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mnwildpunk

some corny jokes

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An old man who lived alone wanted to hoe his potato garden, but the work was getting too hard for his aging body. His only son used to help, but had gotten into trouble and was now in prison. The old man wrote to his son.

"Dear Son, It looks like I won't be able to plant my potato garden this year; I'm getting too old to be digging. If you were here, I know you would help hoe the plot for me. Love, Dad."

A few days later, he received a letter from his son: "Dear Dad, For Heaven's sake, don't dig up the garden! That's were I buried the guns!"

At 4 A.M. the next day, a dozen FBI agents and local police showed up and dug up the area. They didn't find any guns, so they apologized and left.

The same day, the old man received another letter: "Dear Dad, Go ahead and plant the potatoes now. It was the best I could do under the circumstances."

Scott

Edited by unclescott58

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An old man who lived alone wanted to hoe his potato garden, but the work was getting too hard for his aging body. His only son used to help, but had gotten into trouble and was now in prison. The old man wrote to his son.

"Dear Son, It looks like I won't be able to plant my potato garden this year; I'm getting too old to be digging. If you were here, I know you would help hoe the plot for me. Love, Dad."

A few days later, he received a letter from his son: "Dear Dad, For Heaven's sake, don't dig up the garden! That's were I buried the guns!"

At 4 A.M. the next day, a dozen FBI agents and local police showed up and dug up the area. They didn't find any guns, so they apologized and left.

The same day, the old man received another letter: "Dear Dad, Go ahead and plant the potatoes now. It was the best I could do under the circumstances."

Scott

heard this before a bit different but still funny Edited by mnwildpunk

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heard this before a bit different but still funny

Hey, none of my jokes are original, made up by me. But, I'm glad you still like it.

Which reminds me, a couple of months ago I'm working with some 3rd graders that I work with from time to time (and I should be working with them again, a week from this coming Friday). At lunch, a kid at one table turns to me, telling me that another kid at their table is telling my jokes. Stealing them from me! I said, "It's okay. I didn't invent the jokes." And I told them that "I had hoped that they not only thought them funny, but would share them with others. That's part of fun of telling jokes."

So if your looking for original jokes from me. Forget it. I'm not that talented. I may have a good original funny story from time to time. But as far as I know, I have never come up with a good original joke in my entire life. And that's okay. So expect more oldies, but goodies (we hope) from me in the future.

In fact here is another one: I once heard of a songwriter who tried to compose a drinking song. But he could never get past the first three bars.

Scott

Edited by unclescott58

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Lol speaking of kids mine got in trouble in school for telling an adult joke he overheard his mother tell on the phone

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Lol speaking of kids mine got in trouble in school for telling an adult joke he overheard his mother tell on the phone

Yea, you've got to watch out for that. All my "school" jokes are G rated. PG at the worst. Even with the high school kids.

Scott

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Everyone out of bad jokes

What do you call a dog with wings?

Linda McCartney.

Chevrolet: Constantly Having Every Vehicle Recalled Over Lousy Engineering Techniques

Edited by chunkypeanutbutter

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So ... this seal walks into a club.

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Ouch!

Made up, I assume, by my daughter for a 'Bad Joke Contest' in her 6th Grade English class.

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What do you call a dog with wings?

Linda McCartney.

Chevrolet: Constantly Having Every Vehicle Recalled Over Lousy Engineering Techniques

oh ouch

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Was talking with a co-worker today about the fact that she grew up in Hibbing, MN. The home town of Bob Dylan, and were they mine a lot of iron ore. A area referred to by most Minnesotans as the "Iron Range." So I said to her, "Oh your one of those Iron Strangers (rather than the "normal" Iron Ranger). She said, "Yup. But now I'm De-Ranged. I had never heard that one before. Man, I kind of wish I was from the Range, so I could use that joke.

Scott

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You know my parent's were in the iron and steel business. My mom ironed and my dad steals

Edited by mnwildpunk

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A guy brings his dog into a talent agent's office.

"My dog is amazing! He can speak English!"

"Yeah, right," replies the talent agent. Let's see him talk."

"What's on top of a house?" the guy asks his dog.

"Roof!" replies the dog.

The talent agent rolls his eyes, "Come on, you expect me to believe that was your dog speaking English?"

"Ok, ok." replies the guy. Watch this. "What does sandpaper feel like?". he asks the dog.

"Ruff!" replies the dog.

The talent agent is getting exasperated. "Look, pal, you're wasting my time! Either prove to me that your dog can actually speak, or get outta my office!"

"Ok, this will prove he can really speak," the guy replies and looks at the dog. "Who do you think was the greatest baseball player who ever lived?," he asks the dog.

"Rooth!" replies the dog.

The talent agent is now very angry. "That's it! Take your 'talking' dog and hit the bricks! Get lost!"

Sadly, the guy and his dog leave the office and are walking down the street towards home when the dog suddenly stops and looks at the guy.

"Do you think maybe I should have said DiMaggio?," asks the dog...

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Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's drive for intimacy by 90%,...It's called a Wedding Cake.

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