The Comedy Corner

[chevyfever2009]

There was a blonde who found herself sitting next to a lawyer on a airplane. The lawyer just kept bugging the blonde wanting her to play a game of intelligence. Finally, the lawyer offered her 10-1 odds, & said everytime the blonde could not answer his questions she owed him $5, but everytime he could not answer hers he'd give her $50. The lawyer figured he could not lose & the blonde reluctantly accepted. The lawyer first asked, "What is the distance between the earth & the nearest star?" Without saying a word,the blonde handed him $5. Then the blonde asked, "What goes up a hill with 3 legs & comes down with 4 legs?" Well, the lawyer looked puzzled. He took several hours, even looking up everything he could on his laptop & even placing air-to-ground phone calls trying to find the an answer. Finally, angry & frustrated, he gave up & paid the blonde $50. The blonde put the $50 in her purse without comment, but the lawyer insisted, "So, what was the answer?" Without saying a word, the blonde handed him $5.

[1930fordpickup]

That is funny stuff Brad.

[chevyfever2009]

That is funny stuff Brad.

Thanks I've always been told laughter is the best medicine

[Custom Hearse]

A salesman goes on vacation at an Indian reservation one year. He's walking around, buying little trinkets and such, when he walks up and see's a sign next to a very old Indian man that reads, Worlds greatest memory.

He looks at the man sitting on the ground, and thinks, 'I'll have to give this a try'.

He leans over and asks, "What did you have for breakfast, April 17th, 1956?"

The old Indian looks at him and says "Eggs."

The salesman thinks to himself, 'anyone can say eggs.' He looks at the old Indian guy once more, then walks off.

10 Years later, the salesman goes on vacation again at the same Indian reservation. he's walking around buying some trinkets, when he see's the old Indian guy again, with the same sign that reads, 'Worlds greatest memory'

The salesman thinks to himself, 'I didn't believe him before, but I'll be courteous to him and say hello in his native language.'

So the salesman say's "How."

the old Indian looks up and say's,

"Scrambled."

[MAGNUM4342]

A salesman goes on vacation at an Indian reservation one year. He's walking around, buying little trinkets and such, when he walks up and see's a sign next to a very old Indian man that reads, Worlds greatest memory.

He looks at the man sitting on the ground, and thinks, 'I'll have to give this a try'.

He leans over and asks, "What did you have for breakfast, April 17th, 1956?"

The old Indian looks at him and says "Eggs."

The salesman thinks to himself, 'anyone can say eggs.' He looks at the old Indian guy once more, then walks off.

10 Years later, the salesman goes on vacation again at the same Indian reservation. he's walking around buying some trinkets, when he see's the old Indian guy again, with the same sign that reads, 'Worlds greatest memory'

The salesman thinks to himself, 'I didn't believe him before, but I'll be courteous to him and say hello in his native language.'

So the salesman say's "How."

the old Indian looks up and say's,

"Scrambled."

Now THAT's a GOOD ONE! :lol:

[Harry P.]

I tried water polo once, but my horse drowned...

Two antennas met on a rooftop, fell in love, and got married. The wedding wasn't anything special, but the reception was perfect.

Woman to gym instructor: Can you teach me to do the splits?

Gym instructor: Well, that depends on how flexible you are.

Woman: I can't make it Tuesdays or Thursdays...

A car battery walks into a bar. The bartender looks him up and down suspiciously. "I'll serve you," he says... "but don't you try and start something."

An Irishman and an Englishman collide head-on one foggy night on a country road. Neither is injured too badly, but they are both pretty shaken up. The Irishman says to the Englishman, "I think we're both at fault here, no sense either of us blaming the other... why can't we just agree to live in peace?"

The Englishman, surprised by the Irishman's apparent sense of forgiveness, smiles and says to the Irishman, "Let's drink to that!" And with that, he opens up his car's trunk and pulls out a bottle of whiskey and hands it to the Irishman.

"Thank you!," says the Irishman as he gulps down about half the bottle. "Now I feel much better." He hands the bottle back to the Englishman. "Here, now it's your turn!"

"No thanks," the Englishman replies. "I'll just wait until the police get here"...

[MAGNUM4342]

All the pictures I post keep coming up backwards...do you think I have pixlexia?

While walking down the beach one day a divorced man sees a bottle. Picking it up and dusting off the sand a genie pops out. "I am the genie of the bottle AND the patron saint of ex-wives. For releasing me of 3,000 years imprisonment I will grant you three wishes, but be forewarned! Whatever you ask for you ex wife will get double!" The man says "I've always wanted to be a multimillionaire, how about ten million dollars?" A moment later he's holding a bank book with a ten million dollar account! The genie reminds him his ex just got twenty million. The guy says "Hey, whatever! Now I'd like a mansion here on the beach." A moment later a beautiful mansion appears, overlooking the ocean. "Your ex just got two mansions on the beach." The guy rolls his eyes, "Yeah, whatever." The genie says "Now what do you want for your third and final wish?" The man grins wide at the genie and says in a firm voice "Beat me HALF to death!"

Edited September 20, 2013 by MAGNUM4342

[blunc]

All the pictures I post keep coming up backwards...do you think I have pixlexia?

Are you posting from a Mac?

(let the flame war begin...)

[MAGNUM4342]

Are you posting from a Mac?

(let the flame war begin...)

No, I don't eat McDonald's junk.

Thanks I've always been told laughter is the best medicine

Unless you have a rash...then you're better off with ointment.