some corny jokes

[Rodent]

1 hour ago, iamsuperdan said:

My daughter hit me with a Halloween joke yesterday.

 

"Hey dad, nice ghost costume. You look like sheet."

 

13, and has the dad jokes down.

Sending her to college somewhere in The Maritime Provinces?

[Dave Ambrose]

On 11/1/2020 at 4:48 PM, Rodent said:

Sending her to college somewhere in The Maritime Provinces?

Is this the Canadian equivalent to exile in Siberia?

[iamsuperdan]

2 hours ago, Dave Ambrose said:

Is this the Canadian equivalent to exile in Siberia?

Nah, you're thinking of Saskatchewan.

 

The Maritimes are known for potatoes, crazy good fishing, and weird accents. No doot aboot it b'y.

 

[1930fordpickup]

[iamsuperdan]

How do you find Will Smith in the snow?

 

Look for the fresh prints.

 

 

 

[DonW]

My all time favourite:

What did Rommel say to his men before they got into their tanks?

'Get into your tanks, men!'

[unclescott58]

[Chuckyg1]

A man goes to see his doctor. The doctor asks what the problem is. Well doc, I've been having this recurring dream and it's driving me crazy. The doctor asks the man to describe it. Well it starts out with me being a wigwam, then I turn into a tepee. Then I'm a wigwam again, then a tempee. This continues and I switch back and forth between them faster & faster until I wake in a sweat. You gotta help me, I'm going crazy. The doctor says you need to relax, you're two tents.

[Tom Geiger]

An old couple wakes up in the morning and the wife says, “I had a dream last night that I was at K-Mart.

The man replies, “I had a dream that I was with three beautiful women!”

Wife asks, “Was I there?”

Husband, “Nah, you were at K-Mart.” 

[StevenGuthmiller]

Ole and Lena are out for a walk one evening when Lena steps off of a curb and twists her ankle.

"Call for help Ole", Lena exclaims, "I can't walk!"

Ole quickly retrieves his cell phone and dials 911.

"How can I help you?" the 911 operator asks.

"My Lena has broken her foot and can't get up", Ole shouts. "Send help!"

"Where are you?" asks the operator.

"We're on Sycamore street" cries Ole.

"Can you please spell that for me?" asks the operator.

There is an long pause.

Then Ole says, "Hold on a minute. I'll drag her to Elm!"

 

 

 

 

 

Steve

Edited December 16, 2020 by StevenGuthmiller

[unclescott58]

[Nazz]

Scott, is this your dog? Thanks for the laugh. Good to know ours isn't the only one!

 

Jerry

[Venom]

Three guys walk into a bar...the fourth one ducks

[Venom]

What did the pirate say at his birthday?

”I’M EIGHTY!!!”

[unclescott58]