some corny jokes

[DaveM]

I just took a job in Africa. They said, "Kenya start tomorrow?"

[chunkypeanutbutter]

I was offered a job in Oslo, but there's Norway I can get there.

[Thom]

I got the job in Tiawan because of my taipei personality!

[Harry P.]

I bought a watch from a shady character on the street, but it stopped running.

I think Egypt me...

[Harry P.]

I showed the watch to a friend of mine. "Look, it's a Rolex!"

"Dude, that's a cheap knock-off."

"No, man... I'm telling you, Israel!"

[Mike_G]

In what month do women talk the least?

February

[DaveM]

Wanna know the quickest way to collect ten different opinions on a subject...

Ask five women!

[Thom]

The Grim Reaper came for me last night, I beat him off with a vacuum cleaner!

Talk about Dyson with death.

[oldnslow]

Now, while they last, feed your snake cheep!

Women just don't understand.

Not just January, Spring 2015

[Mike_G]

How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman?

None

[chunkypeanutbutter]

When Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone, he had four missed calls from Chuck Norris.

[Harry P.]

When Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone, he had four missed calls from Chuck Norris.

I don't get it.

[chunkypeanutbutter]

Jesus can walk on water; Chuck Norris can swim on land.

[unclescott58]

I don't get it.

Don't feel bad Harry. Most of these Chuck Norris are lame, and not worth getting.

Scott

[Mike_G]

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Unfortunately, he's never cried.

[oldnslow]

where it all starts.

[Greg Myers]

I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.

When chemists die, they barium.

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.

How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.

I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.

Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations

We’re going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.

I didn't like my beard at first Then it grew on me.

Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?

When you get a bladder infection urine trouble.

Broken pencils are pointless.

I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.

What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

All the toilets in New York's police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on.

I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes.

Velcro — what a rip off!

A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.

Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!

The earthquake in Washington obviously was the government's fault.

Had enough yet??....

[1930fordpickup]

LOL

[Danno]

[blunc]

things are more like they are right now than they have ever been before.

[Dirt Demon]

Those are freaking awesome! ......but it wouldn't surprise me if it got removed... I had the little spikey haired cartoon kid peeing on a Toyota symbol as my avatar....and they made me remove it because " it may offend some"...

[Ace-Garageguy]

Happy holidays? Is it Christmas again already? Man, how time flies when you're having fun.

[unclescott58]

These are great. If they do feel they need to be removed, I hope they move them in with Corny Joke thread instead. They'd fit in prefect there.

Scott

[Ramfins59]

Thanks for the smiles Greg.

[Old Buckaroo]

Those are quite punny !