What to do now? =/

[Jocache83]

Sucks that my wife is regulating me now on hobby spending. can't have nothing shipped to our house or ill get in trouble for spending. LoL. can't ship items out to my friends since they all live more than 3hrs away from me. now it's finding someone local where i live. LoL

[bill_rules]

How about P.O. box? But if she finds out, it's a P.O. wife

[MrObsessive]

How about P.O. box? But if she finds out, it's a P.O. wife

[RJWood]

Joel, I'm half an hour away. Have your kits sent to my house,...they will be safe with me.

BUWAAA HA HA HA

[Jocache83]

How about P.O. box? But if she finds out, it's a P.O. wife

We have one and she's the one with the key. lol

[Darin Bastedo]

Sucks that my wife is regulating me now on hobby spending. can't have nothing shipped to our house or ill get in trouble for spending. LoL. can't ship items out to my friends since they all live more than 3hrs away from me. now it's finding someone local where i live. LoL

I would ask you why is she regulating your hobby spending? did you spend too much in the past? did you leave the household budget short, or is she simply not supportive of the hobby? If it's strictly bugetary reasons talk to her and work out a fair hobby budget that doesn't take food off the table. If it's that she doen't support the hobby, try to find a middle ground. Going behind her back and getting caught will give a much bigger problem than you have now. It's like I always say, if you are doing something that you don't want your wife to know about, you shouldn't be doing it.

[LAone]

bro, deffinitly talk to her. you need to come to an agreement somewhere. it's only a hobby and the money spent on it should be money that is not attachted to any house hold items.

there has to be a middle ground. IE, if there is 100 bucks a month of "free money" on your behalf, then that could be your budget.

with my wife, it's like most on here. theres a roof over their head, food in the fridge, bills paid and cars maintained, well then theres not problem with buying something.

or trade kits, sell kits to buy more. i sell 1:1 car parts that i have lying around to buy most of my stuff. i also have traded kits for kits. shoot, im currently trading the clear parts from a skyline r32 for a e55 amg kit that has been partially built, but it's complete. what am i gonna do with it?? dunno maybe trade it or keep it..it's in the air.

dont go behind her back to get stuff you want. reason with her, it's easier. she'll feel as if your cheating her by doing so.

[Guest Johnny]

Mine is just the opposite! She will tell me "go ahead and order it, we'll make do" if she sees me looking at something new!(models that is!) er (car ot truck models that is ) er (plastic car and truck models)!

[bill_rules]

Is this a modeling forum or "Dear AbbY" ???

[crazyjim]

Send her packing and get the kits you want.

[diymirage]

wait for her to turn 40 and trade her in for 2 20

but in all seriousness, as a man and as a husband we have certain responsibilities and we are called to display sacrificial love

now, once all of these responsibilities have been met (the aforementioned roofing, food ect.ect) and there is some moneys left over then you should be able to indulge a bit

but keep im mind that life comes in cycles, there are fat times and slim times and the way we carry ourselves through the slim times is what makes the fat times so much more enjoyable.

now, if you really want to make a bold move, spend some money on her...buy her some nice jewelry, take her out to dinner and see if that might change her mind...she might just feel neglected

or have a look at my avatar

my wife has always been suportive of my hobby but ever since i build her that model with her on the hood it can do no wrong

[John E. Bowers Jr.]

I see both sides of this situation. My wife saw that I was spending waaay too much on the hobby and spoke up. I thought about her remarks, took a good look at my stash and recently purchased tools and other associated stuff. Wow! She was waaay right. the only buys in the past 18 months have been some paints. No problems with that!

[Jocache83]

So is there anyone willing to let me ship stuff to there house? LoL... Thanks for all the advice. wasnt expecting this type of response but it's awsome. both of us are students getting our masters and im only working part time for my intern ship. all funds go to saving a house and goods to survive n clothing. she thinks r/c racing and model cars are a waste of time, she thinks im better off with mountain biking n road biking as a hobby (which i do as well). ill figure out something. thanks again all.

[Ben]

Simple, keep buying kits. If she asks, say that you bought it for her in hopes that she would enjoy the hobby with you. If she accepts the kit, great! Go buy another one and tell her it's for her and you forgot about buying the previous one! LOL

[Foxer]

I don't see what a spouse has to do with selecting a hobby for yourself. period

You do have a full cart there and it is wise to be careful with buying .. it IS addicting. You don't need 5 kits waiting for your attention (don't mention that to anyone else on this forum) so just try to get only you immediately need. Come up with something your wife will get a kick out of ... something involving a bike?

[seeker589]

So is there anyone willing to let me ship stuff to there house? LoL... Thanks for all the advice. wasnt expecting this type of response but it's awsome. both of us are students getting our masters and im only working part time for my intern ship. all funds go to saving a house and goods to survive n clothing. she thinks r/c racing and model cars are a waste of time, she thinks im better off with mountain biking n road biking as a hobby (which i do as well). ill figure out something. thanks again all.

A wife is a gift from God - it proves he has a sense of humor.

But really - there is a real truth to the term "happy wife - happy life". It's not wise to begin createing a rift that could become a chasm. Work with her - express to her that you really value the creativeness of modeling. The fitness and relaxation of cycling is also addicting. They both CAN be quite expensive.

Lay down a budget and stick to it. Relish getting new stuff. Involving her in the hobby is not a bad idea. Building creates challenges and triumphs - share them with her. She may become more empahetic to your hopes and dreams.

Good Luck with getting your degree. When we stop learning - we die.

I am REALLY a hopeless romantic.

[seeker589]

Is this a modeling forum or "Dear AbbY" ???

It's whatever we want it to be.

Gotta help a fellow modeler however we can!

[Sport Suburban]

So is there anyone willing to let me ship stuff to there house? LoL... Thanks for all the advice. wasnt expecting this type of response but it's awsome. both of us are students getting our masters and im only working part time for my intern ship. all funds go to saving a house and goods to survive n clothing. she thinks r/c racing and model cars are a waste of time, she thinks im better off with mountain biking n road biking as a hobby (which i do as well). ill figure out something. thanks again all.

While I agree with everyone's responses and say, You must not hide anything from your wife! She is your chosen partner, You need to treat her as such. You did state yourself that you are working on your masters and saving for a house. I think you need to focus on that and get your career and household established. Those are two real big items for your life together. Then focus on your what to do on your spare time.

[ra7c7er]

I say talk to her. I don't know your personal life at all but sometimes when you are working on a goal like getting your masters and a house your top priority should be just that. Having hobbies is great but you have to know when to cut back and your model collection isn't going anywhere. I think what you are asking for is funny but at the same time I can understand where she is coming from. I lost my job over two years ago and even though I just got my first full time job since then I am still only making 15% of what I was making then. I had to sacrifice several of my hobbies including racing something I have been doing since I was a kid. I still have a car and trailer sitting at my parents house, but I know starting racing again right now will cost more than my household can afford and while it kills me every Friday night to hear the local track and see my friend post up their finishes on Facebook I know I am doing the right thing, It sucks hardcore but it is the right thing to do. Perhaps maybe you could cut back on one of your two more expensive hobbies (models cars and RC racing) I know both of those can require monetary commitment more often than biking.

[charlie8575]

So is there anyone willing to let me ship stuff to there house? LoL... Thanks for all the advice. wasnt expecting this type of response but it's awsome. both of us are students getting our masters and im only working part time for my intern ship. all funds go to saving a house and goods to survive n clothing. she thinks r/c racing and model cars are a waste of time, she thinks im better off with mountain biking n road biking as a hobby (which i do as well). ill figure out something. thanks again all.

I don't see what a spouse has to do with selecting a hobby for yourself. period

I'm in total agreement with Mike on this.

One of the reasons I've never gotten married is so many women around my age, at least around here, will just as soon step all over you and your hobbies and interests, and anything that's important to you. That's something I refuse to accept; your wife married you knowing this was an interest and a hobby. You should not need her approval or her permission for a simple diversion. If she doesn't like it, tell her to go take up something you have little or no interest in. While finding a way to share a hobby together is important, sometimes it's not always possible. My ex-girlfriend, for example, loved to paint, which is something I just can't do, although I loved the end results, I still supported her in her efforts. She couldn't understand the source of joy from playing with little bits and pieces of plastic like I do, but she liked that it made me happy and gave me something to do in-between day-jobs and hunting for permanent work. You need something to do for yourself, and it shouldn't require spousal approval.

Having spent most of the last four years substantially underemployed (and most of the last eighteen months all but completely out-of-work,) I do understand the need for financial management and discipline, as deflating as it might be sometimes.

But to allow your wife to step all over your happiness simply for her own satisfaction is a recipe for long-term disaster. If first a hobby, what next? A job? Where to live? How to raise your children? And the list goes on. I'm no counselor, clergy, or professional in this matter, but I do have enough of a basic understanding of people (and speak from watching the failed relationships of several friends) that to allow one side to dominate a couple does not make for a happy relationship. This should be a reasonably equal division, based on understanding, acceptance, love and respect, not an attempt at fear-mongering or domineering. Excessive power-plays from either side will lead to divorce or a long, unhappy life.

I also agree that you shouldn't need, or have to, sneak around to enjoy your hobbies. To put you in a position like this is very unfair of her. "Approve of"? PLEASE! If we all had to seek approval, the scale model industry probably wouldn't exist.

To be very honest, she sounds like she has either some control issues or some kind of deep-rooted fear from some type of previous financial hardship she may have experienced. If either one of these is true, they must be talked about before a real problem happens. See the counseling staff at your college for some help.

I've always told any girl I've dated that my models, my 1:1 cars and Masonry come as a package with me. Most understood. Very few have accepted.

Your wife needs to understand that you will, and should have, interests outside of school or her.

Charlie Larkin

[Nick Notarangelo]

dude print this out and hand it to your wife

http://starshipmodeler.com/perspective.htm

[Jocache83]

GOOD News, I can buy stuff and have it sent to our place thanks for the advice. i think it's just the fear of talking to her, but when i did talk to her she was cool about it! Thanks again guys

Joel

[Harold]

Success . I was going to say she should be glad you're not out carousing every night.

[Chuck Most]

Sucks that my wife is regulating me now on hobby spending.

Reason #78,883 I never want to get married...

[crazyjim]

YEAH!! I love happy endings, Joel. I need to get a tissue to wipe the tears from my eye now.