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Posted (edited)
1 hour ago, magicmustang said:

Finally, "Expect nothing and ye shall not be disappointed".

Good one. I've heard it as The Eighth Beatitude: Blessed is he who expecteth nothing, for he shall not be disappointed.

Edited by Snake45
Posted
2 hours ago, JollySipper said:

 

 

11 hours ago, chepp said:

Here's one from one of my high school teachers:

"Everyone brings joy to this classroom. Some by entering, others by leaving."

 

2 hours ago, JollySipper said:

Gary Larson is a genius......

Sounds like something my Auto Mechanics teacher would say. Kids can't be talked to in this manner anymore, they're too delicate........

We use to say this all the time when i worked as Sears with a slightly different slant.  "All of our customers bring us joy.  Some when they arrive others when they leave."

Posted
56 minutes ago, Thom said:

Obviously, you’ve mistaken me for someone who cares.

That wasn't me. I hadn't even noticed you existed. :rolleyes::lol:

Posted
1 hour ago, Thom said:

Obviously, you’ve mistaken me for someone who cares.

Back in Viet Nam the pilots had a lot of things that we couldn't say plainly over the radio so someone invented the "Falcon codes".  I still have a copy around here someplace.  This was falcon code 269 except a little more explicit. "Excuse me sir, but I believe you have mistaken me for someone who gives a .....!"  I'm sure most of you can fill in the blank.  Yes, there were over 300 codes. 

Posted (edited)
25 minutes ago, SfanGoch said:

FALCON ONE ONE FIVE ;) :D

Yup, that about sums it up.  You made me go pull my checklist!?  It was right there between Anti hijack procedures and Stub elevations!

Edited by Pete J.
Posted
On 3/8/2020 at 11:53 PM, chepp said:

Here's one from one of my high school teachers:

"Everyone brings joy to this classroom. Some by entering, others by leaving."

 

I once told a lady that I worked with..."I hate to see you go, but I love to watch you walk away..."

Can't do that anymore...

Posted
1 hour ago, Pete J. said:

Back in Viet Nam the pilots had a lot of things that we couldn't say plainly over the radio so someone invented the "Falcon codes".  I still have a copy around here someplace.  This was falcon code 269 except a little more explicit. "Excuse me sir, but I believe you have mistaken me for someone who gives a .....!"  I'm sure most of you can fill in the blank.  Yes, there were over 300 codes. 

When I was a deputy sheriff, one of my favorite partners was a black deputy who would pull a coin from his pocket and say, "Here's a dime. Why don't you go call somebody who...." with an extremely evil smile. Imagine Dave Chappelle delivering the line and you'll be in the ballpark. 

Another of the best things he said was once, describing a delinquent taxes demand letter from the IRS. According to him, it read, "You best un-ass them 2300 balloons most rikki-tik, junior." :lol:

Posted
2 minutes ago, alexis said:

Dang, Pete. I'd LOVE to see them Falcon Codes.

Sorry to hear your Google is broken. Mine brought them right up. B)

Posted
6 hours ago, Mark said:

I once told a lady that I worked with..."I hate to see you go, but I love to watch you walk away..."

Can't do that anymore...

A co-worker of mine once owned a grocery store.

When he had to fire an employee, he would use this line.

"I don't know how we could ever get by without you, but starting tomorrow, we're going to try".  :lol:

 

 

 

 

Steve

Posted (edited)

Another favorite of Dad's: 

"You learn something new every day, if you're not careful!" :lol:

And another, which he'd often say as he beat me at Hearts: 

"Once again, skill and cunning beats ignorance and superstition." 

Later on, I'd hear that one put even better as: "Old age and treachery triumph over youth and enthusiasm." B)

Edited by Snake45
Posted
10 hours ago, StevenGuthmiller said:

Here's one that I remember from my dad.

"Pizza is like sex. When it's good, it's really good. When it's bad......It's still pretty good!" ;)

 

 

 

Steve

The corollary - There is no bad sex, just some better than others.

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