ChrisBcritter

Seen here:

Late to the party, but I've written quite a few song parodies for my car club over the years as part of the entertainment at our annual meet awards show. I was heavily influenced by Allan Sherman and the gang of idiots at MAD Magazine. This was my first effort, for a '70s disco-themed event, sung to the tune of "Disco Inferno": Out for a drive My new Pinto '75 Plaid seats, vinyl roof y'all And a Sports Accent Group! I shifted to Park It jumped into Reverse Backed into a dump truck Think I'm gonna need a hearse I heard somebody say burn, baby burn Pinto Inferno! Burn, baby burn Burn that mother down Burn, baby burn Pinto Inferno! Burn, baby burn Burn that mother down This contraption Blew up like a chain reaction Now I got the blues Wish I had asbestos shoes My 8-track's melting My tires turned to dust Shoulda bought a Vega That's a car you can trust (Refrain) Call Ralph Nader! This car's an incinerator I must've been a nut To buy a car that self-destructs I towed it home My cruisin' days are through Stuck it in the backyard Now I use it for a barbecue (Refrain, then) Burn, baby burn Pinto Inferno! Burn, baby burn It's a lotta fun Burn, baby burn Pinto Inferno! Burn, baby burn Cooks your burgers well done! Got several more of 'em, like "Hybrid" (Cher's "Halfbreed"), "Can't Stand Bandstand" ("Bandstand Boogie"), and the Tom Jones Pontiac Trilogy "What's New, Pontiac?"/"She's a Grand Prix"/"Fiero"...

I thought they were good for you?

Tattoos that say "Mom" on one's bicep were very popular with sailors.

and Eliot Ness

Location, location and location are the three most important things to watch out for when investing in real estate.

"Brah, la la how the life goes on" sang Desmond and Molly.

Like the rest, I built the Badman when I was a kid, and even then I knew it must have been modified from a stocker (the frame still having its upper A-arms plus the mounting points for the lower suspension tipped me off). More recently I experimented with making red and clear resin taillights for it. The modeling masochist in me keeps nagging to take the drivetrain and other drag parts from the Badman and Frankenstein them into one of these Hachette diecast Opel Rekords: Tough parts would be (a) sawing open the hood and (b) making the word "SCHLECHTERMANN" fit on the quarter panels.

That was Arte Johnson; Artie Shaw was the bandleader. I think the Cowboy might have been successful for AMC in Australia as a Ute (and maybe with their subsidiary in South Africa as well).

I worked for over twelve years as a proofreader for a large printing company in Los Angeles. My greatest moment was when I caught a lawyer's name that was misspelled on a proof of an expensive engraved announcement card. The lawyer's name was supposed to be spelled Fick.

Radio legend John Landecker ruled the airwaves in Chicago on WLS during the 1970s, and his middle name was Records.

and sour chicken

Menagerie by Tennessee

Cold War Motors for me. Low-key fun without the hype and Scott does amazing work; right now he's splicing together a '60 Impala using a very rotten coupe and a less rusty Biscayne sedan.

she'll dispense tokens

Better '66 Mustangs are equipped with Rally Pacs and Pony interiors.

Second image is from Robert Altman's haunting film 3 Women, co-starring Sissy Spacek and Janice Rule as the other two women.

Tootsie Roll center

President was a popular model name for Studebaker since the 1930s, but Dictator fell out of favor well before WWII and was replaced by Commander.

when tabs break

Some folks like 'em - like my boss who has this one and a parts car:

Bondage? That's kinky!

OK Used Cars were sold in Chicago by Z Frank Chevrolet.

Bands like The Crayz and What? were ones I used to print tickets for forty years ago; haven't heard of them since.