You make several good points.
I confess, when it comes to policing the forum I have a bit of a laid-back attitude... sort of "live and let live." And I realize that sometimes I may have been TOO laid back and let some things slide that, while they don't bother me personally, I should have realized may bother other members–or just be inappropriate for this forum in general. My bad, as they say.
It's always a judgement call as to what to leave alone and what to clamp down on. My personal style is to moderate as little as possible. I really hate to be coming down on people and to lock/delete stuff unless it's really way out of line. But I do respond to people when they PM me... I always check out what their complaint is, and I do take action if I think there's a real problem. The fact that Pat is also now moderating is a good thing, as it's always good to have another pair of eyes keeping tabs on what goes on here. I can't be here 24/7 and neither can Pat... but between the two of us we can be here at least for a good part of the time.
I guess the bottom line is, we moderate this place to the best of our ability. You guys have to realize that we don't have super powers... and the decision whether to "moderate" a given post is always subjective. It's not a science, it's a matter of opinion.