Words/Phrases You're Sick Of Hearing?

[Snake45]

One thing that just irritates me to no end is "corporate-speak." When I was still working in the corporate world, listening to some of those mid-level paper-pushing desk jockeys talk, I swear it was like nails on a chalkboard. I just wanted to slap the next person that talked about "synergy," or "revisiting" an issue at the next meeting, or 'leveraging our assets," or "deliverables." Aaaaaarrrggggghh!!!! Who talks like that in the real world? And why do they talk like that at work? It's absolutely maddening.

I'm currently working at a major international corporation that seems to have whole departments--maybe entire divisions--whose whole reason for being is dreaming up this kind of junk. And I think they've been infiltrated by satirists and/or saboteurs, who are using major corporate-speak judo to either mock the institution or destroy it from within with sheer utter nonsense. And those of us down in the trenches just want to do our gorram jobs.

[Harry P.]

BTW... when did "price" become "price point?" And why? The word "price" worked just fine. Now we can't sell our product at a fair price anymore, we have to sell our "deliverables" at a fair "price point."

Aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrggggggggghhhhhhhhh!!! Every time I hear nonsense like that I want to smack someone. Like Cher in Moonstruck... SNAP OUT OF IT! 

[Pete J.]

I see that from earlier posts we are now getting down to dialects. The south has to be the worst, but there are many others throughout the country. Deep south -Mayonnaise - Mayonnaise a lot of rain the other day. Wigidiger- Brought your wife wididiger.  Texas- all - We drilled us a allwell.  And I just love areas that drop letters.  You know like that city that has the Ravens NFL team - Balamer.  I will never forget the first time I got dictions from my father in-law.  He said, "Go down to Blair road and take a left on Ekadal"  The actual street names were Bel Air and Echo Dale.  Don't even get started on Baston AKA bean town. 

[Harry P.]

Don't even get started on Baston AKA bean town. 

Ah yes... the city where they pahk their cahs...

[Harry P.]

ok, here's one... not exactly a lost word from our childhood... but a lost object. A wooden spoon.

My mom's weapon of choice when, uh... "disciplining" me...

[CometMan]

I'm currently working at a major international corporation that seems to have whole departments--maybe entire divisions--whose whole reason for being is dreaming up this kind of junk. And I think they've been infiltrated by satirists and/or saboteurs, who are using major corporate-speak judo to either mock the institution or destroy it from within with sheer utter nonsense. And those of us down in the trenches just want to do our gorram jobs.

Harry and Snake, you guys are both absolutely right! The larger the corporation, the more of these (fill in colorful term here) type of people they have! They spend literally every moment of their lives thinking up this stuff because they think it will impress someone that has the power to give them a more powerful sounding title. Then they call endless meetings to show off their new words they just made up when most of us consider meetings to be weapons of mass distraction, why should we have to spend countless hours TALKING about doing work we've been doing for decades when they should just be letting us DO THE WORK?!

[Harry P.]

Meetings! Don't get me started. I can't tell you how many hours of my life I've wasted sitting in on meetings where we talked about what we were going to do... instead of actually spending time doing it!

But hey... the free donuts and bagels were always nice...

[blunc]

Are you telling me that you DON"T want to leverage your way into some 100% pure, world-class, industry leading UNOBTAINIUM?

It would maximize your through-put, minimize your expenses and generate massive synergy with your corporate partners and therefore your quarterly profits would exceed the corporate goal of 36% quarter-on-quarter.

 

Edited February 9, 2016 by blunc
word salad

[CometMan]

Are you telling me that you DON"T want to leverage your way into some 100% pure, world-class, industry leading UNOBTAINIUM?

It would maximize your through-put, minimize your expenses and generate massive synergy with your corporate partners and therefore your quarterly profits would exceed the corporate goal of 36% quarter-on-quarter.

 

Very good Mike, but you just made my hair hurt!

[Ace-Garageguy]

Meetings! Don't get me started. I can't tell you how many hours of my life I've wasted sitting in on meetings where we talked about what we were going to do... instead of actually spending time doing it!

But hey... the free donuts and bagels were always nice...

Jeez..I once worked for a frigging bodyshop...a BODYSHOP...where we had to attend morning meetings.

I mean, come on.

Cars come in wrecked, we write estimates. We coddle owners and fight with insurance companies while the techs fix the cars. We fight the techs to try to make them do decent work, on time. We deliver the cars and hope the owners don't notice all the flaws.

Rinse, repeat. Bang head against wall.

The meetings just waste an otherwise possibly productive morning.

 

[Harry P.]

Yeah, but the donuts! And the bagels... with cream cheese with chives... mmmmmmmmm!

[Ace-Garageguy]

Yeah, but the donuts! And the bagels... with cream cheese with chives... mmmmmmmmm!

Maybe some lox, I'm in.  

After all, we really DO need to focus on leveraging our human assets to minimize throughput-times and maximize our value-added core concepts, while retaining market viability and strengthening our bottom line.

Edited February 9, 2016 by Ace-Garageguy

[Danno]

Maybe some lox, I'm in.  

After all, we really DO need to focus on leveraging our human assets to minimize throughput-times and maximize our value-added core concepts, while retaining market viability and strengthening our bottom line.

 

It is what it is.

 

[slusher]

Yeah, but the donuts! And the bagels... with cream cheese with chives... mmmmmmmmm!

All the quality control meetings I was in didn't have any doughnuts or Bagels but that could be because we was catching what ran down hill. The funny thing is we did not make the product..

Edited February 9, 2016 by slusher

[Snake45]

BTW... when did "price" become "price point?" And why? The word "price" worked just fine. Now we can't sell our product at a fair price anymore, we have to sell our "deliverables" at a fair "price point."

 

Price point isn't the same as price. It's actually a pretty useful marketing concept/tool.

[blunc]

Maybe some lox, I'm in.  

After all, we really DO need to focus on leveraging our human assets to minimize throughput-times and maximize our value-added core concepts, while retaining market viability and strengthening our bottom line.

umm... maybe "expanding our bottom line."

[slusher]

Yeah, but the donuts! And the bagels... with cream cheese with chives... mmmmmmmmm!

Is doughnut the correct spelling? Curious...

Edited February 9, 2016 by slusher

[Harry P.]

Is doughnut the correct spelling? Curious...

Technically, yes. But a lot of words have morphed into simplified spellings over the years. Doughnut > donut... catalogue > catalog... analogue > analog... many more.

[Harry P.]

Price point isn't the same as price. It's actually a pretty useful marketing concept/tool.

Explain.

[drummerdad]

Its nice to know some of the office dwellers hate the lingo as well. I work on helicopters, as an avionics installer. Whenever a "suit" comes out, and starts throwing around the office lingo, and asking questions we resort to our own language: 

"Yes sir. Im just installing a floating insert for this GDL69, using the bedvu drawing, and the AC43.13, making sure I reference the structural repair manual, and other approved data, which as you know is an FAA requirement. Ive used a #30 drill bit, and now Im switching to a 7/16 rotabroach, then Ill core the honeycomb, and fill it with Magnolia 6398. After it sets, we will begin the wiring using MS approved teflon covered wire, that has been laser marked with an approved designator, and install the d-sub connector, and #360 pins, using our calibrated AFM-8 crimpers, and a k42 die..."

Im sure somewhere on the internet, there is a forum for guys who love office lingo, and they are complaining about how we use "common" language. 

[CometMan]

Its nice to know some of the office dwellers hate the lingo as well. I work on helicopters, as an avionics installer. Whenever a "suit" comes out, and starts throwing around the office lingo, and asking questions we resort to our own language: 

"Yes sir. Im just installing a floating insert for this GDL69, using the bedvu drawing, and the AC43.13, making sure I reference the structural repair manual, and other approved data, which as you know is an FAA requirement. Ive used a #30 drill bit, and now Im switching to a 7/16 rotabroach, then Ill core the honeycomb, and fill it with Magnolia 6398. After it sets, we will begin the wiring using MS approved teflon covered wire, that has been laser marked with an approved designator, and install the d-sub connector, and #360 pins, using our calibrated AFM-8 crimpers, and a k42 die..."

Im sure somewhere on the internet, there is a forum for guys who love office lingo, and they are complaining about how we use "common" language. 

I'm a technician also Dwayne, yes it's always amusing to see the "deer in the headlights" look from the suits when you throw technical jargon at them. But, they truly are clueless when it comes to the idea that the government's requirement for an approved repair always takes precedence over what the person above them wants, or saving the company a few dollars!

[Pete J.]

Its nice to know some of the office dwellers hate the lingo as well. I work on helicopters, as an avionics installer. Whenever a "suit" comes out, and starts throwing around the office lingo, and asking questions we resort to our own language: 

"Yes sir. Im just installing a floating insert for this GDL69, using the bedvu drawing, and the AC43.13, making sure I reference the structural repair manual, and other approved data, which as you know is an FAA requirement. Ive used a #30 drill bit, and now Im switching to a 7/16 rotabroach, then Ill core the honeycomb, and fill it with Magnolia 6398. After it sets, we will begin the wiring using MS approved teflon covered wire, that has been laser marked with an approved designator, and install the d-sub connector, and #360 pins, using our calibrated AFM-8 crimpers, and a k42 die..."

Im sure somewhere on the internet, there is a forum for guys who love office lingo, and they are complaining about how we use "common" language. 

I have a very good friend who is retired from The Jet Propulsion Laboratory in Pasadena and he has always contended that every profession has its own jargon.  The purpose of that is to keep out the uninitiated.  The guys with office speak are doing exactly what you are doing for the same purpose.  I have to agree with him, because over the years, I have had several professions and dealt with multiple professions.  The jargon/language that each speaks is the secret hand shake for the club.  

 

Edited February 10, 2016 by Pete J.
yup!

[blunc]

Its nice to know some of the office dwellers hate the lingo as well. I work on helicopters, as an avionics installer. Whenever a "suit" comes out, and starts throwing around the office lingo, and asking questions we resort to our own language: 

"Yes sir. Im just installing a floating insert for this GDL69, using the bedvu drawing, and the AC43.13, making sure I reference the structural repair manual, and other approved data, which as you know is an FAA requirement. Ive used a #30 drill bit, and now Im switching to a 7/16 rotabroach, then Ill core the honeycomb, and fill it with Magnolia 6398. After it sets, we will begin the wiring using MS approved teflon covered wire, that has been laser marked with an approved designator, and install the d-sub connector, and #360 pins, using our calibrated AFM-8 crimpers, and a k42 die..."

Im sure somewhere on the internet, there is a forum for guys who love office lingo, and they are complaining about how we use "common" language. 

did you happen to have the C-of-C for the calibrated crimper handy in case the source inspectors showed up?  

[CometMan]

The guys with office speak are doing exactly what you are doing for the same purpose.

 

That kind of makes them sound like diapers!

[Ace-Garageguy]

I have a very good friend who is retired from The Jet Propulsion Laboratory in Pasadena and he has always contended that every profession has its own jargon.  The purpose of that is to keep out the uninitiated. 

Can't really buy it.

A technical manual filled with technical jargon conveys actual objective information, and tells you how to do something. Every reference that seems obscure to an outsider is in actuality a reference to a hard, cold, fact.

Office-speak contains no objective information and only tries to make it APPEAR like it's telling you how to do something. Every reference that seems obscure to an outsider is nothing but multisyallabic BS that conveys no facts, but takes a lot of words to do it...a very close relative of political-speak. Its purpose is to AVOID hard, cold, facts.

Office-speak and political-speak have evolved as means of communication that leave plenty of wiggle-room in interpretation, in cultures that specialize primarily in blame-spreading and avoiding personal responsibility for actions that go sour, and credit-taking when things go well.

 

Edited February 10, 2016 by Ace-Garageguy