What Cracked You Up Today?

[Ace-Garageguy]

4 hours ago, Rodent said:

Killer sale on incense for people who don't math very well.

I'd pay a dollar to see the savings worked out using the convoluted gibberish they teach as arithmetic in Common Core.

[slusher]

Some people wouldn’t catch the 2 cent difference but actually think they’re getting a bargain..

[johnyrotten]

Workplace goings-on cracked me up today. 

[Falcon Ranchero]

Yesterday at school my friend payed $2 for bag of popcorn from the vending machine only to have it get stuck behind the glass. He tried banging the top of the machine and it moved a little but then it wouldn't budge. We left down the hall to look back and see the horizontally challenged kid who was behind us at the vending machine buy the bag behind the stuck one so he got a 2 for 1 deal. We totally saw that coming it was hilarous. 

Edited February 21 by Falcon Ranchero

[Ace-Garageguy]

4 minutes ago, Falcon Ranchero said:

We left down the hall to look back and see the fat kid who was behind us at the vending machine buy the bag behind the stuck one so he got a 2 for 1 deal. 

Sorry...you can't say that. It's "dimensionally exaggerated" or "differently massed" or something like that, anyway.

[Falcon Ranchero]

54 minutes ago, Ace-Garageguy said:

Sorry...you can't say that. It's "dimensionally exaggerated" or "differently massed" or something like that, anyway.

Oh yeah you're right I forgot; made the change 👍

[JollySipper]

I've got this kat that lives across the parking lot in the complex here......... He has three cars out front, all of which need special attention to start. One he has to jump the battery every time, one that always has a flat, and one he must talk to like it's Christine or something..... Anyways, the funny thing is, he's had the rear wheel off of his woman's car every day this week! He'll remove it, drive it up town to somewhere (maybe McDonalds? ), then come back and put it back on.......... I tell people that he is such a good mechanic, that his cars break down just to be worked on!

[89AKurt]

The first can of beans I pulled off the shelf, seriously, Twilight Zone.  I need to purge the pantry (along with the wood shop, emails, backyard, wood pile, etc.) because I've found WAY PAST dates!

[peteski]

What a coincidence Kurt!

But the situation is not that grim.  We have discussed food packaging's "best by" dates, and those are really just a suggestion of a date where the food will be as flavorful as the day it was packed.  If the can is sealed, the contents will still be good for some years to come. It's not like it instantly spoils or becomes poisonous the day after the "best by" date.  I have eaten food from long "expired" cans, and it was still quite tasty (and I'm still around to tell about it).

 

As for what cracked me  up, just when I thought I saw it  all, I have encountered a bicyclist on a busy street today.  The temps here are quite cold and there are snow banks at the sides of the road. This time of the year there aren't many bicyclists riding around on the streets.  As I was approaching I saw their both of their arms flailing in the air as if they were riding with their hands off the handle bar.  I thought that it was a silly thing to do since they were riding very close to the snow bank on the side of the road.

As I got closer I saw the reason for their flailing arms - that person was riding a large unicycle!!  Those have no handle bars! They were using their arms for balance. I made sure to stay as far away from them as I passed.  It was a rather large unicycle with a good size wheel with a fat tire (like ones on mountain bikes). The tire was also rather low in air.  They were traveling at a pretty good clip.  I will likely never see anything like that for the rest of my life.

Edited February 23 by peteski

[espo]

On 2/22/2025 at 2:34 PM, 89AKurt said:

The first can of beans I pulled off the shelf, seriously, Twilight Zone.  I need to purge the pantry (along with the wood shop, emails, backyard, wood pile, etc.) because I've found WAY PAST dates!

Looks a lot like some of the cans on the local markets shelf. I have found products that are 60 to 90 days over their best by date often. 

[89AKurt]

On 2/22/2025 at 9:57 PM, peteski said:

What a coincidence Kurt!

But the situation is not that grim.  We have discussed food packaging's "best by" dates, and those are really just a suggestion of a date where the food will be as flavorful as the day it was packed.  If the can is sealed, the contents will still be good for some years to come. It's not like it instantly spoils or becomes poisonous the day after the "best by" date.  I have eaten food from long "expired" cans, and it was still quite tasty (and I'm still around to tell about it).

 

As for what cracked me  up, just when I thought I saw it  all, I have encountered a bicyclist on a busy street today.  The temps here are quite cold and there are snow banks at the sides of the road. This time of the year there aren't many bicyclists riding around on the streets.  As I was approaching I saw their both of their arms flailing in the air as if they were riding with their hands off the handle bar.  I thought that it was a silly thing to do since they were riding very close to the snow bank on the side of the road.

As I got closer I saw the reason for their flailing arms - that person was riding a large unicycle!!  Those have no handle bars! They were using their arms for balance. I made sure to stay as far away from them as I passed.  It was a rather large unicycle with a good size wheel with a fat tire (like ones on mountain bikes). The tire was also rather low in air.  They were traveling at a pretty good clip.  I will likely never see anything like that for the rest of my life.

I know.  But another thing that cracked me up, was seeing expiration dates on bottles of water.  It's recommended to keep emergency water on hand, so I have collected 2.5 gal. bottles.  I'm finding out that the plastic used is self destructing because of the UV rays, when a bottle is moved, and gets a dent, that creates a crack!  I need to make a note, get heavy duty water containers!

I've seen a unicycle on a single track trail. 😳

[peteski]

1 hour ago, 89AKurt said:

I know.  But another thing that cracked me up, was seeing expiration dates on bottles of water.  It's recommended to keep emergency water on hand, so I have collected 2.5 gal. bottles.  I'm finding out that the plastic used is self destructing because of the UV rays, when a bottle is moved, and gets a dent, that creates a crack!  I need to make a note, get heavy duty water containers!

I've seen a unicycle on a single track trail. 😳

Keep your water in cool dark place. No UV rays! 

Unicycle on a rail trail seems reasonable. But one on a 2-lane town street with no sidewalk and with snow bank ending right at the edge of the travel lane (no shoulder) seems a but risky thing to do (even on a standard 2-wheel bike). Speed limit is 35 MPH but we all know that nobody travels under 40.  Luckily I passed them on a straight part of the road with no oncoming traffic, but the road does does have low visibility curves.   While it cracked me up, it also seems very irresponsible.

[johnyrotten]

Came home to see my dog Harper staring out of the bathroom widow. That only means one thing,  she shut herself in there. The bathroom was thoroughly destroyed. You just gotta laugh at them sometimes. Smooth brains.

[JollySipper]

So, how exactly DO you glue on chrome pie? For some reason I thought of Bill............ 

 

[Ace-Garageguy]

39 minutes ago, JollySipper said:

So, how exactly DO you glue on chrome pie? For some reason I thought of Bill............ 

Mmmmmmmm...chrome pie.      

[TonyK]

Have an order coming by UPS that said it would be here Friday which is fine. Two days ago got an email saying the delivery date has been changed to Thursday. That's nice. Now I get an email saying it's been changed back to Friday. LOL

[Monty]

On 12/19/2024 at 6:44 PM, HomerS said:

Frank (our Dachshund) is a food mooch fan moreso than my other two dogs.  He was staring at me eating my burger so I gave him a clump of blue cheese that had fallen off.  Yeah he was kinda rethinking that one!  He still ate it but the look on his face was like giving a small child a Sour Patch Kid candy.....

My second Dachshund was a table beggar too until we started noticing he was starting to gain weight (not a good thing for Dachshunds).  He seemed to be working off the theory that people food is better than any dog food, so I made sure I had copious amounts of lettuce on the table and let him have some whenever we ate.  I can't imagine a dog liking that stuff, be he seemed to.  

 

[peteski]

33 minutes ago, Monty said:

My second Dachshund was a table beggar too until we started noticing he was starting to gain weight (not a good thing for Dachshunds).  He seemed to be working off the theory that people food is better than any dog food, so I made sure I had copious amounts of lettuce on the table and let him have some whenever we ate.  I can't imagine a dog liking that stuff, be he seemed to.  

 

My GF's dogs like all  sort of veggies.  They love Iceberg lettuce and also eat radishes, cucumbers, peas carrots, green beans, etc.  She actually mixes thawed frozen veggies in with their regular dog food and they clean their dishes.  Once of them is funny - eats the meaty bits first, then the veggies.  If she decides not to finish the veggies, the other 2 dogs clean them up!  They also like fruit like watermelon, blueberries and peaches.

[NOBLNG]

On 5/10/2025 at 4:44 PM, JollySipper said:

So, how exactly DO you glue on chrome pie? For some reason I thought of Bill............ 

 

It’s best to use a vegetable based glue.