Stupid things people say at car shows

[Maindrian Pace]

Local burger joint car show: Kid in his late teens showing his tired '84-ish Camaro Berlinetta, totally stock except for the Taiwan chrome engine dress up kit.

Man - "What size is the engine?"

Kid - "It's a 350 bored out to a 454. It was built by a famous race car builder"

Man (incredulously) - "Really? What's the lift and duration?"

Kid - "Oh, about a thousand."

-MJS

[Tom Geiger]

He claimed that Mexican beer was made of 30% urine. He was very specific about that 30%. I asked why he thought that was true and where on Earth they would gather that much urine. He said there was a newsletter passed around his ship that said that Mexican beer was 30% urine. He absolutely believed it and was unshakable.

He was wrong. The urine content is 35%!

When I was in high school a buddy-o-mine hated Schaffer beer. He described the process as a room full of men standing at long troughs being intravenously fed orange juice.

[Pete J.]

Way back in the 70's I was transferred from Merced Ca,(Castle AFB) To Michigan(Wurtsmith AFB) and has just purchased a new metallic green Porsche 911. On pulling into a gas station just out side of base in Michigan, the attendant(yes they still had them back then) came out and the first words out of his mouth were, "Wow, that is really nice! Volkswagen?" I knew I had landed in the wrong part of the country. Oh, and yea dumb car things people say? "Porsh" instead of "Porsha". It is a German family name and the e is not silent.

[Ace-Garageguy]

Man (incredulously) - "Really? What's the lift and duration?"

Kid - "Oh, about a thousand."

Must have been thinking of the 'torque-to-ground-ratio".

[JM485]

I love this thread!

[Eshaver]

Years back, 1992, I had driven my 1953 Ford panel truck from Dallas Texas to Richmond Virginia . That's 1,266 miles , three days and some nice scenery inbetween. I stop at a 7-11 to ask for directions as to a Ford Picnic show here . Some jerk wheels in in his Pep Boys 4dr with a bad stereo an say, Hey, when ya gonna start fixin dat up" . I gave him a sneer and said uh I'm too busy trying to find places to stop and strip out all of the running gear , an left

[Pete J.]

Ok, since we have gotten off topic to "Just stupid things people told you" I was at the deli counter in a grocery store and my wife had asked me to pick up some sliced salami. As those of you who are wise in matters of gourmet Italian sausages know there are a plethora of sizes, shapes and cure methods. I am not as well schooled in such things but I noticed that one of the salamis that had a much smaller diameter had a higher price than one that was of larger diameter. I asked the counter person(I will not call her the airhead running the show) why that was. She came out from behind the counter looked seriously at both of them for a moment and said,..............wait for it.............. Because you get more in a pound with the small one.

[MAGNUM4342]

Now that's a woman I wanna date!

[topher5150]

I'm a younger guy in my late 20s, and I've gotten into it with some older guys who knew a thing or three about cars. One example, the place I used to work at the maintainence guy had a 2000s Mustang GT with the 4.6 SOHC, and we got into it becuase he thought because he had two cam shafts total that he had a dual over head cam. Another time I was at a car show and a guy had a late 60s Mustang and he was telling me something about putting new struts in, and I tell him Mustangs didn't have struts until late 70s. But my favorite was I would always go to car shows with my dad when I was little, and peopl would tell me nice Mustang, and being the little kid I'd have to correct them "It's a Shelby, not a Mustang"

[Ace-Garageguy]

...guy had a 2000s Mustang GT with the 4.6 SOHC... he thought because he had two cam shafts total that he had a dual over head cam.

Lotta that around.

Edited November 19, 2013 by Ace-Garageguy

[Tom Geiger]

I have a relative by marriage who is a chore to be around. He tries to sound important by making things up, but he doesn't realize how stupid he sounds to those around him.

A few of his jewels...

They're called PARAMEDICS because there's always two of them.

The hospital ICU is called that because it's got glass walls, as in "I See You".

No, it's not worth correcting him because he'll defend his position.

[Foxer]

I have a relative by marriage who is a chore to be around. He tries to sound important by making things up, but he doesn't realize how stupid he sounds to those around him.

A few of his jewels...

They're called PARAMEDICS because there's always two of them.

The hospital ICU is called that because it's got glass walls, as in "I See You".

No, it's not worth correcting him because he'll defend his position.

They sound like jokes I'd make up ... but I assume you've dropped the idea he's a wannabe comic ...

[Harry P.]

Not car show related, but...

"I need some cash, I'm going to the ATM machine"...

and when I get there, I'll type in my PIN number...

[von Zipper]

Ok, since we have gotten off topic to "Just stupid things people told you"

About 10 years ago I got satellite dish TV installed. While the guy was installing the dish itself out in the back yard I was sitting on the tail gate of his truck watching where and how he installed it when he asked me

"So...do you think you'd like to work on satellites ?"

I replied-" I don't know.....I've never been in outer space before"

[von Zipper]

Awhile back I was talking to a lady when she said she was going to "un-thaw" a package of hamburger for dinner.

I replied that I like my burgers cooked -not frozen .

She looked sort of glazed thinking about that.

But like Jeff Foxworthy says.......Here's yer sign

[Scale-Master]

_{Actually that's Bill Engvall that does the "Here's your sign" gig.}

[von Zipper]

_{Actually that's Bill Engvall that does the "Here's your sign" gig.}

YEP-You are right....That's probably why I have a sign too

[Skydime]

YEP-You are right....That's probably why I have a sign too

For some reason, I envision Ron White walking in on Bill and Jeff fighting amongst themselves and saying, "What are you two knuckleheads doing with Larry's sign?!"

Edited November 20, 2013 by Skydime

[hvymtl]

Ahhh the best thread ever !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! really bored at work but work auto parts for 22 yrs and you will hear some really good ones .

But her is what has been asked of me and my wife at car shows, one year all sitting at the back of ours and my fathers car and this young man approaches and asked if this was the same car i had 20 yrs ago , we all looked at each other and i said yes it was., He just turned and walked away . leaving us dumbfounded. never saw him before or since .

Then while my wife was sitting by the car at one cruise this guy walked up to her and asked if it was mine by name and said what a shame "this was one of the ####n fastest cars street racing in the area, now look at it a baby seat in the back seat" He walked away after she said that seat doesn't make it any slower than it was then . ( and i disavow anysort of such racing and do not condone it either ) . Later i will post what people come in asking for to fix their cars ........

Michael

[Tom Geiger]

_{Lyle Willets has a '55 Dodge that he takes to a lot of shows and cruise nights. He gets upset if young people ask him if he bought it new... how old do you think I am??}

_{And on Dune Buggies... Volkswagen made those one year when they ran outta Beetle bodies!}

[Modelmartin]

My wife worked at a Deli for a little while and the mid 20-ish women who was the manager thought it was really strange that particular day (December 7) her mother was on a trip to Viet Nam. My wife asked why that would be strange.The manager replied , " Well, it's Pearl Harbor Day and the Vietnamese bombed Pearl Harbor!" Can you say - Box Of Rocks!

Edited November 21, 2013 by Modelmartin

[Jantrix]

I was talking to my dad about this very subject recently and he recalled a couple of winners from when we had the Stude. It was a '65 Stude Commander Wagonaire. Four doors and the rear roof section would drop down and slide forward and lock. Very cool.

He would get lots of knuckleheads that would comment on the "custom" roof, or berate him for taking out the Stude 289 and using a Chevy small block, when of course, it came with the Chevy.

But his favorite was the guys that would argue the year of the car.

"That can't be a '65 because Stude stopped manufacturing in the U.S. in '64!!!"

My dad would just reply, 'You are half right and half uninformed."

If we'd had Google back then, it sure would have helped a lot.

Edited November 21, 2013 by Jantrix

[Tom Geiger]

" Well, it's Pearl Harbor Day and the Vietnamese bombed Pearl Harbor!"

It's sad that people are this stupid... right after 911, some local clowns in New Jersey were calling to boycott an INDIAN owned gas station.

[Ace-Garageguy]

It's sad that people are this stupid... right after 911, some local clowns in New Jersey were calling to boycott an INDIAN owned gas station.

My idiot-neighbor (21 with a shiny new GED) was over here looking at something I was working on not too long ago. He noticed a pile of vintage hot-rod mags in the shop and asked what they were. I started to explain that shortly after WWII, the hot-rod phenomenon really took off in the USA. He interrupted me and said, "umm, World War 2 , you mean Vietnam? Yeah, my uncle was in that."

Sigh.

[Jantrix]

"umm, World War 2 , you mean Vietnam? Yeah, my uncle was in that."

GED huh? Anyone shocked by that?