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Freeloading friends


Dirt Demon

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Years ago when I was a much nicer and helpful fella, I had lots of "friends" who'd let me fix their cars, houses, lawnmowers, bikes, loan them my truck or tools...or money...but it almost always seemed when I needed something, they were "busy that day" or "broke" when I asked to be paid back the money.

Now I have 2 or 3 friends who are actually friends, not users. I figure I'm lucky to have even that many.

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True friends are hard to come by. I had a friend .... Well thought he was a friend anyway. He is a model builder also. We use to make weekly trips to our local hobby shop to pick up supplies.... Sometimes a kit or two. Well, I did anyway. We would talk on the way as to what we were gonna buy for our projects and future projects..... Well after looking around and getting everything I needed for what I was building and what I was gonna build next. He would leave the store with nothing but a model magazine if that. A day would go by... My phone would ring...... Then it started..... " hey would you happen to have some extra plastic rod or tube or tenax glue or this or that!. I'd help him out ..... But it got out of hand fast. I told him .... I'm not your personal hobby shop!.... He said well I'll pay you for it.... He didn't get my point I guess. I said we were just at the HS and you should have bought it then.... If I sell you mine.....then I won't have it.... And I'll have to buy it again. It got to the point he was bugging me constantly. I didn't even want to answer my phone.... and sometimes I didn't because I knew what his motive was. Well let me tell you..... It feels so good not to have my phone ringing all the time from him!. I can actually enjoy the hobby again without being hounded for stuff anymore!

Edited by Dirt Demon
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There is nothing wrong with helping someone out Nick..... but this guy got to be a real pain in the you know what! I'm not gonna be used by anyone, and if it means ending a so called friendship...then so be it.....its peaceful now, and thats the way I like it.

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I have a "buddy" who calls me all the time for help. Whether it be moving trailers around is yard, putting heads on his boat, moving his kids Jr dragsters in the staging lanes while he tends to the other. Invites to his 3 kids birthdays and babyshowers.

Now when I call him for help, does he ever return a favor, nope. I invited his family to our babyshower for our first born, does he accept, nope. He's got better plans. I don't have many "friends". The friends I have on here are better friends than anyone I hang out with. The people I've messaged and traded parts with on here are great people. Thanks to all of you by the way.

I don't know, maybe it's just a So Cal desert thing.

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"Good friends" are hard to find. A true friend is there for you both in good times and in bad times. They will pick you up when you are down and will give you a kick in the pants when you get too cocky. I can count on one hand the "true friends" that I've had over the years. Fortunately I still have one or two at this stage of my life and I'm very thankful for them.

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It could be worse. It could be relatives who always need free plumbing. If plumber tells them No, it could cause problems with other relatives. Oy Vey.

My late grandfather was a plumber. He was telling me a story about the old widows that lived in the same trailer park as he did in FLA . They would call him up and ask for some sink repair or other plumbing issue. He would respond with asking for dinner or if they would do his laundry most were mad at him for being so forward, he would just laugh at them and tell them they just do not get it. Now years after he passed my dad told stories of him following a guy home from the hardware store who was buying parts to fix something only to spend all night getting the guys house back in order and ask for nothing. Something changed grandpa over the years maybe it was the 10 years he spent in Cali . LOL

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It wouldn't surprise me. I have a couple of coworkers who think my hobby is cool, but they don't have the patience to do it. I have 1 who asks me to build him a truck from time to time. He appreciates it. We go to the LHS, he picks out a truck,paint and asks me what is needed to do some custom touches. Then once his is squared away, he says for me to pick a kit, paint, etc. Now that I don't mind doing. He has the trucks I build displayed proudly and makes sure everyone who comes in his house knows I built them.

He's the closest thing to a local modeling friend I have. All my other modeling friends are here.

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I agree with what Rich said....real friends are there for you no matter what happens good or bad....there your support team in time of need and to be there to enjoy your good times too. I have had my share of so called friends too....I am very lucky to have great true friends here and in my area. I help them and they help me it just makes everything easier for everyone in the end. My brother will call me when he only needs something for the most part but me being his brother will be there as a brother to him...cant say it does not hurt a bit. My true friends Ill do anything I can to help them out...they are treated as members of my family and should be...its just my belief.

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helping a friend out is one thing.... But when they keep asking for this and that constantly..... You have to draw the line. It was a one way street with this guy...... In other words a " user"... Plain and simple. Every time he came to my house he was constantly checking out what I had on my walls and shelves. So he knew what I had and would ask the next day or two..." Hey would you have this or that".... How could I lie and say no I don't. That's when I put my foot down and said look, I'm not your local hobby shop.... It's not like he was poor. He makes more than I do job wise. He could buy new Pickups... Snowmobiles.... Hand guns.... Etc..... But didn't want to buy stuff for his modeling hobby. He figured why bother I got a sucker for a friend that I can get it from for nothing... Wrong!... Not anymore...

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nothing wrong with trying to help someone out. though when it happens, it's always a disappointment when the kindness isn't reciprocal - even though it's not score keeping.

but, no one can do to you anything which you will not allow.

and healthy people set boundaries.

carry on.

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I did set boundaries....and he crossed them. If the free loading thing wasn't enough, you should have went to model shows with him. Imagine driving 3 hours to a show, and listening to him gripe and complain the whole 3 hours on the way home because he got beat out by this one or that one....Wow..... what a poor sportsman he was. that got really old quick. It got to the point I didn't even want to go to shows with him. He has this mentality that "my model is better than yours"....... I'd always say it is a model show......it is suppose to be for fun. If you win...great......if you don't so be it. Everything was this big competition with him. People like him ruin this hobby, just glad I don't have to deal with him anymore. Im sure he will be going to some shows that I plan on going to this year.......if anything it will make for some amusement during the awards presentations watching him through one of his patent temper tantrums because he got beat...lol! I hope whoever he gets to go with him brings their Ipod and ear buds for the trip home so they don't have to listen to his whining :rolleyes:

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Bill, life is too short to be with people who annoy you.

Just today my wife and I were planning a weekend away. She mentioned inviting another couple along... a friend of hers. But the husband is very annoying. He will drink too much and get argumentative. End analysis.. we agreed we'd be better off going alone!

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I have several friends, mainly through the local model car club, that are into the hobby. And I have yet to see any in our group that I would consider "mooches." They seem to be pretty good guys. Helping when they can. Never asking for too much. In general good considerate friends. I'm surprised by what I've read in other people's posts here. I don't ever really recalling anybody like that within my model building friends. In other areas of my life I've meet people like that. And sometimes I worry that I maybe coming off as the obnoxious mooch. I hope not. But again, I haven't seen much of this with my modeling friends.

Scott

Edited by unclescott58
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Bill, life is too short to be with people who annoy you.

Just today my wife and I were planning a weekend away. She mentioned inviting another couple along... a friend of hers. But the husband is very annoying. He will drink too much and get argumentative. End analysis.. we agreed we'd be better off going alone!

Well I don't associate with him anymore what so ever Tom. I believe in Karma.... and he will get his someday..lol

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My dad told me never to loan anything out that I couldn't handle not getting back.

I am a firm believer in quality over quantity when it comes to friends. I've met many people and have plenty of acquaintances, but only a handful of people I call friends.

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