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mnwildpunk

some corny jokes

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Oh I 100% agree. There would be such a discrepancy about what is considered inappropriate, that it would be a trainwreck within 5 posts.

Have to keep this one as it is.

:)

 

 

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2 hours ago, iamsuperdan said:

Oh I 100% agree. There would be such a discrepancy about what is considered inappropriate, that it would be a trainwreck within 5 posts.

Have to keep this one as it is.

:)

 

 

I'm confused? Where's the joke here? 

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Here is an example:

What did the pirate say on his eightieth birthday?

"Aye Matey." 

Yea it's a bad pun. But, at least I'm trying to keep with the sprit of the thread. 

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23 hours ago, iamsuperdan said:

I wish we could tell some slightly inappropriate jokes. I have an awesome joke about a penguin.

 :P

And you are one of the moderators here!  LOL!

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I went to a plastic surgery group last night.

It was nice to see so many new faces.

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11 hours ago, peteski said:

And you are one of the moderators here!  LOL!

Yeah, I may be a mod, but I have a skewed sense of humour. The difference is, I know where I can let loose, and where I need to toe the line. :)

And my humour is generally not for everyone.

 

 

I was wondering why there are so many stories about vampires set in Europe, but not in Africa. Then I realized that vampires are killed by holy water, and they bless the rains down in Africa.

 

 

Did you know you can distinguish an alligator from a crocodile by paying attention to whether the reptile sees you later or in a while? 

 

 

 

 

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3 hours ago, iamsuperdan said:

Did you know you can distinguish an alligator from a crocodile by paying attention to whether the reptile sees you later or in a while? 

 

 

 

 

Ok, now that's pretty corny. That song is by Bill Haley isn't it?

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What a bunch of groaners!   You guys just further prove that there is a "P - U" in every pun.

:D

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What's black & white, black & white, black & white, black & white?

a penguin rolling down a hill.......

What's black, white and red all over?

a newspaper.....

What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino?

elephino.....

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a man walked into an antique shop, looked around & said "what's new?"

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These are called Dad jokes in popular parlance. Sometimes I wonder if they didn't get that just a wee bit wrong. . . .  It makes things difficult sometimes, but I have to confess that I too, have a twisted sense of humor. I have to stifle myself a lot. 

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I decided to make sure my wife woke up today with a big smile on her face.

Now I'm not allowed to have sharpies in the house anymore.

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A kid was upset that his baseball coach yelled whenever he or a teammate made a mistake. "It's just something coaches do," his mother told him. "It's not personal." 

His response was hard to argue with: "If it's not personal, then why do they use your name?" 

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One last joke. Since I seem to be the only one here enjoying these, I will quit torturing the rest of you after this last one. 

This a timely joke. A very old one. And I originally heard it back in either the 1st or 2nd grade. I still like it. 

 

April flowers bring May flowers. What do May flowers bring? 

Pilgrims.  

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I'll add one Scott. Why do cows have bells? Because their horns don't work.

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8 hours ago, bamadon said:

I'll add one Scott. Why do cows have bells? Because their horns don't work.

Very good. Thank you. 

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What did the Mama cow say to the little cows that stayed up too late ?

 

" Isn't it pasture bed time ? "

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