A Christmas Tale

[Chuck Most]

It was the evening of December 24th, and Santa was preparing for the long, long night he'd be facing. Things hadn't been going well. The elves had been on strike demanding better working conditions, ever since Herbie had gotten a couple of teeth knocked out when a defective saw kicked back on him. The resulting lawsuit played havoc with Santa's finances, as did the temporary workers he'd needed to hire when the elves went on strike.

Santa went out to his stable to check on his sleigh and reindeer. To his dismay, he noticed one of the runners on the sleigh was damaged- possibly from last week, when his cousin Sam had backed into it with his pickup in a drunken stupor. "Fantastic!" Santa shouted. Since his sleigh mechanics were elves, they too were on strike, so Santa would need to fix his ride on his own. He made his way to the tool shed, when Rudolph stopped him.

"Hey, uh.... Santa?" Rudolph asked.

"What is it?" Santa shot back.

"I won't be able to make the trip tonight."

"Why not?" Santa asked.

"Well, you know I've been having sinus trouble the last few months, and the baby is on the way. Clarice is labor right now- I can't really miss the birth of my firstborn, can I?"

"Ho,ho, ho!" Santa shouted back sarcastically. "Of course not! Just leave me hangin' like those friggin' elves!"

With that, Santa stormed off to the tool shed for his lug wrench and jack.

Santa returned to the sleigh, and after spending fifteen minutes on the repair and accomplishing nothing but ripping open his knuckles and dropping the sleigh on his foot, decided maybe it was best to just go to the house, grab a hot cup of coffee, and rent a sleigh from Avis.

Santa went back into the house, and went to the coffee pot, only so see it still full of yesterday's burned old coffee. The domestic chores of the house had been in disarray ever since Mrs. Clause had left in July and run off with that Canadian trucker. Santa picked up the coffee pot, fumbled with his frozen, bleeding fingers, and dropped the pot, which shattered into a thousand pieces on the floor.

Santa shouted a long string of expletives as he went looking for the broom and dustpan. He'd just finished up when the doorbell rang.

"What?" he shouted as he stormed toward the door."What is it now!?"

He opened the door and there in front of him was a gigantic- ten foot tall Christmas tree, fully trimmed out in lights, ornaments, and a bright silver garland. ANd next to this giant tree there was a tiny, six-inch tall angel.

"Oh, hello Santa!" The angel said Cheerfully! "Isn't it a lovely Christmas?"

"What's so lovely about it?" Santa grumbled.

"It's Christmas Santa!" The angel replied. "A time for love, and cheer, and happiness!"

The angel's cheerful demeanor was starting to get on Santa's nerves, considering his mood. He was reminded of some of those overly-friendly bank tellers he'd endcountered in his previous job. Santa got ready to slam the door, when the angel said:

"I have this lovely, beautifully decorated tree just for you! All you have to do is put it where you want it!"

"Put it where I want it, huh." Santa said. "You bet- I'll put that tree EXACTLY where I want it!"

Santa lunged out the door, grabbed the angel, then grabbed the tree, and proceeded to put the tree where he wanted it.

And now you know how the tradition of the tiny little angel on top of the giant Christmas tree got started!

[charlie8575]

B) B) :lol: :lol:

TOO MUCH!

And a Merry Bah-Humbug to you, too!

Thanks for a smile, Chuck, seriously. I needed it.

Charlie Larkin