Our hobby to our wife

[bobss396]

My late wife HATED the hobby with a passion. She would rather had me working on the house if I was not working my 2 or 3 jobs. I was also taking 2 courses a semester at a local college, at night.

I worked myself into a nervous breakdown by age 38 and needed to do something for myself. I got down to just 2 jobs and took a few years off from my classes. Around 1994 I dusted off a few old kits and got going again.

Really, some women are not that smart about what we like to do. She KNEW where I was and what I was doing. My brother's wife was of a similar mind. She held the purse strings tightly, I had more of a disposable income. Yet I was always asked, "how much did that cost?". 

[NOBLNG]

My wife loves Mustangs and appreciates most muscle cars and hotrods. She thinks I have too many kits (at around 100?) because I’ll never build them all (I’ll show her?). But she likely figures that it’s the lesser of many evils? Like CaddyDaddy, if I show her some (in my mind) great achievement, I’ll get a “that’s nice” or an “Oh, Ok…”?.

Edited February 2, 2024 by NOBLNG

[TransAmMike]

14 hours ago, JollySipper said:

Happy Anniversary!  

Thanks TJ!!

[atomicholiday]

My wife is glad that I have a hobby and that it’s one that keeps me home.  She also enjoys looking at my stash and all the cool box art.

She’s not as happy about my spending.  My fault.  I’ve gotten a little crazy with kit purchases over the past year or so.  She won’t stop me, but I can tell when she’s mad about it.

[espo]

6 hours ago, NYLIBUD said:

Yea see there ya go.Did anyone else suggest trying very hard to sharing our hobby with our wives?Thats what its all about.And hey,there’s hobbies i have that she’s never shared with me.And she has hobbies that I do not share with her.I mean I like cars,& fishing?,& she likes clothes shopping.So there you go.?Hey hang onto that gal sir.I think most of us know how difficult it is to find a gal like that.?‍♂️?.Isn't there a few woman on this site?If so,i wonder how they feel about things.?

Thanks Ron. We were both married before, and we have come to realize the things that you can and can't accept from someone you wish to spend the rest of your life with. We got married in 1985 and we still enjoy each other's company. We have been there for each other through the good times and the bad and life can through in some real bad at times, but we have faced it together and are still going strong. 

[CA Whitecloud]

 My wife is accepting and even encouraging of my hobby. She knows that it helps me keep my sanity in check. I spent a good amount of cash the past couple years getting my bench stocked and equipped coming off a years long hiatus. I have a minimal stash of kits but just added five last night during some insomni-shopping. She giggles when I make a fuss about every small success and commiserates when I flub up. Even when I complain that I need more space for a spray booth set up (yet to happen) she says "I know you do honey". She is quick to point out the flaws that I, of course, already know are there ?.

One thing that irks me is she doesn't want me building military "WAR" kits as she calls them. I grew up building mostly planes and as we know there are not many airplane kits out there that aren't military. I was never in the service myself, Mom made me go to college instead, so I have no specific connection to any branch or unit. But I love building me a sexy fighter jet. Oh well, I'll make the sacrifice. My biggest issue is finding places for my finished builds. They're not always display worthy, but I can't just toss them. Anyway, 23 years and still glued seamlessly.

Edited February 2, 2024 by CA Whitecloud

[Horrorshow]

My wife is very supportive and encouraged me to get back into the hobby. 

[daveb7153]

My wife is also very supportive,and sometimes even helps out when I need it "3 hands". Occasionally though, I do get asked why I need another model kit when I have all those unbuilt ones in my modeling room.?

[slusher]

On 2/1/2024 at 7:55 PM, Vettegasser said:

Well this has been a real eye opening conversation. It started out all good with me even encouraged it  Now it’s like your buying too many my collection only numbers 150. So I don’t see that as a big deal over a 12 year period.  Thanks for all your input 

Show her stash post sections on here….

[slusher]

My wife supports my hobby as I did it when we met in 92".   Now she still supports it and made me a paint spread sheet and dash decal spread sheet. I had a neighbor who ebayer who sold stuff. I had her sell a bunch of my kits a regret. I have 60 kits never says anything about what I want or get. She does call some of my girl figures tramps when I get one for a car in the wall display case. We will be married 30. Years the 19 of February. She has started buying kits at HL when I don’t feel like going. We are still very close after 30 years…

[bobss396]

I never took a dime out of the household money to support the hobby. I sold kits at shows and on eBay, did a side business doing machined parts and worked at other machine shops. I would get called in to do certain types of work. So I tended to have a few dollars on me all the time.

I was out doing a mini hobby shop crawl with my brother maybe 20 years ago. This is when we still had a good number of shops around. We were at one and my brother saw something he wanted. He picks up his phone, he wanted to call his wife to see if was okay to take $20 from an ATM. I stopped him, pulled out my cash-stash and asked him how much he needed.

He says, WHERE DID YOU GET THAT? I told him I never walked around with less than $300 on me. Reality was, I had maybe $100 on me. He turned down my offer and called his wife. Then about a week later, his wife talked with mine, told her I was walking around with a big sum of cash. Of course poop rolls downhill and I got the 3rd degree. My wife for years accused me of having a hidden "slush fund". She was right, but never took into account I always had money when she needed to pay a bill.

That was then. I have been dating the same lady for going on 7 years, she is very supportive towards the hobby and always likes when I show her something cool that I made. She was thrilled when I showed her MCM #220 with one of my cars in it. She goes to shows with me now and then.

[NOBLNG]

9 hours ago, slusher said:

Show her stash post sections on here….

My wife is supportive, but when I’ve showed her pictures of HUGE collections, I kinda get the stink-eye….as in don’t even go there!? I still like to show them to her now and again to illustrate how frugal I am.?

[Vettegasser]

Yea I never take money from bills. I’ve always tryed for her to have and do the things she’s wants. I’ve completely remodeled our house granite countertops and all. We own an 04 Winnebago. So I don’t feel me having and buying models should be an issue. Yea she knew about my hobby from the first date. 

[NYLIBUD]

I was just curious,I wonder how many women out there are model builders.While their better half are not.I have a friend,his main interests has always been sports.Soccer,football,baseball,basketball,etc.While his wife is the “better” model builder in the family.And dam she can build.As a matter a fact that’s how i met her.We met each other at a model car show,started talking,and have been friends ever since.I introduced her to my buddy a few years ago,and they just hit it off.Now,they are married,and both are builders.However,she is still a better builder than both of us.?‍♂️

[Dave Ambrose]

My wife supports my hobby. She even helps with working the shows if the magazine is there. Two of my kids build too, so she might have less choice than she'd like. ?  I don't have the mega-stashes that some people have, but we're both feeling like it's big enough. She has requested that I build more models than I buy, and this seems like a good idea to me. 

[Rodent]

There are maybe 100 times more books than models in this house, just sayin......

No complaints about the models, some complaints about the books.

[bobss396]

My kids built when they were younger. From age 7 to about age 14. It was lots of fun and they won junior awards at shows. But they grew out of it, I think they had no patience or I scared them, lol.

[Bills72sj]

14 hours ago, bobss396 said:

My kids built when they were younger. From age 7 to about age 14. It was lots of fun and they won junior awards at shows. But they grew out of it, I think they had no patience or I scared them, lol.

I got two of my boys to do a couple. They like being with me but I think the work-to-reward factor was not as satisfying as video games.

[Bugatti Fan]

Model making woman is a very rare species.

The arts, crafts and sculpture side of hobbying appeals more to them to give  vent to their creativity. 

Model making subjects generally to most women are boring. 

Cars and figures  might be the occasional exception. But aircraft, AFV, warship and sci fi are a bit of a no no as far as most women are concerned.

The freeform of art, crafts and sculpture creating something is more in their psyche than replicating accurately a full size subject in miniature and the research involved.

Edited May 6 by Bugatti Fan

[johnyrotten]

23 hours ago, Bugatti Fan said:

Model making woman is a very rare species.

The arts, crafts and sculpture side of hobbying appeals more to them to give  vent to their creativity

True statement. My wife has built a few and she enjoys it, but her primary hobby is crafting and sewing. I remember her saying she felt intimidated when starting her first one, now she's built up a small stash of her own, mostly vehicles her grandparents and father had. I think the emotional connection there is why she builds them.

[James2]

Happy wife, happy life. If you are married, wife should be most important. Anything that she feels takes her place is a threat to her emotional system. My wife is supportive and is generally happy with my hobby. That in mind I use the bench time wisely....

[Bugatti Fan]

Marry any woman who dislikes your hobby no matter what interest you have is signing up to a life of misery.

[johnyrotten]

2 hours ago, Bugatti Fan said:

Marry any woman who dislikes your hobby no matter what interest you have is signing up to a life of misery.

Could have used this advice 20-odd years ago.

[peteski]

Playing forum's psychiatrist, that to me sounds like it is more than just dislike of spouse's hobbies - the problem seems to be rooted much deeper.  There is also a difference between actively disliking and just being passively uninterested.

Edited May 6 by peteski

[Ace-Garageguy]

11 hours ago, Bugatti Fan said:

Marry any woman who dislikes your hobby no matter what interest you have is signing up to a life of misery.

 

8 hours ago, johnyrotten said:

Could have used this advice 20-odd years ago.

 

1 hour ago, peteski said:

Playing forum's psychiatrist, that to me sounds like it is more than just dislike of spouse's hobbies - the problem seems to be rooted much deeper.  There is also a difference between actively disliking and just being passively uninterested.

I have found that for me, the only possible long-term partner is a woman who has her OWN creative and constructive interests, and doesn't derive her sense of security or identity or importance solely from being the center of someone else's attention.

Women who have their OWN interests...and I don't mean collecting shoes or pool-boys...understand that a man's hobby is NOT A THREAT, and they appreciate their OWN time just as much as a man who has varied interests does.

They also understand that trying to run a man's life is the surest way to make one who's worth having start looking for a way out.