I once asked the same exact question years ago over on that "other forum" when I was a member there... I remember specifically, because all of the "weathered" models, like you said, looked like absolute wrecks. Apparently "weathered" meant "complete wreckage" to those builders.
I don't think too many people do the subtle, "real world" weathering that you're thinking of. A few do... a few on this forum, in fact, bit it seems that for most it's either completely pristine and looking like it just rolled off the assembly line, or it's a hopeless wreck. Not many modelers go for the "used but not abused" look (aside from the military guys, who do it almost all the time).