I was reading a review for a new Broadway play, (Shucked), when the critic mentioned these lines from the show.
" My mama used to say marriage is a lot like a tornado. It starts out with a whole lot of banging & pounding, and ends up with someone losing a house."
" I just passed a huge squirrel, which is odd, because I don't remember eating one."
" If you get drunk before you get your drivers license picture, you'll look normal when you get pulled over."