Anyone have this problem?

[Deano]

I've been reading this thread and it got me thinking; I try to be conscientious and always thank those who have sent me parts or given me advice.  That said, things can always slip one's mind and if I have ever neglected to express my thanks or to acknowledge anyone's input, I wish, now, to apologize for the oversight and to profusely thank all those who have helped me.  You're a great bunch of guys!  Really.

 

 

[peteski]

This is about going out of your way to help someone and getting no response in return. I was cussed out by another member (now banned) once upon a time for whining on this subject, but what's your experience?

This has happened 3-4 times to me on this forum. I have sent instructions, rare body parts and reference CDs around the world, at no charge, to members who never bothered to thank me. I was approached over a month ago in a PM for information about building the 1:16 Mercedes SS. I corresponded with him to assess his needs.

- I have massive reference on the 1:1 car and models, and spent about an hour transferring my files onto 2 CDs.

- I drove to the post office and spent about 30 minutes in line, plus $13.00 in postage, to send the CDs to the UK, at no charge to him.

- I sent him the customs number.

- I have asked him 3 times over the past several weeks if he has received the package, with no response.

I've about given up on helping others with my large resources. What would you do?

Large resources? I have to remember you.   I always follow up on my communications and thank for favors. I am more than happy to reimburse the person helping me postage and any other costs they incurred in the process.  I also have mixed experience with people whom I helped. Some are grateful, few never send thanks. I do know how you feel.  But so far, this hasn't stopped me from helping whenever I can.  Maybe that makes me a sucker.

As far as the latest experience goes, maybe the person you were helping died or lost their Internet connection>  Just sayin' ...

[MeatMan]

I have helped others and others have helped me.  Everyone I've helped has thanked me, even letting me know when they received the part.  

One thing I do is look at the discussion history of who I'm sending it to.  I've seen where some guys request a lot of parts, so I'm leery as to whether they are building or selling.

I don't send to frequent requesters.

[MrBuick]

Well, I could even see it if someone sent you something, and you received it, but didn't have a chance to hop on the forum for a few days and you just forgot to sent a "thank you." But, if you've got two or three messages from someone checking to make sure you received everything and it was what you needed, there's really no excuse other than just being inconsiderate. That being said, I guess it's possible that something unexpected came up...out of State\Country travel, health issues, etc, but the more than likely scenario is just "I got what I wanted and that's that."

[keyser]

Post 'em up and we can ALL pm him 

[Cato]

- I have massive reference on the 1:1 car and models, and spent about an hour transferring my files onto 2 CDs.

- I drove to the post office and spent about 30 minutes in line, plus $13.00 in postage, to send the CDs to the UK, at no charge to him.

- I sent him the customs number.

- I have asked him 3 times over the past several weeks if he has received the package, with no response.

I've about given up on helping others with my large resources. What would you do?

I just noticed this so am a little late in responding.

Skip and I have become web friends due to our common interests and over the years I too have been a beneficiary of his expertise and generosity. He has done very similar kindnesses for me. And when possible I have responded to his help in similar manner.

Wishing to aid the character described above, (but before knowing his true demeanor) Skip wrote me and asked if I would render some technical help to him. Mr. B (I'll call him) then PM'd me, and with no preamble, asked blunt technical questions about how I fashioned such and such parts for a Benz he was building. A model that Skip had provided his usual huge tech help about.  I like directness in a new acquaintance so I answered and told him what he asked. I closed by saying to show me results of my direction and feel free to ask should he need more. With the theory that any friend of Skip's is a friend of mine.

Well about a week later, a second PM arrived and with virtually no greeting or mention of the first contact, asking deeper tech questions about how, specifically, I did some things. Again, I went about my usual way of freely giving info and went further and provided several photos of exactly how I performed his desired operation. Again I asked for return feedback, so that I might better help him should he want it. And that was the last of him. Never heard a word. Nice or nasty. Clearly unlike Skip or anyone in Skip's orbit.

I didn't mention this to him because I thought he may have a better relationship with this chap and continued to aid him. Now I see that Skip got the same treatment I did.

Now I'm not a warm fuzzy guy that hugs a cuddly teddy each night but I DO know sincere, well-intentioned folk who are appreciative of assistance  and say so or return a favor. I have built a nice portfolio of web friends who have enriched my modeling experience over the years. And hopefully, I theirs. I will help anyone who asks by first providing the basic info sought. But depending on the / any response, may not give my time or methods so freely past that.

So Mr B, assuming you lurk here because you have not yet finished your colossal, definitive statement on that model, be advised that there are many here unlike you who are only too glad to help a soul. You get more with a carrot than with a stick. And being from the UK does not exempt you from contributing to or appreciating our folks. I have literally dozens of web friends from your country who are expert modelers and fall over themselves to contribute to and enrich a fellow modelers experience.

You are the exception to that rule and obviously don't 'get' the reason forums like this exist.

 

[Casey]

Why is a rant about not being thanked in General Discussion? It only seems fair if other long term members are publicly scolded about not posting in the proper place, all members should receive the same treatment, for the sake of consistency, right?

Oh look, it's deja vu all over again. :

[sjordan2]

Why is a rant about not being thanked in General Discussion? It only seems fair if other long term members are publicly scolded about not posting in the proper place, all members should receive the same treatment, for the sake of consistency, right?

Oh look, it's deja vu all over again. :

Oh, look, it's a reference to an earlier issue I mentioned at the very beginning of this thread. But I didn't stop helping.

In any case, thanks for your comments, Cato. Looks like you ran into the same guy that caused me to start this topic.

 

Edited April 25, 2016 by sjordan2

[Cato]

 Looks like you ran into the same guy that caused me to start this topic.

 

The very same one.

[Maindrian Pace]

Mr. B (I'll call him) then PM'd me, and with no preamble, asked blunt technical questions about how I fashioned such and such parts for a Benz he was building. A model that Skip had provided his usual huge tech help about.  I like directness in a new acquaintance so I answered and told him what he asked. I closed by saying to show me results of my direction and feel free to ask should he need more.

Well about a week later, a second PM arrived and with virtually no greeting or mention of the first contact, asking deeper tech questions about how, specifically, I did some things. Again, I went about my usual way of freely giving info and went further and provided several photos of exactly how I performed his desired operation. Again I asked for return feedback, so that I might better help him should he want it. And that was the last of him. Never heard a word. Nice or nasty.

This exact scenario has happened to me, three times or more, but in the 1:1 car world. Someone will PM or email me with an abrupt technical question, I think to myself, "And you are..." answer it nicely and completely anyway, never get a word of thanks, and he'll do it again a couple of more times until I either ignore him or tell him to ask someone else that doesn't mind rudeness in exchange for generosity. But most folks are very nice and appreciative, and it's noteworthy that I've yet to run into this type in the model world.

[58 Impala]

I've done one trade on this forum and it turned out well. I asked if anyone had the glass and instructions for the Monogram Callaway Corvette. A gentleman in England sent them to me, asking nothing in return. I asked if there was anything he needed/or would like. He said it was hard to get Pegasus wheels over there, so I sent him a couple of sets. There are considerate and grateful people out there.

 

[Cato]

Mike, you used the right word; 'abrupt'. That's the first impression I got too. What these dopes don't realize too, is that by starting a polite or civil relationship and better describing their project or needs, that many of us can give more and better help.

Tom you're right; these type guys are the exception rather than the rule. Especially when a guy from a slightly different culture 3000+ miles away delivers unprompted generosity to you. Happened to me on several occasions and I was only too happy to reciprocate or be generous with gratitude.

Skip and I just got hit by a clinker here.