The Most Embarrassing Cars To Drive

[Harry P.]

You do actually get that in Arizona (and the desert Southwest in general) sometimes. Local thunderstorms can turn dry washes into unexpected rivers pretty quick.

Maybe you need to get a tank?

[Tom Geiger]

One of my friends had a Geo Tracker (given to him by a relative), which I hear is actually pretty good in the snow. When he was selling it, I asked him how good it was in the snow. "I don't know...I've never put it in four-wheel drive". And he did use it during the winter. If I had the thing, after the first big snowstorm, I'd have gone out and tried to get it stuck somewhere, just to figure out what it could and couldn't do.

I've had my Geo Tracker since 1991, and it is very capable in snow. Mine is a 4WD with a 5 speed. Something about the short wheel base and high clearance. I've tried to get it stuck, could never do it! I've aimed it at snow banks up to it's hood and with a bit of effort it plowed through. In fact when it snows deep here, the first thing I do is run the Tracker the length of the driveway, probably 200 feet to make it easier for my snow blower. This past year the snow was at least bumper height.

and about Hummers... a bunch of years ago a buddy-0-mine and I went to a GM drive event. They had set up a dirt course to give demo rides in Hummers. You had one of their folks in the passenger seat next to you, but you did get to drive. The first section was a slope sideways to drive along. You were on an angle steep enough that you were sitting against the drivers door, but the truck did it with ease. The next section was a series of camel hump dunes. Way steep and tall. The instructor told you to go up the dune and not to hesitate, so I gunned it and I had never driven a vehicle up an incline like that before... all I could see out all the windows was air! When I crested, he told me to hit the gas to kick off, but then to just coast and steer. It went down this hill and up and over the second lesser one all by itself. Any other vehicle would have gotten stuck.

At the end of this nerve wracking ride, the instructor asked me if I wanted one. I told him that if I lived in Alaska and had to travel over the tundra, this was the vehicle... but there was no way the should be selling these to soccer moms. I'd never need or want this to fight stop and go traffic on the Parkway!

Shortly after that my rich sister in law was talking about getting a Hummer H2. I talked her out of it. I had talked to someone who did buy one for the wife... she traded it in after a year because it was a real pain in the tail to drive... to push kids up into and climb in and out in heels!

Edited August 2, 2014 by Tom Geiger

[SSNJim]

What "capabilities" did the original have that anyone would ever need on public roads? The ability to cross a shallow stream? Yeah, I run across that problem all the time. I can't tell you how many times I've been on my way to the grocery store when I came to a river and had to turn around and go home...

The ability to cross a shallow stream is quite handy out in the sticks of MD, VA, WV and PA. We run into that quite often out on our motorcycle trips. We usually find another way around - crossing a stream of uncertain depth filled with slimy rocks/mud and a strong current isn't anything we want to do on our 900lb bikes. Granted, most people who do cross on their way to the grocery store don't need or have a Hummer, but the need does arise more often than you would think.

[Harry P.]

I suppose you can come up with a few specific instances where a Hummer would come in handy, maybe a handful of days out of the year. The rest of the time you're hauling around a two-ton pile of useless metal.

But you know I was talking about the typical Hummer owners... the ones whose off-roading is limited to their suburban driveway, and their whole reason for owning one is the "look at me" factor. Especially when they ladle on the chrome accessories and the wheels that keep on spinning even when you're standing still. Yeah, that's real impressive, pal...

[Ace-Garageguy]

I suppose you can come up with a few specific instances where a Hummer would come in handy, maybe a handful of days out of the year...

Deer hunting??

[Harry P.]

Just a teensy bit of overkill for deer hunting.

[Deano]

Just a teensy bit of overkill for deer hunting.

Not when them frisky deer are shootin' back!

[Harry P.]

"Hunting is not a sport. In a sport, both sides should know they’re in the game." –Paul Rodriguez

[Joe Handley]

I've had my Geo Tracker since 1991, and it is very capable in snow. Mine is a 4WD with a 5 speed. Something about the short wheel base and high clearance. I've tried to get it stuck, could never do it! I've aimed it at snow banks up to it's hood and with a bit of effort it plowed through. In fact when it snows deep here, the first thing I do is run the Tracker the length of the driveway, probably 200 feet to make it easier for my snow blower. This past year the snow was at least bumper height.

and about Hummers... a bunch of years ago a buddy-0-mine and I went to a GM drive event. They had set up a dirt course to give demo rides in Hummers. You had one of their folks in the passenger seat next to you, but you did get to drive. The first section was a slope sideways to drive along. You were on an angle steep enough that you were sitting against the drivers door, but the truck did it with ease. The next section was a series of camel hump dunes. Way steep and tall. The instructor told you to go up the dune and not to hesitate, so I gunned it and I had never driven a vehicle up an incline like that before... all I could see out all the windows was air! When I crested, he told me to hit the gas to kick off, but then to just coast and steer. It went down this hill and up and over the second lesser one all by itself. Any other vehicle would have gotten stuck.

At the end of this nerve wracking ride, the instructor asked me if I wanted one. I told him that if I lived in Alaska and had to travel over the tundra, this was the vehicle... but there was no way the should be selling these to soccer moms. I'd never need or want this to fight stop and go traffic on the Parkway!

Shortly after that my rich sister in law was talking about getting a Hummer H2. I talked her out of it. I had talked to someone who did buy one for the wife... she traded it in after a year because it was a real pain in the tail to drive... to push kids up into and climb in and out in heels!

Honestly, that hill isn't bad. Check out some of the videos from when Jeep puts on a ride experience at an auto show, the hill climb makes that look like a speed bump.

[Tom Geiger]

Honestly, that hill isn't bad. Check out some of the videos from when Jeep puts on a ride experience at an auto show, the hill climb makes that look like a speed bump.

Funny thing, the hill was much bigger in my memory! Still, it was big enough to impress us pedestrians and probably the biggest their insurance would allow!

[SSNJim]

I suppose you can come up with a few specific instances where a Hummer would come in handy, maybe a handful of days out of the year. The rest of the time you're hauling around a two-ton pile of useless metal.

But you know I was talking about the typical Hummer owners... the ones whose off-roading is limited to their suburban driveway, and their whole reason for owning one is the "look at me" factor. Especially when they ladle on the chrome accessories and the wheels that keep on spinning even when you're standing still. Yeah, that's real impressive, pal...

I wasn't trying to justify a Hummer at all. I just said that the ability to cross a stream is sometimes quite useful out in the sticks. Everything you said is applicable to most 4WD owners. Most people just own 4WD trucks and SUVs so that they can park them in a ditch during a snowstorm.

Edited August 2, 2014 by SSNJim

[jbwelda]

the thing about hummers is their width. you cannot go anywhere near where I go out in the canyons and desert with a rig that wide. that's whats nice about Toyota land cruisers and tacomas: they are narrow for their length, and have excellent ground clearance, as well as steep approach and departure angles. I have been on many runs where the hummers and suburbans had to be towed out of obstacles. that hill in those photos above is nothing, believe me...maybe for the east coast or Midwest but let me take you a few places in California, Nevada, Utah and you would see what a real hill is like. and let me give you a hint: no one will ever tell you to "hit the gas" as you crest a hill. that's strictly for those who want to walk home. believe me.

jb

Edited August 2, 2014 by jbwelda

[Harry P.]

Most people just own 4WD trucks and SUVs so that they can park them in a ditch during a snowstorm.

[Mark]

"Hunting is not a sport. In a sport, both sides should know they’re in the game." –Paul Rodriguez

Spoken by a non-hunter. I don't hunt either, but under normal circumstances the hunted is well aware of the hunter...their senses are far better than ours, they're aware of the hunters' presence, and the hunting is taking place on their turf. If it were one-sided, everyone that goes into the woods would come home with something. It's only when you get into those "canned hunts" that it's unfair, and no true hunter I've ever known would take part in anything like that.

[jbwelda]

its only "fair" if the supposed "game" has the ability and known will to do to the hunter what the hunter would do to them. otherwise its just a bunch of beer drinking good old boy-ism hunting down an innocent animal for no other reason than to say they did it. if you actually eat the game that is some points for you but unless you are in as much or more danger than the game is I hardly call it fair at all.

go fish in the midst of grizzly bears, and then I will be more likely to go along with it.

by the way I am not anti-hunting, I am just protective of what we have left of our natural resources and think the odds should definitely be in the animals' favor out in the field. and the potential level of loss should be the same for both sides.

jb

[Harry P.]

I see absolutely no reason for people to go into the woods and kill animals for fun. Or to call that a "sport." If it's the thrill of the chase that turns you on, "hunt" with a camera. Or like jb said, if you actually eat what you kill, I can see that. But going and shooting up animals just for kicks seems pretty sadistic to me. Just my opinion, of course.

[Harry P.]

Spoken by a non-hunter. I don't hunt either, but under normal circumstances the hunted is well aware of the hunter...their senses are far better than ours, they're aware of the hunters' presence, and the hunting is taking place on their turf. If it were one-sided, everyone that goes into the woods would come home with something.

So if it's "fair," tell me how a deer defends itself against a guy with a high-powered rifle, a scope, and that stuff they use to mask human scent.

That's a "fair" fight?

As long as only one side is armed, hunting isn't fair. "Fair" hunting would be a guy going into the woods and bringing back a deer using only his wits and his hands.

[sjordan2]

I prefer to let the professionals do my killing for me, like Tyson Farms, Butterball, the Certified Angus Beef suppliers and the Deadliest Catch guys, et al. One way or another, animals get snuffed. But the pros don't miss, mutilate or just wound.

And how we got here on this thread about embarrassing cars is a total mystery to me.

Edited August 2, 2014 by sjordan2

[Ace-Garageguy]

And how we got here on this thread about embarrassing cars is a total mystery to me.

This would be embarrassing...

[Harry P.]

This would be embarrassing...

Boy, it sure would be. Everyone knows you tie your kill onto the hood of the car...

[Harry P.]

And how we got here on this thread about embarrassing cars is a total mystery to me.

I blame the internet...

[Ace-Garageguy]

Boy, it sure would be. Everyone knows you tie your kill onto the hood of the car...

Yes, I meant for the deer, for exactly that reason...

[Ace-Garageguy]

I blame the internet...

I blame the deer...

[Agent G]

Two weeks ago the Hummer H2 vindicated itself quite well. My co workers wife, Martha, was in hers, stopped in traffic on the 15 nothbound at Sahara. FYI that's the biggest parking lot in southern Nevada bar none.

Out of no where some impatient, "you know what", driving like a mad man passes lines of traffic on the shoulder, swerves to avoid a NDOT truck and creates a massive accident.

The "you know what's" vehicle rolls up and over the hood of Martha's H2 coming to rest upside down in font of her. Unfortunately the "you know what's" passenger expired at the scene.

The H2 also got rear ended by a semi in the process.

Martha walked away with a sore neck.

G

[Harry P.]

A one-in-a-million sequence of events doesn't justify the Hummer's existence.