ericmaxman Posted September 30, 2008 Posted September 30, 2008 Gee~ My mom keeps complaining about my hobby. She calls me names. ######. She says that she would prefer that I go for more outdoor activities. The worst part is that she keep blaming my dad for introducing me to this hobby. What's wrong if I do something I like? I really hate her for that bossy attitude. Seriously. Come on, I go out walking once in a while, cycling as well. What else would she want me to do? Fishing? It has been years since I last fished. Not to say I don't want, but it is just that I can't find the time to go out. Not caught up with modeling, but rather helping with the chores at home etc. Her narrowminded-ness really pisses my whole family off.
crispy Posted September 30, 2008 Posted September 30, 2008 At least you're at home building. A fun clean hobby. That's better than buying and using drugs, drinking and other illicit activities. When you finish a model you have something to show for it. When you do drugs what have you got to show for it? I don't know how old you are but maybe you can sit down with her and talk it over and both of you can come to a mutual agreement of some sorts. Don't let her discourage you. Chris
RodneyBad Posted September 30, 2008 Posted September 30, 2008 Naaa, Just take it in strides. I think most parents are like that if ya don't get out enough. I know mine were. They thought I'd grow out of it. LOL.. I think building models helps focus attention and creates an expression of creativity. Also helps keep one out of trouble. Get's you involved in group activities Meet other like minded people. You could have picked a worse hobbie that would only get ya into trouble. You have some good skills. Your Subaru and Magnum wagon are really good. Those are my thoughts.
Spike Posted September 30, 2008 Posted September 30, 2008 just keep building. my parents are pissed cuz i keep buyin models and accesorys. and my dad keeps sayin im told old to be building models and i already told em at least im not out partyin and getin in trouble
ericmaxman Posted September 30, 2008 Author Posted September 30, 2008 I agree with what you guys said. Each and every word. Yeah, my mom can say all she wants, but I ain't changing my mind. I like modeling, she doesn't. I know her background is not very good, and maybe, just maybe she does not like this expensive hobby...
Billy Kingsley Posted September 30, 2008 Posted September 30, 2008 While I am not familiar with Malysian laws (sorry if I spelled the name of your home country wrong) I am going to guess that you are on the younger side. Here in the US you can do pretty much whatever you want once you reach 18 years of age. Explain to your mom that you could be A) spend your money on drugs and alcohol, or join a gang. I am absolutley SURE your mother would not want that. Also, building models is good for your hand-eye co-ordination. Explain to her that in working with the parts you do, could help you in a future career. Perhaps there is a hobby shop you could walk to? It should be a good compromise-you do more walking and exercize, and you get to see what's new and perhaps bring home a new kit or two to build. This would of cource require you to have a local shop and not be forced to mail order like so many builders are. I think it might be possible that she is worried about fumes-perhaps you should spray paint outside, if you don't already. This also leaves very little chance of paint getting on her carpet, walls or anywhere else, plus, the repeated trips outside has to count for something. Have you thought about asking her to build one with you? She may not understand how much joy it brings you and perhaps doesn't even understand all the work and effort you put into it-perhaps building one with her could change that. I hesitate to say this, but you might want to keep track of your models. I've read far too many stories where builder's parents have tossed their models in the garbage on the first chance they got (seemingly), and most of the stories are prefaced with tales of their parents thinking it was a waste of time and money. To Spike, tell your dad that this is a lifelong hobby-there are members here into their 70s! Also let him know that some modelers sell models to people and get well into the triple digits for each one. As for myself, I am lucky in that my mom is totally supportive-it was actually her idea for me to start building in the first place! (I was 15 at the time)
ericmaxman Posted September 30, 2008 Author Posted September 30, 2008 Reveal hidden contents Billy Kingsley said: While I am not familiar with Malysian laws (sorry if I spelled the name of your home country wrong) I am going to guess that you are on the younger side. Here in the US you can do pretty much whatever you want once you reach 18 years of age. Explain to your mom that you could be A) spend your money on drugs and alcohol, or join a gang. I am absolutley SURE your mother would not want that. Also, building models is good for your hand-eye co-ordination. Explain to her that in working with the parts you do, could help you in a future career. Perhaps there is a hobby shop you could walk to? It should be a good compromise-you do more walking and exercize, and you get to see what's new and perhaps bring home a new kit or two to build. This would of cource require you to have a local shop and not be forced to mail order like so many builders are. I think it might be possible that she is worried about fumes-perhaps you should spray paint outside, if you don't already. This also leaves very little chance of paint getting on her carpet, walls or anywhere else, plus, the repeated trips outside has to count for something. Have you thought about asking her to build one with you? She may not understand how much joy it brings you and perhaps doesn't even understand all the work and effort you put into it-perhaps building one with her could change that. I hesitate to say this, but you might want to keep track of your models. I've read far too many stories where builder's parents have tossed their models in the garbage on the first chance they got (seemingly), and most of the stories are prefaced with tales of their parents thinking it was a waste of time and money. To Spike, tell your dad that this is a lifelong hobby-there are members here into their 70s! Also let him know that some modelers sell models to people and get well into the triple digits for each one. As for myself, I am lucky in that my mom is totally supportive-it was actually her idea for me to start building in the first place! (I was 15 at the time) Hmm. On my side, I will only get my total freedom at 21 years old. 3 more years to go. To be honest, the only reason why she does not like me doing model cars is because of my dad. To her, anything that goes wrong is because of him. She does not like the way he does stuff. Not to say that he does it wrong, but more of she wants it her way. Very immature, yes. I won't dismiss that she will throw my model cars away, as she has thrown some of my car and computer magazines before. Even my dad says that she does not respect people's properties. Talking to her can only solve the problem in a short term, as by the next day, she would be back to her usual self. I can't wait to get out of home, really.
Gregg Posted September 30, 2008 Posted September 30, 2008 Okay, this post hits close to home. Although I didn't have a mother who was negative towards my hobby, I have gone through the same scenario And, considering I got into this hobby only back in 1987, look at what I have done with my hobby. You can use my example to your mother, explaining that there are those out there who can make something from their hobby, if they have the heart, passion, and soul of our hobby, as well as the support of the family and loved ones. Our hobby is a close nit family of hobbyists. If you want to email me off the board, please do so. All I can say is don't let the negativity of others, even family, let you down. You do what you want to, and do it the best you can.
MrObsessive Posted September 30, 2008 Posted September 30, 2008 Thankfully, I never had that kind of problem with my Dad whom I was living with at the time I started building at 17. I was at the age when a lot of guys get into trouble---------drinking and driving too fast and having a wreck! I had a high powered car at the time (A '69 GTO albeit tired) so the driving too fast part was an easy task! I'd sooner be at home building something, even though at the time my skills were nowhere near what I build now. He never minded my staying at home and building.........at least he could see where I was! It also helps that he was a car guy as he had some interesting cars in his past, he also was into model planes (most he scratchbuilt) when he was younger, so he understood the hobby. If your mom has a problem with spending too much money on models...............take her to eBay and look up member robbbbbb57! She'll be surprised at what a really well built model can bring!
Mike Whatshisname Posted September 30, 2008 Posted September 30, 2008 Eric, Maybe getting your Mom involved with your hobby will get her to understand a little more. Ask her what she thinks about a certain color of paint on a car or if she thinks that red or yellow flames would look nice...etc. etc. Maybe she will get more excited if she was PART of the building process. just a thought.
novadose71 Posted September 30, 2008 Posted September 30, 2008 (edited) Absolutely not, just start building outside and tell her that calling names is not nice, especially your own children. Oh, and store your stuff at Dad's if possible, sounds like he would be proud to display your builds. Edited September 30, 2008 by novadose71
Harry P. Posted September 30, 2008 Posted September 30, 2008 From what you describe, I'd say that your modeling isn't the real problem... there is a whole lot more going on between your mom and you that goes a lot deeper than model building. You two need to figure out what the real problem is... but it sure isn't building models.
MrObsessive Posted September 30, 2008 Posted September 30, 2008 Well I can't be a family counselor here on the board, but as Harry said and looking at your posts a little deeper, I ditto that something else is going on than you building little plastic cars. Are you in school or college? If so, are you doing well? Do you have an outside job if you're not going to school? Mom's can be strange creatures......after all they are women! Sometimes you gotta dig deep to get at what their problem is. I suspect if you asked enough questions of her, you'd get to the root of the problem, and as Harry said, it would be a much bigger issue than models. I also see by your posts that your parents aren't together...........I'm assuming here and please forgive me if that's not the case. Divorce can bring out the worst in parents...........a lot of time mothers can harbor a resentment towards the father if the father has more "control" over what the child likes than they do. I don't know the dynamics in your family.............but I agree it goes much deeper than plastic cars in a box!
george 53 Posted September 30, 2008 Posted September 30, 2008 Dude, yer Mom's just goin thru the "Change"! Is she in her 40's? Early 50's? Just lay low, stay outta her way, Keep yer stuff at yer dads, or ask him to talk to her about it. Thats what I did. I told him she was threatin to thro ALL my stuff out. I told him everything the guys here said, How it kept me outa trouble, they always knew where I was, And I LIKED IT!. He was a big help, caz I got to keep em. Hope you can talk to yer Pop like that.Hopefully that'll work, or you guys can come to some kind of agreement, caz if not ,it only lasts about 5/6 yers!
Starliner Kustoms Posted September 30, 2008 Posted September 30, 2008 (edited) I agree with a few people here, that you should sit down and discuss the issue with your mom and come to an agreement. It may not be easy mind you but at least she would see where your coming from. I would maybe suggest a 50/50 split. spend some time outdoors during the day along with doing your chores if any,then work on your kits at night. I do not suggest you give up your love for the hobby. There are many people who did only to realize later it was a bad choice. You could point out that it is a positive hobby in the sense that you meet a lot of great people who support what each other do and it's much better that going out and getting into trouble with gangs and what not. Good luck and happy modeling. Let us know how you make out. Bernie Edited September 30, 2008 by Starliner Kustoms
3men2s Posted September 30, 2008 Posted September 30, 2008 my advice, 1. realize that the problem is not what you r doing, since this hobbie is clean and fun. but what you are not doing. If you are spending every single second building, thats for sure hitting a nerve with her. parents care about thier kids development and when parents don't care where you are or what you are doing in your room thats worst than the naggin. So, you are in a very crusial age, soon you will leave home, "hopefully" FIND BALANCE, take care of your future, school, work. take time to go out and be with friends. and keep doing your hobby. I have 40 and have a 2 year old daughter and a wife that nags once in a while but since I don't give her reasons, I take care of things I have to remind her to respect my time.... bro, take your mom out, something she likes, movie, mall or fair, doit for her that way she will do for you the same. I took my wife in vacation in Orlando and planned it around the sametime of a model show. guess what weahd a great time and got to see how big is this world.....we are going next year and she likes the way I involve her in my stuff. hope I helped. remember, balance....It will help in all aspects of life.
CAL Posted September 30, 2008 Posted September 30, 2008 (edited) Yup, I think you should, and you can ship all your modeling stuff to me. I will PM you with the address. Which would be about as stupid as quiting, but hey I could use a few more models. Your Ma' sounds like my wife sometimes, when she is not complaining about having all these models and never work on them. It's a loose loose. Edited September 30, 2008 by CAL
Nick F40 Posted September 30, 2008 Posted September 30, 2008 novadose71 said: Absolutely not, just start building outside 3men2s said: my advice, 1. realize that the problem is not what you r doing, since this hobbie is clean and fun. but what you are not doing. If you are spending every single second building, thats for sure hitting a nerve with her. parents care about thier kids development and when parents don't care where you are or what you are doing in your room thats worst than the naggin. So, you are in a very crusial age, soon you will leave home, "hopefully" FIND BALANCE, take care of your future, school, work. take time to go out and be with friends. and keep doing your hobby. I have 40 and have a 2 year old daughter and a wife that nags once in a while but since I don't give her reasons, I take care of things I have to remind her to respect my time.... bro, take your mom out, something she likes, movie, mall or fair, doit for her that way she will do for you the same. I took my wife in vacation in Orlando and planned it around the sametime of a model show. guess what weahd a great time and got to see how big is this world.....we are going next year and she likes the way I involve her in my stuff. hope I helped. remember, balance....It will help in all aspects of life. I agree and what you said actually is helping me!
airbrush addict Posted October 1, 2008 Posted October 1, 2008 My mom loved it when I was home building models... I wasn't out street racing, getting tickets, etc, which is what I usually did back then.. My kids don't get out much either... I thank god they are staying out of trouble!!! Maybe your mom will realize that some day...
evilone Posted October 1, 2008 Posted October 1, 2008 ok i had this problem and heres what i did i stopped building for about 6 months and got bored then went out at night and got into alot of fights then i went and started building for 6 months and then told them to make up their minds of what they would rather me to do get drunk in a party and get a girl prego or worst get to the point of being 6 feet deep or stay home and continue modeling while being safe and sound now we all see what they chose thats right my hobby won the battle
sdrodder Posted October 1, 2008 Posted October 1, 2008 Na forget mom. If i may ask how old are you like you like me (15) or older but if she dont like it forget her. Best example, my parents dont mind the music i listen to but if it turns into sreamo or hard core they complain all i do is turn it down but dont stop listening. Whats it prove keep going even if someone or people dont like it. Bro dont stop buildin.
Mike Posted October 1, 2008 Posted October 1, 2008 ABSOLUTELY NOT!!! DO NOT QUIT!!!! If you ENJOY what you do, and it brings you self=satisfaction, KEEP BUILDING. At least you're not rotting your mind before a television playing video games. I used to play baseball in the summer, but my parents ALWAYS supported me in my artistic drawing etc. as well as building models. The ONE complaint I got from my parents was when I was spray-painting downstairs in the workroom and the whole basement wreaked of paint fumes. Other than that, NOT A SINGLE COMPLAINT. In fact, my parents and relatives split the cost of an airbrush for me when I was 14 for Christmas one year. That put my building in high gear. DO WHAT YOU DO AND ENJOY! DO NOT STOP! YOUR MOM MAKES FUN OF IT BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND IT.
gkulchock Posted October 1, 2008 Posted October 1, 2008 ericmaxman said: Gee~ My mom keeps complaining about my hobby. She calls me names. ######. She says that she would prefer that I go for more outdoor activities. The worst part is that she keep blaming my dad for introducing me to this hobby. What's wrong if I do something I like? I really hate her for that bossy attitude. Seriously. Come on, I go out walking once in a while, cycling as well. What else would she want me to do? Fishing? It has been years since I last fished. Not to say I don't want, but it is just that I can't find the time to go out. Not caught up with modeling, but rather helping with the chores at home etc. Her narrowminded-ness really pisses my whole family off. Wow, does this bring back memories. When I was ... 10ish I can remember my dad always coming in my room when I was building my cars and saying (and I quote him here because it's etched in my head) "playing with those ###### kiddy cars again!" Well I never fully gave up on "my ###### kiddy cars" through life, and today he's quite proud of my accomplishments. I even had to buy him the Model Cars issue with my beetle on the cover so he could show his buddies. It's more of a joke to me these days with him. When somthing like the magazine cover happens, I get to anounce to him, "hey look at this! There's one of my ###### kiddy cars on the cover" Never give up what you enjoy. Everything will work out.
RadRidesByDan Posted October 1, 2008 Posted October 1, 2008 (edited) Well....that brings back memories..... when I started building it was all fun and glory but when I got into me teens my parent did the same thing. Told me to grow up and stop playin with cars. The best thing I ever did was NOT STOP building. As I grew older and started to deal with every day adult stess and responsibilities, I knew that I could always count on my hobby to relax me and bring me back into a good mood. I still have my hobbies today and glad I do. 7 years ago the hobby like lots of other modelers....landed me in 3 magazines. Popular HotRodding, SuperRod, and Model Cars Magazine. My Dad during these monthly issues went out and bought 6 copies everytime to send to his friends what I had achieved.....But the best part is that through the hobby, I have made tons of new friends and moleling buddies through contests, shows, and above all........Places like here. I teach senior HighSchool and I run a model car club after school for students. The time they spend being constructive keeps them out of trouble being destructive. SO WITH THAT SAID.......KEEP ON MODELING BRO...... Edited October 1, 2008 by RadRidesByDan
Gregg Posted October 1, 2008 Posted October 1, 2008 gkulchock said: When somthing like the magazine cover happens, I get to anounce to him, "hey look at this! There's one of my ###### kiddy cars on the cover" That is the biggest treat for me. Surprising people with covers. I don't ever kiss and tell (well, I did once, but that's another story), and when guys see their car on the cover, the thrill I get for their response really makes the past ten years of sweat, blood, surgeries, and a couple of bankruptcies all worth it. My only regret is I started so late. I started building in '87, after seeing a SAE in our local hobby shop, April 1987 to be exact. I still need to meet the other cover feature modeler, and thank him for who and what I am today.
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