HotRodaSaurus Posted October 26, 2015 Posted October 26, 2015 Two cannibals eating a clown.One says to the other"Does this taste funny to you?"
unclescott58 Posted November 11, 2015 Posted November 11, 2015 The other night, at the local Crosley club meeting, we got into telling jokes. One of the other members turned to me and asked, "Do know the difference between curtains and toilet paper?" I thought about it for a minute, and I had say "no?" He then said, "Remind me never invite you over to my house." ?
ToyLvr Posted November 26, 2015 Posted November 26, 2015 What did one snowman say to the other snowman?"Gee, it smells like carrots in here".....
unclescott58 Posted November 26, 2015 Posted November 26, 2015 Where did this come from? I'd love to hear what Scotty is saying.
unclescott58 Posted December 3, 2015 Posted December 3, 2015 I'll be honest. I'm a little offended by the above pizza/gynecologist joke. I'm not prude by any means. I do like a clever sexual joke from time to time. But the above seems a little crude. And It's not really "corny" in the true sense of the word. I do like that the jokes here have remained generally clean.
unclescott58 Posted December 8, 2015 Posted December 8, 2015 Let's see if anybody gets this one. It took me a few seconds before I final got it. Did you hear about the cannibal who passed his brother in the jungle?
JollySipper Posted December 8, 2015 Posted December 8, 2015 Friend #2 goes to visit Friend #1, who is laying on his death bed. Friend 1 says to #2 "When I die, I want you to take a bottle of the finest whiskey, and sprinkle it over my grave" Friend 2 says, "Sure thing friend, but I have but one question....... Do you mind if I pass it through my kidneys first?"
XJ6 Posted December 8, 2015 Posted December 8, 2015 Let's see if anybody gets this one. It took me a few seconds before I final got it. Did you hear about the cannibal who passed his brother in the jungle?well after a few Minutes I still don't get it ? Can you pleas explain curious ?
unclescott58 Posted December 8, 2015 Posted December 8, 2015 well after a few Minutes I still don't get it ? Can you pleas explain curious ?His brother passed through him. Don't feel bad about not getting it. It's not a knee slapping joke either.
gbdolfans Posted December 8, 2015 Posted December 8, 2015 Hey all,we do have young people and ladies on this forum.Let's keep the corny jokes corny and not vulgar.Thanks
unclescott58 Posted December 9, 2015 Posted December 9, 2015 Hey all,we do have young people and ladies on this forum.Let's keep the corny jokes corny and not vulgar.ThanksWhat joke did you consider vulgar? So we know what to watch out for?
gbdolfans Posted December 9, 2015 Posted December 9, 2015 The ones about pizza/gynecologists and passing brother.
SSNJim Posted December 10, 2015 Posted December 10, 2015 What does a tree like to drink? Root beer. What did the eraser say to the pencil? You're sharp. Can I tell you a joke about a pizza? Never mind, you'll think it's cheesy.
Toner283 Posted December 10, 2015 Posted December 10, 2015 (edited) ... Edited December 10, 2015 by Toner283
unclescott58 Posted December 10, 2015 Posted December 10, 2015 What does a tree like to drink? Root beer. What did the eraser say to the pencil? You're sharp. Can I tell you a joke about a pizza? Never mind, you'll think it's cheesy.Three good ones! ?
cobraman Posted December 23, 2015 Posted December 23, 2015 For our friend Harry. How do you keep a Bear out of your yard ?Put up goal posts !Why doesn't Milwaukee have a professional football team ?Because then Chicago would want one ! What do the Bears and possums have in common ?Both play dead at home and get killed on the road !
Harry P. Posted December 23, 2015 Posted December 23, 2015 For our friend Harry. How do you keep a Bear out of your yard ? Put up goal posts ! Why doesn't Milwaukee have a professional football team ? Because then Chicago would want one ! What do the Bears and possums have in common ? Both play dead at home and get killed on the road ! That would be funny if it wasn't so true!
Harry P. Posted December 23, 2015 Posted December 23, 2015 Q: Why was the mermaid wearing seashells? A: She grew out of her B shells... Q: How did the hipster burn his tongue? A: He drank his latté before it was cool! Q: Why did it get so hot in the stadium after the game ended? A: All the fans left...
oldnslow Posted December 23, 2015 Posted December 23, 2015 (edited) Made a belt out of old watches,it was a waist of time I bought a pair of shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been trippin" all day. I swallowed some food coloring and I feel like I dyed a little inside. I changed my Ipod's name to Titanic and it's syncing. Why are fish so easy to weigh? Cause they have their own scales. Edited December 23, 2015 by oldnslow
bandit1 Posted December 23, 2015 Posted December 23, 2015 How about this: How many letters are in the alphabet? 19! ET hopped in his UFO and took off for home with the FBI hot on his tail
Harry P. Posted December 23, 2015 Posted December 23, 2015 Why did the cookie go to the hospital? He was feeling crummy.Why was the baby strawberry sad? Because his mommy and daddy had gotten themselves in a jam.What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.Why should you avoid trying to write with a broken pencil? Because it's pointless.What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches? A nervous wreck.Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was out standing in his field.What did the disappointed smoker get for Christmas? Clothes, but no cigar.Why did the cup of yogurt go to the opera? Because it was cultured.What did the traffic light say to the stop sign? Don't look, I'm changing.
unclescott58 Posted December 29, 2015 Posted December 29, 2015 (edited) Q: Why was the mermaid wearing seashells? A: She grew out of her B shells... Q: How did the hipster burn his tongue? A: He drank his latté before it was cool! Q: Why did it get so hot in the stadium after the game ended? A: All the fans left... I've been having more fun telling your above mermaid joke Harry. Everybody seems to like it. It's not a knee slapper per say. It's just cute. Edited June 18, 2016 by unclescott58
Chuck Most Posted February 7, 2016 Posted February 7, 2016 A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers and says "five beers, please".
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