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chevyfever2009

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Posts posted by chevyfever2009

  1. Cop: "Did you kill this man?"

    Me: "No, a bullet killed him. Bullets are made of lead, which comes from the ground. The ground is part of nature. He died of natural causes. Case closed."

    Boy: *calls 911* Hello? I need your help!

    911: Alright, What is it?

    Boy: Two girls are fighting over me!

    911: So what's your emergency?

    Boy: The ugly one is winning.

  2. If a married couple in Virginia get divorced, are they still cousins?

    Snooki is so short and orange that she works part time as a traffic cone.

    Baby, baby, baby ooh!

    Mom: *walks in* Are you listening to Justin Bieber?

    Daughter: No, I'm watching porn.

    Mom: Oh, thank goodness.

  3. Being married is great, especially when your wife looks like your favorite country star. To make it even better, my friends wife looks like his favorite country star too. But one day the got into a cat fight at the mall and some one yells "BLAH_BLAH_BLAH_BLAH, Toby Keith is kicking Willie nelsons ass".

  4. You might be a redneck if your daughter's sweet sixteen is sponsored by Budweiser.

    MAN: I'm so sorry the marriage didn't work out.WOMAN: It's okay, we can still be cousins

    .You might be a redneck if 5th grade was the best 6 years of your life.

  5. “The difference between the impossible and the possible lies in a person's determination.“

    Thomas Tommy Lasorda (born 1927);

    “Trust yourself. Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life. Make the most of yourself by fanning the tiny, inner sparks of possibility into flames of achievement.“

    Golda Meir (1898-1978);

    “Open the doors of opportunity to talent and virtue and they will do themselves justice.“

    Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882);

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