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Posted

"I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time.'

So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance."- Stephen Wright

"I never forget a face, but in your case I'd be glad to make an exception."-Groucho Marx

"Women should be obscene and not heard."-Groucho again.

In fact, he has tons of great quotes, way too many to post here.

Posted (edited)

The funniest are GW quotes IMO

"You know, one of the hardest parts of my job is to connect Iraq to the war on terror"

"The same folks that are bombing innocent people in Iraq were the ones who attacked us in America on September the 11th."

"I know what I believe. I will continue to articulate what I believe and what I believe -- I believe what I believe is right" - The Zipperfish commentary on this is hilarious

"Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB-GYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all across this country" - That one is priceless

Edited by Evil Appetite
Posted

"I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time.'

So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance."- Stephen Wright

"I never forget a face, but in your case I'd be glad to make an exception."-Groucho Marx

"Women should be obscene and not heard."-Groucho again.

In fact, he has tons of great quotes, way too many to post here.

Groucho has to be the funniest person ever to have lived! ALan Alda second

Posted

The funniest are GW quotes IMO

"You know, one of the hardest parts of my job is to connect Iraq to the war on terror"

"The same folks that are bombing innocent people in Iraq were the ones who attacked us in America on September the 11th."

"I know what I believe. I will continue to articulate what I believe and what I believe -- I believe what I believe is right" - The Zipperfish commentary on this is hilarious

"Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB-GYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all across this country" - That one is priceless

"We must make war on him, because he is a threat to peace."

Posted

Hmmm.... I wonder whats for dinner?

OCTOROCK!

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Y'know as they say. All toasters toast, TOAST!

(why would mario retoast toast?)

Posted

Most of us can, but there are people out there who actively look for reasons to be offended and upset, and people like that aren't usually happy until they make their displeasure known to all.

David G.

True, like the guy that said "Farts realisim", or som weird stuff about "Rainbows & lollipops" :huh:

Posted

More from Groucho...

"Marriage is a wonderful institution… but who wants to live in an institution?"

"Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying all the wrong remedies."

"Hello, room service? Send up a larger room."

"The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made."

Posted

"I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go to the other room and read a book" Groucho Marx

I find this entertaining and true - just ask my wife and kids.

Posted

"I don't play hard to get. I play hard to want" - Darin Bastedo

I see you and I play the same game.....well, you have a girlfriend, so I'm winning for change! :lol::blink:

This is winning?

Charlie Larkin

Posted (edited)

All my like I wanted to be someone; I guess I should have been more specific. Jane Wagner

How is it that one match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box of matches to start a campfire? ~Christy Whitehead

If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice - Neil Peart

Never do anything that you wouldn't want to explain to the paramedics. ~Author Unknown

No one is listening until you fart. ~Author Unknown

The best activities for your health are pumping and humping - Arnold Schwarzenegger

The concept is simply staggering, pointless, but staggering - Dr. Who

There are many in this old world of ours who hold that things break about even for all of us. I have observed for example that we all get the same amount of ice. The rich get it in the summertime and the poor get it in the winter. ~Bat Masterson

Edited by darquewanderer
Posted

Oh, and I think it was Chuck Most that had one in his sig a couple weeks ago that made me laugh pretty hard.

Something like: "You can't always take everything you read on the internet as truth" - Abraham Lincoln :lol:

Posted (edited)

Speaking of Lincoln.... Reminds me of another corny but funny, IMO, quote:

"If she were a president, she'd be Babe-raham Lincoln." - Dana Carvey (Garth) in Wayne's World

Edited by Wayne Buck
Posted

My grandfather had a nice little machine shop set up at the back of his house where I used to build models as a kid.

One day (I was about 4 or 5 years old at the time), I was doing what I LOVED to do most, ...painting several models again and again with a big brush with a whole array of testors enamels (all opened) lined up across the back of the work bench.

My grandpa walked in and said, "Man! It smells like lightning struck the outhouse in here!"

I use that quote once in a while myself.... always makes me laugh when I reflect back on that day. RIP, Pop Pop

Posted (edited)

Take me drunk....I'm home......

Knock the flies off a New York city dumpster from 50 yards.........

Edited by cargostar

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