NYLIBUD Posted February 8, 2019 Posted February 8, 2019 So I have a friend helping me out on my car.I pay him cash,but once in awhile I'll give him a model,or supplies.Well the other day I wanted to really show my appreciation for his work.So I took a Yenko Nova,1/18th scale,out of my stash,and just gave it to him..The next day I get a call from my buddy.He asks how much did I pay for the Nova.I told him I couldn't remember exactly.Then he states it's a GMP product,and he tried to explain the difference between one of GMP cars vs.any other diecast.He then starts ripping into the model.So instead of being a good friend,and all,he starts to complain about the car.He said Yenkos had this,but not these.The car was red,he added that the hood is the only thing that opens.But this wrong and that is wrong..So as a joke,I said do u want me to take the model back.Well he actually said yes I can have it back So are you kidding me.I Try to do something nice for a friend,and he throws it back in my face.I told him to just keep it,I don't take returns..And now our friendship isn't gonna be the same.Do a favor for someone,and they complain,instead of being happy and grateful.Ah whatever,he won't be getting a small tokens of my appreciation??...No way,not anymore.
NYLIBUD Posted February 8, 2019 Author Posted February 8, 2019 34 minutes ago, High octane said: Sometimes yah just can't win. Yup your right.
Bucky Posted February 8, 2019 Posted February 8, 2019 I don't think he would work on my car, anymore, either!!
Oldcarfan27 Posted February 8, 2019 Posted February 8, 2019 Sometimes it seems like it just doesn't pay to be nice. Oh well, at least you meant well. Maybe you should have SOLD it to him!
peteski Posted February 8, 2019 Posted February 8, 2019 Weird! Maybe he was expecting cash? Or was that above and beyond the normal reimbursement you give him?
disabled modeler Posted February 8, 2019 Posted February 8, 2019 I have been in that spot before too...some people just cant appreciate anything or a kind gesture . Me I have learned many years ago to appreciate everything no matter how large or small it might be. I have had others send me one wheel cover for one of my old ones I need parts for and needing a set for it one is better than none and I appreciated it very much..and let them know I did...some people just dont get it...???
cobraman Posted February 8, 2019 Posted February 8, 2019 I don't know the man but he sounds a little ungrateful to me.
NYLIBUD Posted February 8, 2019 Author Posted February 8, 2019 9 hours ago, peteski said: Weird! Maybe he was expecting cash? Or was that above and beyond the normal reimbursement you give him? Oh yea,I paid him cash.He is out of work,so I throw him as many little jobs I can come up with too help him out.Then I just decided to throw in the diecast car as extra thank you.And yes,Cobraman,he has been pretty definitely ungrateful lately,which is not like him...But It was when he said I can have it back if I want that got me the most upset..Come on that's not cool.You just supposed to be quiet,and thankful,and just Except a FREE diecast Yenko Nova.And be done with it.
Lunajammer Posted February 8, 2019 Posted February 8, 2019 I'd have taken it back when he offered, no harm, no foul. It was a gift that I assume you presented unconditionally, which means he's not obligated to appreciate it. If he doesn't appreciate it and says "thanks anyway" then it's done. Certainly not a bridge burner.
StevenGuthmiller Posted February 8, 2019 Posted February 8, 2019 (edited) 1 hour ago, Lunajammer said: I'd have taken it back when he offered, no harm, no foul. It was a gift that I assume you presented unconditionally, which means he's not obligated to appreciate it. If he doesn't appreciate it and says "thanks anyway" then it's done. Certainly not a bridge burner. I would agree with that if he would have said “thanks anyway” and left it at that. But I guess I’m just a little too old fashioned in thinking that when someone offers you a gift, you either accept it, or not, without making a production out of complaining about it first. That’s just bad manners, period! Steve Edited February 8, 2019 by StevenGuthmiller
Jim N Posted February 8, 2019 Posted February 8, 2019 Often when people lash out like this, and it is out of character, it has nothing to do with you, but something else he may be going through. If the friendship is worth saving, it may be worth the time to see what caused the over reaction. If not, there will always be others that will appreciate your generosity.
NYLIBUD Posted February 8, 2019 Author Posted February 8, 2019 (edited) 1 hour ago, Lunajammer said: I'd have taken it back when he offered, no harm, no foul. It was a gift that I assume you presented unconditionally, which means he's not obligated to appreciate it. If he doesn't appreciate it and says "thanks anyway" then it's done. Certainly not a bridge burner. Oh No he was thrilled when I gave him the model.I certainly was not going to take it back.It wasn't till the next day,when he opened it,and he started to complain about the quality of the car....Ah whatever,no big deal.Sometimes you think you know someone pretty well,and then then bam,they pull that garbage..Well one thing is for sure,he won't be getting anymore gifts from me.I basically told him to shut up,open the hood,and throw it on one of his shelves.And dust it once in awhile.End of story. Edited February 8, 2019 by NYLIBUD
ewetwo Posted February 8, 2019 Posted February 8, 2019 (edited) I don't know how old you are. But I'm over 60 and was brought up in a totally different world than what we have now. We use to take our cars to our neighbors business to support him as it was a small garage in town. We were friends and all. Had dinner at times. Then they hired another friend of ours son to help out. Our friend's son told his parents that the guy charges his customers according to how much money he thought each customer earned for a living. So at a party at their house. Another person complained because he had charged her $100 to replace the rear struts on her Nissan. I said "well you made out because I just paid $275 to him for the rear struts to be replaced in my Mercury Topaz! A decision was made then. Either we would be friends and not patronize their garage. Or become customers. We chose the first and even though we stopped going there. We still get together. Maybe try that with your friend. Edited February 11, 2019 by ewetwo
NYLIBUD Posted February 8, 2019 Author Posted February 8, 2019 Well I'm not going to let some little toy get in the way of our friendship.I just thought he had a lot of nerve in what he did.So I cursed him out,like guys do,and everything is cool now.
stitchdup Posted February 8, 2019 Posted February 8, 2019 58 minutes ago, NYLIBUD said: Well I'm not going to let some little toy get in the way of our friendship.I just thought he had a lot of nerve in what he did.So I cursed him out,like guys do,and everything is cool now. From what you've said it sounds like he may be suffering from depression. It does funny things to people and appearing ungrateful can be a symptom
Tom Geiger Posted February 8, 2019 Posted February 8, 2019 Ya know, life is too short to be ticked off. Back when my kids were young it was our friends kid’s birthday and we gave the little tyke a gift. He opens it and proclaims to everyone, “Dis is garbage!” Everyone was taken back and his parents were embarrassed. We laughed it off. To this day when my wife, daughters and I exchange gifts, one of us will mimic “Dis is garbage!” in a little kid voice and we’ll all laugh.
OldTrucker Posted February 10, 2019 Posted February 10, 2019 On 2/8/2019 at 3:48 PM, NYLIBUD said: Well I'm not going to let some little toy get in the way of our friendship.I just thought he had a lot of nerve in what he did.So I cursed him out,like guys do,and everything is cool now. Glad to hear that! I've learned in my 60+ years not to sweat the little things in life. Life is too short as it is and friends get fewer as we get older.
NYLIBUD Posted February 10, 2019 Author Posted February 10, 2019 Your absolutely right Trucker Thanks
slusher Posted February 11, 2019 Posted February 11, 2019 Just let it go as a bump in the road. You will be a better man for it.........
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