Laugh at ourselves

[Scott Colmer]

Now this is a great thread. It is amazing I lived through my youth. Ive got a few good ones. Here is the most stupid

I grew up in a small town that had lots of playgrounds for our hot rod antics. Lots of dirt roads just out side the small down town. Some wind through the old arsenal and some wind through the refinery.

So Saturday nights war spent crusing Main and then taking excursions out to the play roads for dirt drifting and donuts.

Craving donuts one night, we headed out to a dirt road out by the refinery and I set the RX3 into a tight orbit. If I remember right it was a full house with all seats occupied. It was hilarious.

The dust started to rise and pretty soon we were enveloped in our own brown cloud. We were hysterical. I finally brought the ship to a stop fearing an off road excursion into the nearby field.

As we caught our breath and the dust slowly evaporated into the night, just inches from my drivers side window appeared a huge yellow refinery pipe, sitting quietly and patiently at exactly head level.

Scott

[slusher]

I was watching my nephew practice his Dukes of Hazzard hood slide and his head was not high enough and he hit his mouth on the fender and knocked a front tooth out on the fender. That was 26 years ago and the same tooth is still missing. Everytime he smiles I can still remember it..

[Austin T]

I was watching my nephew practice his Dukes of Hazzard hood slide and his head was not high enough and he hit his mouth on the fender and knocked a front tooth out on the fender. That was 26 years ago and the same tooth is still missing. Everytime he smiles I can still remember it..

I have a similar story but not as funny. Recently me and a few of my buddies were goofing off in the parking lot of a restaurant waiting for it to open for lunch, when suddenly one guy had the great idea to "Dukes it" over my friends accord. Now when you look at his accord you can see a butt print right in the middle of the hood.

[slusher]

I have a similar story but not as funny. Recently me and a few of my buddies were goofing off in the parking lot of a restaurant waiting for it to open for lunch, when suddenly one guy had the great idea to "Dukes it" over my friends accord. Now when you look at his accord you can see a butt print right in the middle of the hood.

I think to many thought it was easy....

[Joker]

[mnwildpunk]

I'm 57 years old and that slap is still put to use on occasion ! Isn't there a statue of limitations on past transgressions ?

As for the " grinding pedals of death " ? Yep ! The shins still bear the scars ! Lol !

You'd think that Schwin and Mattel would have taken our craziness into consideration during development . The bikes always broke behind the gooseneck and the Big Wheel's bod y always broke right in. front of the rear wheels on impact.

The serious " air " was always a rush , the one point landing on your head ..... Eh , not so much ..

I still can't figure out why a girls bike had a back that swooped down and a boys bike had the bar that went straight so we were sure to crack out (ahmms) on. I am surprised half of my generation can still have kids

[JM485]

Since we are discussing moments of epic failure, I guess I will add two out of the long list that I have.

1. Just this past weekend, I finished building my drift trike (youtube it, they are awesome!), and went to test it with some friends at the park across the street. Well, on one of the runs I overshot a corner and went flipping and sliding through the grass, which was actually a lot of fun. . . . . . . until I realized I had gone flipping and sliding right through a nice patch of dog poop! Clean up after your dogs people!

2. This one was about 5 1/2 years ago and was a bit more serious. I was still racing BMX at the time and decided I would go screw around on the open track after the event was over on sunday. Well, in my infinite skill and wisdom I proceeded to mistime a rhythm section and caught my front tire on a small landing, rocketing myself into the concrete like dirt. I woke up to a crowd of people around me, so I must have been out for a bit, and was able to get up and walk myself off the track. After a couple of minutes, my chest and stomach area really started to hurt, and to make matters worse I got sick from hitting my head so hard. Long story short, I ruptured my spleen, had internal bleeding, and spent a long week in the hospital. Luckily, I was able to keep my spleen and not have it removed, but I wasn't able to do any sort of sports for about six months. But, being myself I ended up getting back on the dirtbike after three months and riding carefully.

[Dave Ambrose]

Great stories. Mine isn't quite as interesting, but I'll toss it out.

I was 17 and bumming around with new friends after an astronomy conference. We decided to go to Seal Beach. The waves were big, at least 6 feet or so, and excellent form for body surfing. This was my first trip to a SoCal beach ever, and having been raised in Northern California, I was amazed that the water was in the 70's. We were out body surfing and I lost sight of my friend. I didn't see him in the water, so I looked for him on shore. Bad idea.

I looked back, or rather up, to see a honking big wave. I had just enough time to utter something rude, and take a breath. The wave broke over me, flipped me over end for end at least twice, then left me on my hands and knees in shallow water. I had a terrible case of vertigo, and it took me a couple of minutes before I could even stand. My condition brought inquiries from a couple of cute girls in bikinis so it wasn't all bad.

I swam back out, found my friend, and kept body surfing, but now I always keep a watchful eye on the surf.

[Pete J.]

Carrier landing with a bunch of jarhead pilots at the O club in U Tapao. If you know what I am talking about I have already said too much!

[dieseldawg142]

....

Edited May 11, 2018 by dieseldawg142

[slusher]

I remember those days......

[slusher]

Since we are discussing moments of epic failure, I guess I will add two out of the long list that I have.

1. Just this past weekend, I finished building my drift trike (youtube it, they are awesome!), and went to test it with some friends at the park across the street. Well, on one of the runs I overshot a corner and went flipping and sliding through the grass, which was actually a lot of fun. . . . . . . until I realized I had gone flipping and sliding right through a nice patch of dog poop! Clean up after your dogs people!

2. This one was about 5 1/2 years ago and was a bit more serious. I was still racing BMX at the time and decided I would go screw around on the open track after the event was over on sunday. Well, in my infinite skill and wisdom I proceeded to mistime a rhythm section and caught my front tire on a small landing, rocketing myself into the concrete like dirt. I woke up to a crowd of people around me, so I must have been out for a bit, and was able to get up and walk myself off the track. After a couple of minutes, my chest and stomach area really started to hurt, and to make matters worse I got sick from hitting my head so hard. Long story short, I ruptured my spleen, had internal bleeding, and spent a long week in the hospital. Luckily, I was able to keep my spleen and not have it removed, but I wasn't able to do any sort of sports for about six months. But, being myself I ended up getting back on the dirtbike after three months and riding carefully.

You was lucky Josh, many guys that ride dirt bike are fearless..Glad you came out ok...

[Jantrix]

Lets see. Four wheeling in a wooded are in Florida. Area was below sea level a bit so there was lots of standing water and sawgrass.

Standing in the back of this truck, holding onto the roll bar as we spun through this water throwing mud everywhere. Having a blast.

We struck a tree stump unseen in the grass. The truck spun sideways and I was thrown.

I don't know if you've ever careened through an area of sawgrass in shorts and a t-shirt before, but I don't recommend it.

[Ju Ju]

Lets see. Four wheeling in a wooded are in Florida. Area was below sea level a bit so there was lots of standing water and sawgrass.

Standing in the back of this truck, holding onto the roll bar as we spun through this water throwing mud everywhere. Having a blast.

We struck a tree stump unseen in the grass. The truck spun sideways and I was thrown.

I don't know if you've ever careened through an area of sawgrass in shorts and a t-shirt before, but I don't recommend it.

That's one funny story, you a Wildman , Jantrix !

[Modelmartin]

Scrapping out a 66 Chevelle parts car that had been sitting around for a year or so without a gascap on the tank. I figured the tank was full of rainwater or that the gas had evaporated. No problem! I will use the cutting torch to to cut the straps and take the tank out! As I cut the second strap the tank fell to the ground, several gallons of gas ran out and there was was a fairly loud WHOOSH! Good thing I did it in the sandy driveway! No harm, no foul.

Then there was one time when I had my dad's 63 Chrysler New Yorker wagon out one night. My buddy and I thought doing fish hooks in a local parking lot was fun. We did three or four and on the next one there was a loud clanking and the car wouldn't move! It was tough explaining to my dad how the U-joint broke.

I was actually better than he was to his dad! He wrecked three of my Grandfather's cars by the time he left the house at age 20. My grandfather was a doctor and had ER duty one of the nights my dad wrecked. His buddies brought him to the ER to get some stitches. My grandfather loved telling the story about how he was so mad at him for wrecking another car that he sewed him up with no painkillers! This would have been 1946-48 and it was a new Oldsmobile!

Edited March 5, 2014 by Modelmartin

[A.R.C.]

I still can't figure out why a girls bike had a back that swooped down and a boys bike had the bar that went straight so we were sure to crack out (ahmms) on. I am surprised half of my generation can still have kids

Reminds me of my most memorable bicycle crash. I was ten, it was close to 37 years ago now, and to this day I remember it as clear as if it happened this morning.....and I can still feel it if I think about it enough.

My buddy and I were riding to a friends house on our bicycles...racing actually. I had a CCM Rebel ( like the red one in the picture. Coolest bike ever. I could jump that thing like Evel Knievel....bad landings included) I was standing up, pedaling my heart out for all it was worth when BAM!!!! The chain came off, both feet flew off the pedals into the dirt and I went straight down into the cross bar. My legs were shorter than the crossbar height so my boys took the full impact hitting the bar before the tiptoes of my feet hit the ground. I hit the bar, flew forward and smashed my chest into the handlebar mount losing my breath, then lost control of the bike and slammed into the dirt road with my junk still in full contact with the crossbar. The palms of my hands and parts of my arms were de-barked, I couldn`t breath, somehow my nose was bleeding, I was covered in dirt from head to toe and my two best friends felt like they had gone through WW3. My buddy stood there with his mouth hanging open and said nothing. Usually we would ask the usual,"You allright", and if all systems were good, start laughing at the guy, but he said nothing. Just stood there with eyes bigger than Bambis. I just layed there, curled up in a ball (pardon the pun, but you understand) holding them. I was in so much pain I couldn`t think but there was no way on earth I was going to cry. After what seemed like forever I gathered myself up, got up and inspected the bike, straightened the bars, put the chain back on and we carried on to my friends house. All my friend said about it that day was, "I think your chain came off". Years later we would still talk about that crash.

I loved the 70`s.

[Harry P.]

That hurts just reading about it...

[JM485]

I'm loving this thread! Almost fell off my chair with a few of them!

[LoneWolf15]

Another not so youthful prank / folly O'l Harry story ........

Before you get the wrong impression , let me state for the record that I loved Harry like a brother ! However , like any of my siblings , Harry could be a royal pain in my behind . To top it all off , Harry suffered from manic depression . When the meds were working , he was cool as it could be . If not ? His neurons would start firing off like a chipmunk on crack , 12 different directions all at once , causing him to become The Royal Pain! It was not his fault , at times , his mind was just convinced that the meds were poison and he would stop taking them . Thus the story .....

I love to fish as much as I do building model cars . I own a bass boat , however , I love to fish in chest waders most of all . I love the early morning quiet , the tranquility that goes with it , and the feel of the current going across the waders . Harry loved to fish also , this particular time he was off his meds , therefore , Harry wasn't going with me because the lack of meds meant no tranquility for The Old Man !

When I arrived at the river , several of my buddies were already there , I spoke to them , waded out onto the flat and began casting . The fish were up and striking and I caught several in the first couple of minutes . It was so peaceful ..... Tranquil ..... Until ..... " HEY ! " HEY ! " YOU LEFT WITHOUT ME , YA BIG JERK ! " Sigh , yep , O'l Harry making his grand entrance !

Out he came , splashing through the water , making enough noise to wake the dead ! I told him to be quiet , he was scaring the fish , he just glared at me . Now , when Harry was off his meds , three things happened . He became loud , chattered constantly , and would argue with you incessantly !

After about an hour of putting up with this three headed devil , I'd had enough ! I told him if he did not stop with his foolishness , the next fish that I caught was going down the front of his waders ! He just laughed ..... The next fish hit , I reeled it in , Harry began to berate me for practicing catch and release , I reached over and dropped a three pound walleye down the front of his waders !

Harry then proceeded to perform the finest imitation that I have ever witnessed of our Lord and Savior's walk across the water , screaming and yelling as he went ! It didn't end there , Harky started laughing , dropping a lit cigarette down the front of his waders , causing him to begin dancing around . Sammy Maggs , witnessing both incidents , stated laughing , only to swallow his chew in the process . And Divots , well he just fell over and got soaking wet when he twisted around to watch Harry's progress across the water .

From that day on , Harry would tell folks that I was a man who always kept his word and could be evil and devious about proving said point ! Lmao !

[W-Machine]

Shot propane tanks with a hunting rifle. Crashed cars into utility poles, on purpose. Picked fights, with cops. Homemade explosive devices. I have about 170+ years worth of stupid packed into my life experience. I'm not done yet.

[Harry P.]

Homemade explosive devices.

That could get you in a heap of trouble these days...

[Joker]

Aweful Kenawful daredevil.

(pix from the H.A.M.B.)

[mnwildpunk]

I agree I cringed reading the bike story. I got another one.

I was in high school shop class and made a nice oak coffee table for my mom. When it came time to put hinges on the door I held the door with my left hand while I drilled the holes with my right. The bottom hinge went fine but as I was drilling the upper hinge I felt a poke in my index finger (this was before variable speed drills ) the bit went clean through my finger before I could react. When I did stop the drill it was still in my finger and I was to chicken to pull it out. So I walk calmly somehow up to my shop teacher with a coffee table door a drill and my finger all together. Now I should have known better then to walk up to mr. Dunn for help being he was missing two fingers of his own. He swiftly plugs the drill in pulls the trigger and separates me from the door before I knew what was going to happen.. well at that time I turned white as a ghost and promptly collapse to the floor fighting the urge to pass out. After that experience I decided auto shop and welding were a better fit for me I just sent shivers down my spine thinking about it. Almost as bad as when I cut my finger off but that is a whole other story

Edited March 6, 2014 by mnwildpunk

[Austin T]

Almost as bad as when I cut my finger off but that is a whole other story

That is golden. Sounds like something a guy would say all nonchalantly in a conversation with his buddies.

[Agent G]

Carrier landing with a bunch of jarhead pilots at the O club in U Tapao. If you know what I am talking about I have already said too much!

Semper Fi, do or die, gung ho, ouhh rahh, aye aye sir!

I never made it there, but I did visit Tan Son Nhut.

I also am a member of the Subic Bay Yacht Club, which is also a story for when the kiddies go to bed.

G