I'm sorry your struggling so much right now. Unfortunately this is your reality. I'd like to give you a little encouragement though. I've been medically disabled for 19 years. It's not fun, and my activity is severely limited. I adapted, and you will too. I relate to all of your doctor appointments, sometimes we feel like lab rats. And for disability, I'm not sure how it works in Illinois, but here in California I applied for state disability and got it pretty quickly. Social Security disability came after state ran out. It was a difficult, tiring and humbling experience. The process is an exercise in perseverance. It took almost 2 years from my initial application, but I never gave up and looked at it as it was my "new job". I did it Harry, you can too. Just never give up.