Actual announcement: "Pay no attention to the ambulances and fire trucks lining the runway. They're not here for us. Prepare for a bit of a bump when we land." PS: Yes, they were there for us! Edited June 3, 2014 by Danno Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ace-Garageguy Posted June 3, 2014 Share Posted June 3, 2014 (edited) Ladies and gentlemen, in order to compensate for the rising cost of fuel (so we can continue to pay our CEO's multi-million dollar a year salary, even though he doesn't actually even know how planes fly) we've out-sourced our maintenance to the lowest bidder. Relax and enjoy your flight !!! Edited June 3, 2014 by Ace-Garageguy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ace-Garageguy Posted June 4, 2014 Share Posted June 4, 2014 Does anyone on board speak Jive? Wow. The Cleavered beaver. A babe in '57. I wonder if she was into manufacturing... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Agent G Posted June 4, 2014 Share Posted June 4, 2014 (edited) "Oh $#!*" Said by an Air Force crew chief whilst aboard a C-130 travelling from MCB 29 Palms, California to Camp LeJeune, North Carolina. As said phrase was spoken by said crew chief it became apparent that the unusual stains on his flight suit were hydraulic in nature. U turn commenced immediately and we landed at Nellis AFB in the heart of Las Vegas NV. Trouble was we had just spent three weeks in the desert without seeing mainside, and we were armed......... G Edited June 4, 2014 by Agent G Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
martinfan5 Posted June 4, 2014 Share Posted June 4, 2014 (edited) Please enjoy your non stop Intl flight , we will arrive at our destination in about 16 hours , drinks will be coming your way soon. Oh, and all the toilets are backed up and not working . Edited June 4, 2014 by martinfan5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slusher Posted June 4, 2014 Share Posted June 4, 2014 Is there a doctor on board. He is needed in the cockpit.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Custom Hearse Posted June 4, 2014 Share Posted June 4, 2014 Does anyone on board speak Jive? And don't call me Shirley! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Custom Hearse Posted June 4, 2014 Share Posted June 4, 2014 An airplane was flying from L.A. to Hawaii when the pilot announced that they were gonna have to make a crash landing in the ocean. The pilot brought the plane down to water level and skimmed across until the plane came to a stop. The pilot got on the intercom and asked that the non-swimmers go to the left side of the plane, and the swimmers go to the right. Everyone seperated as the pilot instructed. The pilot came on again and announced, "swimmers, you have 1200 miles to go to get to Hawaii", "non-swimers, thank you for flying PSA"... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mikemodeler Posted June 4, 2014 Share Posted June 4, 2014 "Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harry P. Posted June 5, 2014 Share Posted June 5, 2014 Wow. The Cleavered beaver. A babe in '57. I wonder if she was into manufacturing... Ditto on the "babe in '57." And Ward must have been a happy camper.... June wore a pearl necklace all the time... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Agent G Posted June 5, 2014 Share Posted June 5, 2014 ^ oh baby ^ G Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kitbash1 Posted June 5, 2014 Share Posted June 5, 2014 (edited) My dad told me this. On the the trip back from a bombing mission to Berlin, this came through his headset, hey skipper, we still got one hung-up in the bomb-bay. Are you ( insert swear words here ) me my old man shot back. That's a positive skip, a 500 pounder and it's hot ! It fell out an hour or so later as they flew back to England with the bomb-bay doors open. Edited June 5, 2014 by kitbash1 swearing Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom Geiger Posted June 5, 2014 Share Posted June 5, 2014 Wow. The Cleavered beaver. A babe in '57. I wonder if she was into manufacturing... "What's that gnawing sound out in the driveway Ward?" "Don't worry June, that's just our new 1960 Plymouth rusting." There's a new nostalgic tv show channel here in Philly. I've been taping the Beav' and some of the old cop shows. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom Geiger Posted June 5, 2014 Share Posted June 5, 2014 "Is anyone on board a pilot?" As long as the second announcement isn't, "Okay then... can anyone on board fly a plane on X-Box?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johnag4004 Posted June 5, 2014 Share Posted June 5, 2014 "It's time to sit on your body armour and put your helmets on, lights going out in 10 seconds, expect small arms fire"... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Agent G Posted June 5, 2014 Share Posted June 5, 2014 "It's time to sit on your body armour and put your helmets on, lights going out in 10 seconds, expect small arms fire"... I know that one too. G Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Handley Posted June 7, 2014 Share Posted June 7, 2014 (edited) As long as the second announcement isn't, "Okay then... can anyone on board fly a plane on X-Box?" Eh, so long as they didn't try to aerobatics in a 777, I wouldn't be tooooo uncomfortable with that, same with R/C pilots. Edited June 7, 2014 by Joe Handley Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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