Wayne Buck Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 "That fart smells so bad, it would make a maggot puke" - one of my bosses back in the day.. dunno where he got it from Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CAL Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 John Force after his 92 Memphis crash "I just saw him" "You saw God?" someone asked "God? No, the King. I saw Elvis at 1000 feet!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darin Bastedo Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 "It's the sort of thing you'ld be into, if your into that sort of thing" - My Father Harry Bastedo "Man is king of his castle and pedestrians have the right of way, but both can get killed trying yo prove it" - My Father Harry Bastedo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
my name is nobody Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 "Take No Prisoners". - Lt.Col. George A. Custer. June 25 1876. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Sprinter Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 We are the only spieces of animal, on earth, that protects it's idiots.(me) I came home last night and all my furniture was stolen and replaced with an exact replica (Steven Wright} If you win tonight's feature race with a lunch box bolted to the hood; next week half the field will have a lunch box mounted to theirs (my Dad) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dragline Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 "I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it by not dying"....Woody Allen Bob Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darin Bastedo Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 Lady Nancy Astor to Winston Churchill: "Winston, if you were my husband, I'd poison your tea. Winstin Churchill to Lady Nancy Astor: Nancy, if I were your husband, I'd drink it.” Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dragline Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 From my vault.... "He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr "He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Winston Churchill "A modest little person, with much to be modest about." - Winston Churchill "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." - Clarence Darrow "He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway). "Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?" - Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner) "Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." - Moses Hadas "He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know." - Abraham Lincoln "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain "He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." - Oscar Wilde "I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend.... if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill "Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one." - Winston Churchill, in response. "I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." - Stephen Bishop "He is a self-made man and worships his creator."- John Bright "I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." - Irvin S. Cobb "He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others." - Samuel Johnson "He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul Keating "There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure." Jack E. Leonard "He has the attention span of a lightning bolt." - Robert Redford (one flash & it's gone. ha) "They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge." - Thomas Brackett Reed "In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." - Charles, Count Talleyrand "He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." - Forrest Tucker "Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" - Mark Twain "His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." - Mae West "Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." - Oscar Wilde "He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination." - Andrew Lang (1844-1912) "He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder Bob Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
von Zipper Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 "I want my money back !!"-- Danny Bonaduce Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ben Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 Take me drunk....I'm home...... Knock the flies off a New York city dumpster from 50 yards......... That reminds me of "What seems to be the officer, problem??" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keef Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 That reminds me of "What seems to be the officer, problem??" which reminds me of "Occifer I swear to Drunk I'm not God""Let those who dont want none, have fond memories of not getting any" ~ my Dad Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FASTBACK340 Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 I remember seeing this either on a sigh or bumper sticker while visiting friends in Pennsylvania last summer: "If you didn't know how old you were, how old would you act?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Modelmartin Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 Nigel Tufnel: The numbers all go to eleven. Look, right across the board, eleven, eleven, eleven and... Marty DiBergi: Oh, I see. And most amps go up to ten? Nigel Tufnel: Exactly. Marty DiBergi: Does that mean it's louder? Is it any louder? Nigel Tufnel: Well, it's one louder, isn't it? It's not ten. You see, most blokes, you know, will be playing at ten. You're on ten here, all the way up, all the way up, all the way up, you're on ten on your guitar. Where can you go from there? Where? Marty DiBergi: I don't know. Nigel Tufnel: Nowhere. Exactly. What we do is, if we need that extra push over the cliff, you know what we do? Marty DiBergi: Put it up to eleven. Nigel Tufnel: Eleven. Exactly. One louder. Marty DiBergi: Why don't you just make ten louder and make ten be the top number and make that a little louder? Nigel Tufnel: [pause] These go to eleven. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nitrozilla Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 "Never put off 'till tomorrow what you can do day after tomorrow just as well." - Mark Twain (or was it Sam Clemmons? I forgot.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bbowser Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 "We're all just monkeys with car keys." - George Carlin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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