iamsuperdan Posted April 7, 2019 Posted April 7, 2019 Oh I 100% agree. There would be such a discrepancy about what is considered inappropriate, that it would be a trainwreck within 5 posts. Have to keep this one as it is.
unclescott58 Posted April 7, 2019 Posted April 7, 2019 2 hours ago, iamsuperdan said: Oh I 100% agree. There would be such a discrepancy about what is considered inappropriate, that it would be a trainwreck within 5 posts. Have to keep this one as it is. I'm confused? Where's the joke here?
unclescott58 Posted April 7, 2019 Posted April 7, 2019 Here is an example: What did the pirate say on his eightieth birthday? "Aye Matey." Yea it's a bad pun. But, at least I'm trying to keep with the sprit of the thread.
peteski Posted April 8, 2019 Posted April 8, 2019 23 hours ago, iamsuperdan said: I wish we could tell some slightly inappropriate jokes. I have an awesome joke about a penguin. And you are one of the moderators here! LOL!
Thom Posted April 8, 2019 Posted April 8, 2019 I went to a plastic surgery group last night. It was nice to see so many new faces.
iamsuperdan Posted April 8, 2019 Posted April 8, 2019 11 hours ago, peteski said: And you are one of the moderators here! LOL! Yeah, I may be a mod, but I have a skewed sense of humour. The difference is, I know where I can let loose, and where I need to toe the line. And my humour is generally not for everyone. I was wondering why there are so many stories about vampires set in Europe, but not in Africa. Then I realized that vampires are killed by holy water, and they bless the rains down in Africa. Did you know you can distinguish an alligator from a crocodile by paying attention to whether the reptile sees you later or in a while?
Roger U Posted April 8, 2019 Posted April 8, 2019 3 hours ago, iamsuperdan said: Did you know you can distinguish an alligator from a crocodile by paying attention to whether the reptile sees you later or in a while? Ok, now that's pretty corny. That song is by Bill Haley isn't it?
peteski Posted April 9, 2019 Posted April 9, 2019 What a bunch of groaners! You guys just further prove that there is a "P - U" in every pun.
unclescott58 Posted April 9, 2019 Posted April 9, 2019 I chould not figure out why baseball was getting bigger. Than it hit me!
JollySipper Posted April 9, 2019 Posted April 9, 2019 What's black & white, black & white, black & white, black & white? a penguin rolling down a hill....... What's black, white and red all over? a newspaper..... What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? elephino.....
thatz4u Posted April 9, 2019 Posted April 9, 2019 a man walked into an antique shop, looked around & said "what's new?"
Dave Ambrose Posted April 9, 2019 Posted April 9, 2019 These are called Dad jokes in popular parlance. Sometimes I wonder if they didn't get that just a wee bit wrong. . . . It makes things difficult sometimes, but I have to confess that I too, have a twisted sense of humor. I have to stifle myself a lot.
unclescott58 Posted April 11, 2019 Posted April 11, 2019 One night I paid $20.00 to see Prince. But I partied like it was $19.99.
Toner283 Posted April 11, 2019 Posted April 11, 2019 I decided to make sure my wife woke up today with a big smile on her face. Now I'm not allowed to have sharpies in the house anymore.
iamsuperdan Posted April 12, 2019 Posted April 12, 2019 There were two fish in a tank. One says to the other, "Do you know how to drive this thing?"
unclescott58 Posted April 13, 2019 Posted April 13, 2019 Here's an oldie: Why do hummingbirds, hum? Because they can not remember the words.
unclescott58 Posted April 15, 2019 Posted April 15, 2019 A kid was upset that his baseball coach yelled whenever he or a teammate made a mistake. "It's just something coaches do," his mother told him. "It's not personal." His response was hard to argue with: "If it's not personal, then why do they use your name?"
unclescott58 Posted April 16, 2019 Posted April 16, 2019 Does anybody want to buy my old vacuum cleaner? Its just sitting around gathering dust.
unclescott58 Posted April 17, 2019 Posted April 17, 2019 Why does a moon rock taste better than an earth rock? Its just a little meteor.
unclescott58 Posted April 19, 2019 Posted April 19, 2019 One last joke. Since I seem to be the only one here enjoying these, I will quit torturing the rest of you after this last one. This a timely joke. A very old one. And I originally heard it back in either the 1st or 2nd grade. I still like it. April flowers bring May flowers. What do May flowers bring? Pilgrims.
bamadon Posted April 19, 2019 Posted April 19, 2019 I'll add one Scott. Why do cows have bells? Because their horns don't work.
unclescott58 Posted April 20, 2019 Posted April 20, 2019 8 hours ago, bamadon said: I'll add one Scott. Why do cows have bells? Because their horns don't work. Very good. Thank you.
oldnslow Posted April 20, 2019 Posted April 20, 2019 What did the Mama cow say to the little cows that stayed up too late ? " Isn't it pasture bed time ? "
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