High octane Posted October 4, 2014 Posted October 4, 2014 When I turned 18 and started working full-time and going to school, I was "on my own" as far as money was concerned. My parents just didn't have it. I paid them room & board, paid for my own telephone bills, cars, car insurance, gas, etc.
Tom Geiger Posted October 4, 2014 Posted October 4, 2014 getting out of 4 year colleges hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt What school did you go to? Early on I let both of my daughters know that they were going to college, no ifs ands or buts! I also told them that I would pay 100% for state schools, and if they wanted to go to Harvard, they'd be paying the difference. New Jersey has great colleges and my eldest graduated from Rowan and my younger from Montclair. As a result, both are nicely employed and self sufficient. Cost? About $20k a year... maybe a few more and a few less depending on the year and the living situation. I had saved all their lives, and paid cash for their education. Best investment I ever made. Just saw an article that just twisted my tail. A young lady was complaining that her parents had just informed her that if she wanted to come home for the holidays she was going to have to pay for her own airline ticket. Now she is 27 and makes $40,000 a year. Her complaint centered around the fact that her parents had paid for the ticket all the way through college and for the 4 years after she graduated! The ticket was $200. At what point in a young persons life are they required to grow up and stop sponging off of their parents! As soon as I graduated and went into the military as far as I was concerned, I was on my own. If I wanted to come home, that was on me along with everything else! I am a firm believer in giving a child a good start in life, but after that, it is up to them. I see a lot of the young folks we know that have no income and no plan. Some of them still see themselves as teenagers, still living at home and spending all their money on goodies. Blame the parents. My older daughter never moved back home after college. She just wanted to be on her own and pay her own keep. My younger had no choice, we were moving to PA and she wanted to stay in NJ. They live together in a small house where they pay all their own bills. Neither asks for money, both bought nice cars, and are quite proud they are making their own way.
cobraman Posted October 4, 2014 Posted October 4, 2014 Maybe I'm a sucker. My daughter who finished law school about a year or so ago is working as a lawyer in San Diego. Job is a starter lawyer job and doesn't pay as much as you might think. Not bad but not a ton. My wife and I paid for her car, we pay for her car insurance, pay her phone bill and still send her "care packages" from time to time. We are also paying for half her Obamacare health insurance. She is now 28 but to be honest I really don't mind helping her. She is my daughter and always will be. I feel fortunate to be able to help her. Oh, almost forgot. Helping to pay back the student loans from law school. No wonder I can't afford a Factory 5 Cobra kit car !
slusher Posted October 4, 2014 Posted October 4, 2014 Maybe I'm a sucker. My daughter who finished law school about a year or so ago is working as a lawyer in San Diego. Job is a starter lawyer job and doesn't pay as much as you might think. Not bad but not a ton. My wife and I paid for her car, we pay for her car insurance, pay her phone bill and still send her "care packages" from time to time. We are also paying for half her Obamacare health insurance. She is now 28 but to be honest I really don't mind helping her. She is my daughter and always will be. I feel fortunate to be able to help her. Oh, almost forgot. Helping to pay back the student loans from law school. No wonder I can't afford a Factory 5 Cobra kit car ! What anyone does for their kids is great. I have a 30 year old son who needs help from time to time and he has 4 daughters. I think its much harder out in the world then when I started on my own at 18..
High octane Posted October 4, 2014 Posted October 4, 2014 Carl, I don't know if the world is much harder out there than when we were 18, especially when these kids always seem to have the latest iphone, Xboxes, ipads, money for booze & drugs, money to shop for clothes, and drive decent cars as well. Times certainly ARE different than when we were younger though.
unclescott58 Posted October 4, 2014 Posted October 4, 2014 Carl, I don't know if the world is much harder out there than when we were 18, especially when these kids always seem to have the latest iphone, Xboxes, ipads, money for booze & drugs, money to shop for clothes, and drive decent cars as well. Times certainly ARE different than when we were younger though. I work with High School kids, Nick. And I agree with you. Scott
chunkypeanutbutter Posted October 4, 2014 Posted October 4, 2014 Around here, people live in poverty but feel they need designer clothes, fast cars, new phones, Xboxes... I live in a good house that we own. We have a Ford truck that gets good gas mileage, not a looker, but has seats and a steering wheel and that's what counts. The latest game system I own is a Playstation 2. Actually I have five of them, but I collect them from Goodwill. My iPad? A school system issued one. TV? 35 year old RCA tube TV, works like brand new. I have never owned a cell phone. We pay our taxes. We have no credit cards, never overdraw bank accounts more than a couple bucks. Other people go to Bangor (a little while away from the coast, a bigger city) every week, buy expensive clothes. Own expensive gas-hogging cars, and everyone including their seven-year-old has an iPhone. Own newest game systems with games they don't even play, huge flatscreen TV, sometimes one per room. They have multiple mortgages, overdrawn bank accounts, unpaid taxes, bulging wallets filled with credit cards and not much else. And they live in a beat-up doublewide trailer. Needless to say I'm much more happy with MY life.
charlie8575 Posted October 4, 2014 Posted October 4, 2014 What school did you go to? Early on I let both of my daughters know that they were going to college, no ifs ands or buts! I also told them that I would pay 100% for state schools, and if they wanted to go to Harvard, they'd be paying the difference. New Jersey has great colleges and my eldest graduated from Rowan and my younger from Montclair. As a result, both are nicely employed and self sufficient. Cost? About $20k a year... maybe a few more and a few less depending on the year and the living situation. I had saved all their lives, and paid cash for their education. Best investment I ever made. I see a lot of the young folks we know that have no income and no plan. Some of them still see themselves as teenagers, still living at home and spending all their money on goodies. Blame the parents. My older daughter never moved back home after college. She just wanted to be on her own and pay her own keep. My younger had no choice, we were moving to PA and she wanted to stay in NJ. They live together in a small house where they pay all their own bills. Neither asks for money, both bought nice cars, and are quite proud they are making their own way. I think a lot of the blame does indeed lie with bad parents, or parents who aren't "bad," but certainly don't understand limits. When I was in high school in the early '90s, most of my friends had cars that were at least 8-10 years old, maybe had a little help from their parents for a down payment, but with a couple of exceptions, it was all their deal- maintenance, excise tax, registration, gas, insurance was usually split up because of the expense involved. At MHS, the big fashion statement was Champion sweatshirts. Not real spendy, but more money than Hanes or Russell, to be sure, but not wholly unreasonable, and those were usually worn with turtlenecks and a pair of dungarees. I was the odd-ball (no surprise, there, I know)- I wore button-down shirt and dress pants. I wanted to be taken seriously, so I looked the part. That said, I think the other major problem is schools have become so focused on testing, "standards," "outcome-based learning," and all kinds of other foolish nonsense (remember, folks, I AM a teacher by one of my professions,) that we've forgotten to teach common sense and basic life skills, such as budgeting, saving, and how to make intelligent life choices beyond even money, like college, career, where to live, and on and on. Society has failed our youth in so many respects, it's not funny. Now, the youth fail us not for vicious intent (usually,) but because they know no better. Charlie Larkin
chunkypeanutbutter Posted October 4, 2014 Posted October 4, 2014 Off the top of my head, over the past few years I've done MEA, NWEA, NECAP, and something like Core Common somethingorother tests, all of which are quite unhelpful to learning.
southpier Posted October 4, 2014 Posted October 4, 2014 (edited) interesting comments all. I got out of high school by the skin of my proverbial teeth, bought some tools and went to work. then at 45 I went to a "technical college". then retired this year at 61. but read about "today's college grad" and there's more than a bit of information how an "education" has been sold to them. and once they've invested heavily in all the advanced degrees for marketability, they're straddled with enormous student loans to pay back when the jobs so earnestly studied for are offering little more than minimum wage entry level. most recent example I know (albeit vicariously) was the plumber's physical therapist. she was working her first job after school, and her husband in the final stage of medical school. both were 28 years old and had more than $300,000 in school debt to repay before being at "0". that's a big hole to climb out. no; I don't know how old the plumber is .... Edited October 4, 2014 by southpier
Pete J. Posted October 4, 2014 Posted October 4, 2014 I am not opposed to helping out my kids or others doing the same thing, it is the attitude that someone is "entitled" to support from their parents. You can't walk or run if you can't stand on your own two feet. Learn to live on what you have. Pay your own way and get on with your life. Don't complain the Mommy and Daddy aren't going to pay for your stinkin ticket to come home for the holidays.
chunkypeanutbutter Posted October 4, 2014 Posted October 4, 2014 Also I was just putting some trucks on my skateboard. They were some nice ones I found at Goodwill for about five bucks. As soon as I finished, I noticed a sizable dent and crack in the side of the board!
Ace-Garageguy Posted October 4, 2014 Posted October 4, 2014 I think a lot of the blame does indeed lie with bad parents, or parents who aren't "bad," but certainly don't understand limits. When I was in high school in the early '90s, most of my friends had cars that were at least 8-10 years old, maybe had a little help from their parents for a down payment, but with a couple of exceptions, it was all their deal- maintenance, excise tax, registration, gas, insurance was usually split up because of the expense involved... ...That said, I think the other major problem is schools have become so focused on testing, "standards," "outcome-based learning," and all kinds of other foolish nonsense (remember, folks, I AM a teacher by one of my professions,) that we've forgotten to teach common sense and basic life skills, such as budgeting, saving, and how to make intelligent life choices beyond even money, like college, career, where to live, and on and on. Society has failed our youth in so many respects, it's not funny. Now, the youth fail us not for vicious intent (usually,) but because they know no better. Charlie Larkin In large measure, I see the "society" that's failed today's youth as being primarily my own generation. Somehow, all the socially-engaged and aware protesters I knew in my teens and 20s who wanted to save the world grew up to be self-centered strivers for material success, and neglected a lot of the "old-fashioned" family responsibilities like teaching kids the value of honesty, work, and knowledge. And somewhere, BS-speak concepts like "outcome-based-learning" (which I label BS, as the "outcome" is a bunch of kids who can't make change or understand fractions...or even write legibly and coherently) made their way into educators' minds, replacing proven concepts like adding, subtracting, reading, and spelling. I don't understand how the entire educational system seems to be operating completely devoid of anything approaching common sense. How is this possible?
chunkypeanutbutter Posted October 4, 2014 Posted October 4, 2014 Don't even ask me how many kids in my classes have problems with fractions....
KingSix Posted October 4, 2014 Posted October 4, 2014 My beef of the day... My schedule was to work from home today. Boss emailed me yesterday that he wanted to meet. My Caravan is in the shop so I drive ancient Geo Tracker all the way to NJ. I get here and find out he called in sick! So I drove three hr round trip for nothing! Off hand, I'd say that you're boss is kind of a jerk ?
crazyjim Posted October 4, 2014 Posted October 4, 2014 Best 18th birthday present? Luggage. Fill it and get out on your own.
southpier Posted October 4, 2014 Posted October 4, 2014 good utube entitled "the G...D... hippies were right". pretty much validates their values and how many of them came to be part of today's society without the longhairs getting credit - just big businesses. always contended that reefer wouldn't be legal until it could be taxed like alcohol.
Danno Posted October 5, 2014 Posted October 5, 2014 Don't even ask me how many kids in my classes have problems with fractions.... 7 out of 5?
Danno Posted October 5, 2014 Posted October 5, 2014 Maybe I'm a sucker. My daughter who finished law school about a year or so ago is working as a lawyer in San Diego. Job is a starter lawyer job and doesn't pay as much as you might think. Not bad but not a ton. My wife and I paid for her car, we pay for her car insurance, pay her phone bill and still send her "care packages" from time to time. We are also paying for half her Obamacare health insurance. She is now 28 but to be honest I really don't mind helping her. She is my daughter and always will be. I feel fortunate to be able to help her. Oh, almost forgot. Helping to pay back the student loans from law school. No wonder I can't afford a Factory 5 Cobra kit car ! Would you consider adopting a son, kinda older than most adoptees, but house-broken son with good manners?
Guest Posted October 5, 2014 Posted October 5, 2014 Don't even ask me how many kids in my classes have problems with fractions.... 7 out of 5? LOL!
Danno Posted October 5, 2014 Posted October 5, 2014 In large measure, I see the "society" that's failed today's youth as being primarily my own generation. Somehow, all the socially-engaged and aware protesters I knew in my teens and 20s who wanted to save the world grew up to be self-centered strivers for material success, and neglected a lot of the "old-fashioned" family responsibilities like teaching kids the value of honesty, work, and knowledge. And somewhere, BS-speak concepts like "outcome-based-learning" (which I label BS, as the "outcome" is a bunch of kids who can't make change or understand fractions...or even write legibly and coherently) made their way into educators' minds, replacing proven concepts like adding, subtracting, reading, and spelling. I don't understand how the entire educational system seems to be operating completely devoid of anything approaching common sense. How is this possible? In one word: NEA.
High octane Posted October 5, 2014 Posted October 5, 2014 They just had a bit on tonight's late news that more and more of today's teenagers are being struck by vehicles, because the pedestrians are too distracted with their precious iphones or their ear-buds. How could that be??? You mean to tell me that they are not safe to cross the streets on their own Back in the 50's we had streets and vehicles, and our parents taught us to cross at the intersections, and to look both ways before doing so. Aren't those instructions valid anymore? I think that pedestrians should carry insurance, because they cannot take responsibility when crossing the streets. Yeah right, like that's gonna happen.
chunkypeanutbutter Posted October 5, 2014 Posted October 5, 2014 They just had a bit on tonight's late news that more and more of today's teenagers are being struck by vehicles, because the pedestrians are too distracted with their precious iphones or their ear-buds. How could that be??? You mean to tell me that they are not safe to cross the streets on their own Back in the 50's we had streets and vehicles, and our parents taught us to cross at the intersections, and to look both ways before doing so. Aren't those instructions valid anymore? I think that pedestrians should carry insurance, because they cannot take responsibility when crossing the streets. Yeah right, like that's gonna happen. Natural selection at work. Do stupid stuff and pay the consequences. Sure, I enjoy my Nintendo, but I don't play it crossing the d--n street!
Joe Handley Posted October 5, 2014 Posted October 5, 2014 They just had a bit on tonight's late news that more and more of today's teenagers are being struck by vehicles, because the pedestrians are too distracted with their precious iphones or their ear-buds. How could that be??? You mean to tell me that they are not safe to cross the streets on their own Back in the 50's we had streets and vehicles, and our parents taught us to cross at the intersections, and to look both ways before doing so. Aren't those instructions valid anymore? I think that pedestrians should carry insurance, because they cannot take responsibility when crossing the streets. Yeah right, like that's gonna happen. Judging by what I've seen driving through Geneva, I'm not sure if kids are being taught that, or maybe their parents were never taught that considering the ages of the ADULTS I've seen do that when going to and from work. Another problem is that if somebody's kid gets hit doing something like that, it's not the fault of the child or the parent, it's the fault of the person that hit them for not stopping in time or swerving to avoid their precious child........even if it's a loaded freight train on a single track with no siding and the engineer is hard on the horn and brakes while the person who gets hit is too busy ignoring what's going on around them to notice anything important.
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