For the Pet lovers

[walt francis]

The following was found posted very low on a refrigerator door.

Dear Dogs and Cats : The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Racing me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort, however. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out on the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom! If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge in an attempt to open the door. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine/feline attendance is not required.

The proper order for kissing is: Kiss me first, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

Finally, in fairness, dear pets, I have posted the following message on the front door:

TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR PETS:

(1) They live here. You don't.

(2) If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That's why they call it 'fur'-niture.

(3) I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.

(4) To you, they are animals. To me, they are adopted sons/daughters who are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don't speak clearly.

Remember, dogs and cats are better than kids because they (1) eat less, (2) don't ask for money all the time, (3) are easier to train, (4) normally come when called, (5) never ask to drive the car, (6) don't hang out with drug-using people; (7) don't smoke or drink, (8) don't want to wear your clothes, (9) don't have to buy the latest fashions , (10) don't need a gazillion dollars for college and (11) if they get pregnant, you can sell their children .

Edited January 25, 2011 by walt francis

[Danno]

My Director of Homeland Security, Kodi the WonderDog, gives four paws up for this post!

I also wholeheartedly agree.

[MrObsessive]

[jeff ewaskey]

Sums it up perfectly ! Could not agree more. Would not trade my dog or my male cat for anything. Hilarious

[gray07]

My cat says thank you

[Dragracer]

I agree 100% on everything listed above, my cat however begs/demands to differ. LOVE IT!

[Erik Smith]

Nice. Let's see, I generally have my Mastiff trying to sleep under my feet at my desk, one of my cats in my lap, and the others trying to figure out how they can get on there. If I could only find a way to keep cat hair from floating onto fresh paint....

[Terry Sumner]

Dogs have owners....Cats have staff!

[DRG]

My cat, Dagwood, wants to know what your point is.

[highway]

Walt that is great! I need to have a friend of mine read this, he just got a kitten a few months back and I've been trying to explain to him the "rules" he's trying to make for her will not work! I've been trying to tell him that:

1: The bed is not his anymore, it is hers and nothing is going to change that.

2: Same with the couch, you must ask her permission to sit on it now.

3: Keep the model room door shut, or you'll find her trying to work on models the way mine does!

[mrmike]

The more people I meet, the more I like my dog!

[samdiego]

I truly LOLed . . .LedOL . . .L'dOL

Edited January 25, 2011 by samdiego

[Ben]

Ohhhh, that's priceless!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sooooooo funny and true!