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Scary Jerry's Crop Duster


Chuck Most

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First, a bit of history-

First off, Jerry bought a restaraunt and decided he needed a mobile business card. He figured an mobile pig roaster would be just the ticket, so surveying his backyard for raw materials, he dug up enough cast-off junk to build this...

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Sadly, Jerry spent a bit too much time giving away free food at events and not nearly enough time charging people money for it at the restaraunt, so he closed up shop. Since he fished a lot, he thought why not sell fresh fish and bait right there at the dock? Needing a vehicle, he once again dipped into his backyard junkpile and produced a refrigerated Lincoln...

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BUT... after a summer of that, Jerry thought sitting out in the sun all day drinking beer wasn't much good for his health, and besides, winter was coming. So- he decided to get into the lumber/firewood business. A few junk vehicles and some of Jerry's Macgyver-like skills, and boom, he had himself a portable saw mill...

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As it turned out, Jerry was a little TOO good at being a lumberjack. After nearly de-foresting all of Gratiot County, Jerry was tied up in the infamous "Lumbergate" scandal. He decided to do the noble thing and step down, but knew he'd not only need a new occupation, but to win back the respect of his neighbors.

A new pest was invading the gardens and fields of Jerry's hometown, and nothing could stop it. No pesticide worked, and remedies which DID kill the pests also killed the plants. After some experimentation in his kitchen, Jerry found a mixture of regular pesticide, salt water, and the liquid wrung from his own dirty gym socks would kill the bugs without hurting the plants. Now, he needed a vehicle to deploy his miracle concoction. I think you can guess what happened next...

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The truck itself was a hodge-podge of Ford F-150 and 250, which Jerry purchased from the local junkyard. The tank is Jerry's old septic tank. (Rid-X is no match for the remnants of Jerry's Taco-Bell-heavy diet!) Jerry made his own boom for spraying fields, and the spray gun is an old power washer part, cloaked in a fake plastic rifle simply because, well, Jerry has a flair for the dramatic. An old lawnmower engine powers the boom nozzles, spray gun, and pressurizes the roof-mounted marker foam barrel. And, of course, the whole thing is soaked in Jerry-caliber rust, dust, and crust. Rumor has it Jerry has no idea what paint looks like...

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