3 men are sitting on top of a skyscraper, eating lunch. The first one opens his lunch and sees he has a PB&J sandwich. He says "Man, if I get a PB&J sandwich again, I'm jumping off this building!" The second one opens his lunch and sees he has a bologna sandwich with ketchup. He says "If I get a bologna sandwich with ketchup again, I'm jumping off this building!" The last one opens his lunch and sees he has Thermos with tomato soup with 2 grilled cheese sandwiches. He also says "If I get another thermos with tomato soup and 2 grilled cheese sandwiches again, I'm jumping off this building!"
Well, the next day comes around and the men are on lunch break. The first opens his lunch, sees he has a PBJ sandwich and throws himself off the building. The second one opens his lunch and sees he has a bologna sandwich with ketchup. He also throws himself off the building. The third one opens his lunch, sees he has tomato soup with 2 grilled cheese sandwiches. He then throws himself off the building.
At the three mens funerals, the first wife was sobbing, saying "If only he would've said something, I would've changed it up!" The second wife says the same thing. They look over at the third wife, who is not crying, and is standing there, smoking a cigarette. She gets looks of disbelief from the 2 other women. She puts out the cig and says "he packs his own dang lunch"
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Did you hear they shut down the casino at the zoo?!
Too many cheetahs.