Sorry to hear. I was a plumber for 26 years. Seen my share of this ugly disease. I grew close to some customers. Had one older fella who always made me sit down and chat with him, always gave me 5 bucks a piece for my kids. He slowly went down hill, his daughter had to put him in a home when he drove his car through the back of his garage. Many other stories i could tell. Each and every one hurts. My mom passed in 2012 from a 10 year battle with cancer. She lived her last 4 months at our house. My 26 yr old son died in 2019 from cancer in a hospital. My point is seeing my mom die at my house verses my son dying in a hospital, the last vision i have of each hurts. But the last place you see some one will be what sticks with you. Right now your memories are good, you remember him in a nice surrounding. If he passes in a hospital that will be your last memory. Enjoy what you have and do not beat yourself up if you can't make it back. It sounds harsh, but watching my son pass in the hospital makes me sick to my stomach everytime i think of it, which is a few times a day. There is no good answer. All you can do is your best. I would not let it beat you up. Keep your fond memories fond. Good luck n god bless.