Mike999 Posted May 27, 2020 Posted May 27, 2020 On 6/18/2019 at 5:50 PM, JollySipper said: An elderly lady and a young woman were both approaching the apartment building door. The young lady opens the door for the elderly woman, saying "Age before beauty"..... "That's usually the order it happens in" says the older lady..... The great Dorothy Parker was going thru a door, and a woman said "Age before beauty." Parker replied: "And pearls before swine." Parker went to a Halloween party and saw some guests playing a game. She asked the host what they were doing. "They're ducking for apples." "Change one consonant, and you have the story of my life."
Snake45 Posted May 27, 2020 Posted May 27, 2020 4 minutes ago, Mike999 said: The great Dorothy Parker was going thru a door, and a woman said "Age before beauty." Parker replied: "And pearls before swine." Parker went to a Halloween party and saw some guests playing a game. She asked the host what they were doing. "They're ducking for apples." "Change one consonant, and you have the story of my life." I believe I've read that she answered phone, instead of "Hello," with "What fresh Hell is this?" I've been tempted many times to do the same thing. Or at least just pick it up and yell "WHAT??!"
Rodent Posted May 28, 2020 Posted May 28, 2020 1 hour ago, Gumball said: A man walked into a bar... A priest, a rabbi, and a duck walk into a bar. Bartender says, "What is this, some kind of joke?"
iamsuperdan Posted May 28, 2020 Posted May 28, 2020 A priest, a rabbit, and a duck walk into a bar. Bartender says, "What'll it be?" The rabbit says, "Nothing for me, I'm only here because of auto-correct."
iamsuperdan Posted June 11, 2020 Posted June 11, 2020 Not a meme or a corny joke, but there seems to be a rash of naked people in my city. This is from one of the only twitter feeds I pay attention to. YEG Police Scanner Radio. Naked people in the streets is so common, we now have the #nakededmonton hashtag trending. At least once a week, there's a new naked person doing things. It's pretty amusing.
Rodent Posted June 11, 2020 Posted June 11, 2020 Canadians do strange things when the weather gets warm......
Hotrod 97 Posted June 12, 2020 Posted June 12, 2020 Did you hear about the man who lost his entire left side? He’s all right now...
Earl Marischal Posted July 10, 2020 Posted July 10, 2020 Three conspiracy theorists walk into a bar. Coincidence? steve
oldscool Posted July 11, 2020 Posted July 11, 2020 On 6/11/2020 at 10:46 AM, Snake45 said: Sounds like the next "Florida man." Hey! I resemble that remark
iamsuperdan Posted July 16, 2020 Posted July 16, 2020 Mountains aren't just funny... They're hill areas.
Greg Wann Posted July 22, 2020 Posted July 22, 2020 Question: Why did the one armed guy cross the road? Answer: to get to the second hand store.
doorsovdoon Posted July 23, 2020 Posted July 23, 2020 Why did the gorilla get lost? Because Jungle is massive! (sorry, old 90's joke) xD
iamsuperdan Posted November 1, 2020 Posted November 1, 2020 My daughter hit me with a Halloween joke yesterday. "Hey dad, nice ghost costume. You look like sheet." 13, and has the dad jokes down.
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