mnwildpunk Posted October 30, 2014 Author Posted October 30, 2014 I was thinking of dressing up as the invisible man for Halloween, but I can't find the costume... I just tried this joke on my wife ya she didn't think it was funny
Custom Hearse Posted October 30, 2014 Posted October 30, 2014 Did you try it while you were naked? She might have liked it then...
mnwildpunk Posted October 30, 2014 Author Posted October 30, 2014 Yes that's why she didn't think it was funny I think lol
unclescott58 Posted October 31, 2014 Posted October 31, 2014 (edited) I can't remeber if I've told this one before or not. I don't think I did. A doctor reaches behind his ear to grab his pen to write out prescription. Instead of a pen, he comes up with a recital thermometer. He looks at it and says, "Dam* some a**holes got my pen." Scott Edited October 31, 2014 by unclescott58
unclescott58 Posted November 1, 2014 Posted November 1, 2014 Why is Halloween a hillbillies favorite holiday? It's the one night when it's okay to pumpkin. Scott
mnwildpunk Posted November 1, 2014 Author Posted November 1, 2014 So scott got a lil racey I will too why could the wizard not get the witch pregnant? Because he had a Halloweenie
Custom Hearse Posted November 1, 2014 Posted November 1, 2014 Okay... I'm starting to worry about you two... Is the cold gettin' to ya both?
mnwildpunk Posted November 2, 2014 Author Posted November 2, 2014 Honestly YES NO TRUE FALSE IT WASN'T IN THE QUESTION
unclescott58 Posted November 2, 2014 Posted November 2, 2014 Okay... I'm starting to worry about you two... Is the cold gettin' to ya both? YES! Scott
unclescott58 Posted November 3, 2014 Posted November 3, 2014 What time did the dentist make your appointment for? Tooth hurty. Scott
mnwildpunk Posted November 3, 2014 Author Posted November 3, 2014 How do you make a handkerchief dance? Put a lil boogie in it
Custom Hearse Posted November 3, 2014 Posted November 3, 2014 (edited) I have the number of a really good psychologist that will talk to you Dave and Scott... Oh who am I kidding! after those last 2 jokes, you're both a lost cause!!! :lol: Edited November 3, 2014 by Custom Hearse
Custom Hearse Posted November 4, 2014 Posted November 4, 2014 A woman went to her doctor's office. She was seen by one of the new doctors, but after about 4 minutes in the examination room, she burst out screaming and ran down the hall. An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was, and she explained. He had her sit down and relax in another room. The older doctor marched back to the first and demanded. "What's the matter with you? Mrs. Terry is 63 years old, she has four grown children and seven grandchildren, and you told her she was pregnant?" The new doctor smiled smugly as he continued to write on his clipboard. "Cured her hiccups though, didn't it?"
Harry P. Posted November 4, 2014 Posted November 4, 2014 Two carpenters were re-siding a house with cedar shingles. One carpenter would pull a nail out of his pouch, look at it, then either use it to nail in the shingle or he'd toss it on the ground. After watching the first carpenter for a while, the second carpenter asks, "Why are you throwing out half your nails?" "Because they're defective," answers the first carpenter. "If I pull a nail out and the pointed end is pointing towards the house, I use it. If the pointed end is pointing at me, then obviously the nail is defective and I can't use it!" The second carpenter rolls his eyes. "You idiot! Those nails aren't defective! They're for the other side of the house!"
Harry P. Posted November 4, 2014 Posted November 4, 2014 *GROAN*... Harry, Harry, Harry... The topic title is corny jokes, after all...
Custom Hearse Posted November 4, 2014 Posted November 4, 2014 (edited) Yes Harry... Yes it is... But did you have to hit rock bottom, and then dig a little deeper to prove you can find the most cornball jokes? Edited November 4, 2014 by Custom Hearse
chunkypeanutbutter Posted November 4, 2014 Posted November 4, 2014 Two pieces of string are walking down a street at night. They see a bar and try to go in The doorman stops them: "We don't allow little pieces of string in here." They then go around the corner, tie themselves together, and rustle up their hair. They then go back and the doorman says: "Hey! Aren't you guys pieces of string?" They say, "No, I'm a frayed knot."
unclescott58 Posted November 5, 2014 Posted November 5, 2014 I like Harry's last joke. I guess it does prove there is no help for me, after all. Scott
chunkypeanutbutter Posted November 5, 2014 Posted November 5, 2014 (edited) Two Nazis walk into a BAR. Edited November 5, 2014 by chunkypeanutbutter
unclescott58 Posted November 5, 2014 Posted November 5, 2014 Two Nazis walk into a BAR. I don't get this one at all?
chunkypeanutbutter Posted November 5, 2014 Posted November 5, 2014 Browning Automatic Rifle. Preferred by many an American soldier in WWII. Abbreviation for Browning Automatic Rifle = BAR
mnwildpunk Posted November 5, 2014 Author Posted November 5, 2014 I got it only cuz I was in the army I guess
unclescott58 Posted November 5, 2014 Posted November 5, 2014 Browning Automatic Rifle. Preferred by many an American soldier in WWII. Abbreviation for Browning Automatic Rifle = BAR Okay. It becomes a fair joke now that you've explained it. Scott
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