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Posted

I was at the cemetery today to see the grave of Bob Hope, then I walked over to see where Johnny Cash was buried, then I went over to see Steve Jobs tombstone. As I was leaving I got to thinking, we've lost hope, cash, & jobs!!

Please don't let Kevin Bacon die!!

  • 2 weeks later...
Posted

Why did the cross-eyed teacher get fired? She couldn’t control her pupils...

Did you hear about the new restaurant on the moon? Great food but no atmosphere!

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A stick.

I told my friend, “I broke my leg in two places!” My friend said, “Quit going to those places”

Teacher: Susie, if your mother has 20 dollars and you borrow 10, how much will your mom have?


Susie: 20 dollars.


Teacher: Sorry, you don't know your math.


Susie: Sorry, you don’t know my mom.

A man shows up for his doctor's appointment with a piece of celery in each ear and a carrot in each of his nostrils. He says to the doctor, "Doc, I'm not feeling well." The doctor replies," Maybe you're not eating right."

Did you know that five out of every three people have trouble with fractions?

Why did the math book go to see a physiciatrist? It had a lot of problems.

Posted

There's 3 moles in a hole. The 1st one pops his head out and says I smell pancakes. The 2nd pops up next to him and says I smell maple syrup. The hole is pretty crowded now and the 3rd mole says all I smell is molasses.

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